A Gradual Descent
by knowhere
Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. AU.
1. Salt

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 1: Salt

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN:** Surprise! I don't even know where this came from. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Lux. I just needed something to draw my attention away from it for the time being. That is, until the inspiration comes back for Lux. In the meantime, enjoy this…

Not an original idea by anyone's standards, least of all mine, but I'm taking this and reworking it to make it my own.

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'll tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

---

He rubbed the back of his neck, edging across the threshold of his room, heading straight for the kitchen. Squinting at the early morning light, he padded barefoot and nodded a greeting to the fair-haired roommate leaning against the counter. "Hey."

Simon nodded and munched quietly on his cereal. "You got in late last night."

Jess smirked. "Keeping an eye out for me, Mom?"

Rolling his eyes, he dumped the remaining milk into the sink. "Whatever."

"You wound me with that callous remark." Jess clutched his chest in a mock gesture. "Here I thought you loved me, Simon."

Unable to keep the smile away, he tugged at his dirty blond hair. "Get over yourself, Mariano." A surprised squeak made him whip his head in the direction of Jess's room. A leggy redhead came out with Jess's distinctive navy sheets wrapped around her slender figure.

Jess didn't bother to looking up until the weight of his roommate's accusatory glance compelled him to speech. "Simon, this is Charlotte."

Simon nodded politely seeing that the girl was clutching the protective sheets in a nervous gesture. Jess didn't seem to notice. Walking over to her, he nodded to the direction of his room and lowered his voice. "Thanks for last night." Though his words were oddly warm, one would have to be a complete idiot to miss the pointed statement.

Charlotte flushed. "Call me sometime?"

Jess made a snort of agreement, but didn't actually voice any promises. Both men watched the intruder disappear into Jess's room and reappear in a matter of minutes, fully dressed, but Simon's the one to watch her subtle retreat into the hallway of their spacious apartment. Watching his friend descend onto the plush leather couch, Simon stayed in the confines of their clean kitchen. "So?"

Not turning, Jess picked up the morning newspaper and carefully leafed through it. "So, what?"

"What's the story?"

"No story."

"There must be something to say." Simon pressed, refusing to let him drop the subject.

"Nope."

Simon wrinkled his brows, knowing Jess all too well to misread the plain aloofness. His friend was intensely private and revealed almost nothing. It's a gift, one that Simon respected and is utterly baffled by. He's known Jess long enough to know that he spoke in actions, looks, and silence. How someone is able to convey so much more in silence than words, is beyond the understanding of friendly, chatty, open Simon. More so, the reason behind how the pair became best friends eluded both men. Simon knew Jess's gift of retaining private thoughts, but was also is acquainted with Jess's ability to talk all night without revealing a single thing of consequence. Even after years of being friends, and then roommates, Simon had only cultivated certain concrete facts about Jess. Everything else is conjecture, guesses, and assumptions. Washing and then quickly drying his hands on the hanging towel, Simon crossed the space in several strides. "I'm gonna leave. Dinner tonight?"

Jess nodded and watched his friend disappear behind the room across the living room. "Sure. Call me when you get off work." Reading, but not concentrating, the tiny black print swam in front of his eyes. Flicking the corner of the paper with his thumb, Jess vaguely added a mark in the tally inside his mind. Another one. Another girl. Another nothing. Not that the thought should surprise him. He knew what he was doing. Call it distraction, a dalliance, or boredom, but it all amounted to the same thing. Release. A simple physical reaction that left him satisfied for the time being. And they were always willing. No woman was forced into his bed; he didn't need to resort to such extremes. There were plenty of pretty distractions that were good and willing to go home with him for the night. They all knew not to expect anything from him, and if they didn't, he made sure they did the next morning.

Jess Mariano was not a man for anything else than a trifling rendezvous with women. He left the inane ideas of love to the wildly successful novels he wrote. He left them to the world of fiction, where he lived through his characters. He gladly left the ridiculous notion to his creations, strangers he saw on the street, and of course, his roommate. Simon Cannon was not closed mouthed about his willingness to love. Over the years, Jess watched his friend descend into the so called feeling of being in love, and in the end, Jess was the one to pick up his friend when that idiotic blissful feeling disappeared and left Simon broken hearted. Jess was smarter than his romantic friend. He was the one who had avoided the pain for so long. He was the one who viewed love as something unattainable. He viewed it as a prison, a self-induced imprisonment, complete with shackles that bound the victim for a lifetime.

Shaking his head, he put down the paper and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Scoffing, he turned on the television and settled into the cushions. Love…why would anyone willingly want it?

---

"You're ditching me? What happened to bros before hos?"

"Jess." Simon's quiet tone of warning was engulfed in disgust.

"Oh, calm your ruffled feathers Cannon. I was just kidding." Jess switched the phone to the ear and continued to walk at a leisurely pace. "Who is she? You've never ditched me for a girl before."

"I met her a while ago. Friend of a friend. But I ran into her today. Anyways, don't act all offended, Mariano. I know you're not."

Jess shruged. "Still, I don't like being cancelled on. Well, she must be something. Tell me she's at least pretty."

There's rustling before Simon answered. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes, she is."

"All right. I'll see you later then."

"Okay."

"Cannon?" Jess adopted a fake tone of concern. "No glove, no love." No response came through the line except for the distinctive tone of Simon clicking off, and Jess laughed to himself. Not that he would say it aloud, least of all to his face, but Jess knew that the one word that would describe his best friend completely was sweet. As sweet as any man could be, Simon was. He was caring, polite, but he was still very much a guy's guy. He watched sports religiously, drank most under the table, and was fiercely independent. It was when the topic came to women that Simon became every mother's dream. He was the boy next door with his charming good looks. His square jaw and bright blue eyes could have graced magazine covers had Simon not been too intelligent to enter into a world where he was only admired for his body instead of his brain.

The two were much alike, and yet so different. Where Simon was open and honest, Jess was secretive and twisted flat out lies to make them sound like honesty. Simon wore his heart on his sleeve and Jess buried whatever beat below his chest. But both were inherently good men. Simon, being proud of the fact, Jess denying every single word, taking such praise as an accusation. They were both intelligent, Simon consistently being head of his class, and Jess lurking the sidelines, surprising everyone when he too, came up on top of his graduating class. Simon framed his college diploma with pride whereas Jess stuck it between the pages of his favorite first edition, a large crease down the middle of the important document signaling an accomplishment.

Both men enjoyed the finer things in life, and they spared no penny when it came to choosing a comfortable apartment. Both of them held down careers that allowed for various other luxuries in their lives. However, how they spent their money differed slightly. Simon chose to use his to make their home comfortable, with gadgets in their kitchen, a lush sofa, and a stereo system any man would be proud to show off. Jess was quieter in his daily expenditures, saving his money for seeing the world on his often disappearances from the confines of New York City. He traveled the world with a backpack, passport, and camera. He had a passion for photos that he indulged in, vowing that one day he would purchase a home that allowed a space for him to install a darkroom.

Simon chose his girlfriends carefully, almost methodically, and Jess only needed to reach out his arm and there always seemed to be a willing girl for the night. Simon had to work for it, despite his good looks and boyish charm. Jess had magnetism to his personality that Simon could not begin to compete with. Thankfully, they never chose the same woman. Despite the fact that Simon was loyal to everyone, and Jess to no one, they shared the similar sentiment that friends were hard to come by. All in all, Jess was a closeted loyal friend, sticking up for Simon when other men viewed Simon's romantic side as weak. More than once, Jess had gotten into drunken bar fights with Simon at his side, though both always regretted resorting to fists the next day.

In spite of their differences, the two had met through mutual friends when they were fresh out of college, both looking for jobs in the city. On the surface, they made for an odd pair of friends. But anyone who knew them knew better than to come between the two.

---

Jess awoke early, his body never allowed him to sleep longer than seven hours at a time. Slipping on his boxers, he rubbed his eyes as he swung his door open and walking to the kitchen for a cup of morning tea. The sight of a slender brunette pushing various buttons at their expensive coffee maker made him stop for a moment. Smirking and enjoying the sight of exposed legs, Jess leaned casually against his door.

Frustrated, she mumbled to herself and continues to push random buttons. Holding a mug between nervous fingers, she huffed and blew a stray lock of hair out of her way. "Come on, please turn on. I'll be very grateful. I'm only asking for a cup of coffee. Just one and I'll never bother you again." She seemed to be stroking the side of the polished steel, as if a caress was what the machine needed. "Oh you stupid thing. Why do people make such fancy machines? How hard is it to add a simple 'On' button? As if dropping a couple hundred for a coffee machine is worth it at all." Hearing a muted chuckle from behind, she whirled around, a shocked expression gracing her fair features. Looking very much like a deer caught in the headlights, she clenched her bare toes and dropped her gaze nervously.

"I'm sure if you gave it another gentle pet, it'd be convinced of turning on." Jess mocked her gently as he stepped into the kitchen. Coming up to her, he assessed her with a swift but smoldering glance and flicked at a hidden button, watching the coffee maker whirl instantly to life.

"Wow, you're good at that."

Jess nodded, feeling amused. "It helps that I have an intimate knowledge of the machine, I suppose."

She smiled and impishly replied, "So you're the kind to waste an excess amount of money on a coffee maker simply because it looks manly with its polished steel."

"Nope. That would be Simon." At the sudden mention of the missing person who obviously brought this female into their home, Jess sobered. Not moving back an inch, he remained entirely too close for comfort. "And you are…?"

"Oh! Rory. Hi." She offered her hand to him and he took it, shaking it briefly with his long fingers caressing the inside of her wrist before releasing.

"Jess. Simon's roommate." He stepped back and took stock of her appearance once again. She had wide blue eyes that almost seemed unnatural. A dusting of freckles appeared as she began to blush at his intense stare. He noted that the freckles continued over the tops of her shoulders and her pale arms. Her lips pursed and he couldn't help but notice that they were full and slightly pouty at the moment. He itched to taste them below his own lips, wondering if they were as soft as they seemed. Her tank top clung to her upper body, framing small breasts and a flat stomach. She was wearing a pair of Simon's boxers, Jess noted, as he continued his visual trip down her body. Her waist was slim, flaring out to the curve of her hips. Naked legs continued for a while and Jess took in the bare feet with toenails painted a cheery, but muted shade of pastel yellow.

"Stop that." Her voice broke the smothering silence.

He didn't jerk his face guiltily up to hers. Lazily, with a smirk in place, he met her face at his own leisurely pace. "Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what, sweetheart?"

Rory blinked at the sudden endearment, realizing that a man like Jess gave them freely and without consequence. "Like you're sizing me up."

He smiled, a gleam of white teeth contrasting against the darker olive of his skin. "So what if I am?"

She stuck out her chin. "It's impolite."

He chuckled. "Like I give a damn about what's polite."

"Well, don't." She stuck stubbornly to her resolve.

"Why not?"

"It's making me nervous."

He leaned down and reached behind her for the mug she had previously clutched between her fingers. "That doesn't sound like my problem."

"Hey, I was going to use that cup."

He turned and fixed her with a pointed gaze. "It's mine. Here." He opened a cupboard and handed her another mug. "You can have one of Simon's."

She rolled her eyes to herself. "Sheesh, no one taught you to be nice to guests, did they?"

He smirked at her attempt to make him feel guilty. "But you're not _my_ guest."

She recoiled at his rudeness. Refusing to take the mug he offered, she turned away and retreated to Simon's room. Thoroughly put off by Jess's blatant disregard of manners, she clicked the door closed behind her and spied Simon still sprawled on his stomach, hair rumpled, with the covers twisted and pooling around his lower back. Crawling in beside him, Rory snuggled against him and pressed open-mouth kisses to his shoulder blades. Simon stirred and lifted his head, smiling drowsily. "Hey, you."

She smiled. "Morning."

"What time is it?" Simon rolled onto his side and reached out to tuck her against his chest.

"Seven."

"Hm." He mumbled into her hair. "Early." A couple of seconds tick by and he speaks up again. "Were you just in the kitchen?"

How he knew, she had no idea. "Yeah."

"I suppose Jess was there."

She played dumb. "Jess?"

"My roommate."

"Um, yeah. I was trying to get a cup of coffee. He turned it on for me."

"There's a little flat button on the side. It's flush with the machine. Can be hard to find."

Dryly, she remarked, "Yeah."

Noting her change of tone, he pulled back to look at her. "What?"

"Huh?"

"You wanted to say something."

"Nothing." She sighed. "Just…your roommate."

Simon's playful glance suddenly became hard. "What about him?"

Misreading his expression, Rory quickly confided in him. "He's rude."

Simon's jaw twitched. "What do you mean?"

"He was rude. That's what I mean." Rory knew that Simon had a protective streak and thought that he would understand that his roommate had made her feel uncomfortable in their early morning exchange.

"Jess is like that. A bit unpolished."

"I don't like him. He was presumptuous and arrogant."

Simon released her from his arms, but didn't get out of bed completely. "I'm not asking you to like him."

Feeling disorientated at the release, Rory ducks down to catch Simon's eyes. "What?"

He turned and faced her dead on. "Jess is my best friend. I know he grates on some people's nerves, but I'm not asking you to like him. But he's my friend and he lives here. End of story."

Unused to his side of Simon, even after a month of dating, Rory suddenly back peddled. "I didn't mean…"

Swinging his legs over to the edge of the large bed, he sat up and turned to fix his gaze on her. "No, I'm sure you didn't mean anything when you insulted my friend." He was accusing her and absolutely devoid of the open, friendly Simon she'd come to know and appreciate over the course of their relationship.

Confused and hurt, she sat up beside him. "Simon, I'm sorry."

Quickly, his demeanor changed and he relaxed. Taking her hand into his larger one, he gave her his charming smile. "Me too. I didn't mean to be like that." He played with her fingers and smiled ruefully. "Didn't mean to ruin our first morning together."

She relaxed as well. "It's okay, nothing's ever perfect."

He stood and shruged on his shirt. She reached for his arms and he stopped her efforts. "I just want to make one thing clear, Rory. If you're going to be with me, you have to understand that Jess is my friend. I'm not the kind of guy to change friends because his girlfriend doesn't like them."

Simon was very loyal and Rory knew it. It was one of his more admirable qualities. Before, she thought it make for a wonderful boyfriend, but now she was starting to see how that quality in Simon swung both ways. "I'm not asking you to change friends."

"I know you aren't." He traced a finger down her jaw. "It's just been a problem before and I don't want to go through it again."

"With Jess?" She couldn't stop herself from asking. If Simon had problems with previous girlfriends and Jess, why was he being purposely blind to the fact that maybe it was his roommate's fault and not the girls?

"Kinda." He replied vaguely.

She adopted a flirtatious smile. "Well, we can always stay at my place."

Simon wanted to protest, saying that he won't avoid his own home simply because of his roommate, but decided to relent. Her sweet smile made him want to kiss her again. Pulling away from their brief connection, he rubbed the pad of his thumb across her lower lip. "Breakfast?"

"Sure."

---

The apartment was brightly lit, even though Jess was only occupying the dining table with his laptop open and whirring quietly as he tapped away at the keys.

Dropping his bag onto the counter, Simon loosened the knot of his tie. "Hey." Jess grunted a reply. Sifting through their mail, Simon tossed some of the junk away and handed Jess some envelopes. "You eaten?"

Jess shrugged and gestured to the bowl of mac and cheese on the table, all without breaking his stream of steady tapping on his keyboard. Stopping, he closed the Apple computer and glanced up at Simon's weary face. "Long day?"

"Yeah. I could use a drink. Come on, let's go."

Disappearing into his room, Jess grabbed a jacket and donned it quickly. "The usual?"

"Yeah. I almost lost a client today. My boss totally took it out on me. Asshole."

Jess smirked and clapped a hand on his friend's back. Locking the door behind them, he pocketed the key. "Sorry, man." Pushing the down button, they waited for the elevator. "I'll buy you a drink tonight."

"Several."

Both of them chuckling, they stepped into the elevator.

---

"Simon's not home." He braced both hands on either side of the doorway, blocking her entry.

Annoyed at his tone, she crossed her arms protectively across her chest. "Well, do you know when he'll be back? We were supposed to have dinner tonight."

"You sure?"

His cocky question made her scowl. "Yes."

"He didn't mention it."

"Well, I don't think Simon tells you his dinner plans." She snapped impatiently.

He smiled, his lazy smile that she'd come to hate over the course of dating Simon. "Huh."

She waved a hand in the general direction of the apartment. Incredulously, she gestured. "Are you gonna at least let me wait inside?"

"I guess that would be the polite thing to do, yeah?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Yeah."

Not moving, he watched her in amusement. She allowed every emotion to play across her face. He could read her a mile away. While Jess normally preferred mysterious women, this one was so enchanting in her openness that it made him want to know more just because she offered it in her features.

She snorted. "Fine. Forget it. Just tell Simon I came by. If that's not too much trouble." Sarcasm dripped from her last remark.

He chuckled at her turned back. "God, you're adorable when you're mad."

She whipped around, hair swinging. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

Cocky bastard. "I did, but I can't believe it. You don't even like me."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He shrugged.

With her eyes wide, Rory could barely comprehend the conversation. He was one of, if not the most, annoying man she had ever been in contact with. Jess was disarming in his intensity, throwing her off guard with just the tiniest elevation of his eyebrows or the tug of a hidden smirk.

He stood aside. "Well? You gonna come in or what?" He teased.

Rory hesitated. "Maybe I'll just call Simon."

"What? All that talk about coming in and now you don't?" He continued to stare at her. "Come on. I don't bite." She walked slowly, ducking below his arm that held the door open. As she brushed against his chest, he whispered into her ear, his breath hot and promising. "But if you asked nicely, I'd be happy to oblige." She stiffened and took a seat at their kitchen table. He chuckled at her reaction and closed the door behind him. Going to the fridge, he opened it. "Want something to drink?"

"I don't want to put you out." She replied tartly.

"Oh, don't worry. You're not." He remarksed just as smartly. Not bothering to turn to look at her, he rummaged through the containers. "Milk? Nah, you don't look like you'd want milk. Beer? No, you don't seem like the beer type. Orange juice? No, too breakfasty. Water? We have bottled. Simple and plain. Yeah, that sounds like you."

Her jaw dropped as he turned around and offered her a bottle of Aquafina. Shaking her head angrily, she picked up her purse and headed for the kitchen. Sucking in a gulp of air, she marched straight up to his face and tilted up her chin in defiance. "What the hell is your problem? If you don't like me, just come out and say it. There's no need to hide behind your insults."

To his credit, he didn't even flinch. "I never said I didn't like you."

"You didn't need to." Her voice became louder.

"If I wanted to say something, believe me sweetheart, I'd tell you flat out. I don't hide behind anything."

"Don't call me sweetheart!"

"Now you're telling me what I can and cannot call you?"

"God!" She threw up her hands. "You're the most infuriating person I've ever met!"

He actually had the gall to smirk. "I'll take that as a compliment." He really was having way too much fun pushing this girl's buttons. Jess had never taken much interest into Simon's girlfriends, staying away from what was obviously forbidden territory. But there was something about this one that made Jess want to engage, made him want to push her to her boundaries just to see how she'd react.

"You would." Placing her hands on her hips, she furrowed her brows. "I can't understand why Simon would be friends with someone like you."

Jess eyes darkened considerably and Rory knew she had crossed a hidden line. "That's not your concern."

Suddenly, she doesn't care about what Jess deems to be her concern or not. She finally found a sore spot and she wanted to rub some salt into him, much like he'd had been in their limited interactions with one another. He wasn't the only one who could insult. "What? You can dish it out but you can't take it? Why would someone as nice and caring, as Simon be friends with a guy who obviously cares about nothing? Who treats women like objects, and disposes of them like yesterday's newspapers?"

Jess's features were not clenched in his defense, but his eyes were hard, dark brown encased in steel. "And why would Simon be with someone like you? Ordinary, just like yesterday's news?"

Her blue eyes widened and without warning, her palm came into sharp contact with the side of his face. He took the slap and turned his face back to hers. Cupping his wounded jaw, he smirked. "That's the best you've got?"

"I can't beleive you." Her eyebrow twitched and she raised her hand again, to the other side of his face, when he surprised her and caught her wrist with an instant hard grip.

Tugging harshly on her arm, she almost collided into the hard planes of her chest. "I gave you one. You don't get to hit me again."

He spoke as if he had allowed her to slap him. Angry beyond words, she turned her wrist and dug her short nails into his skin. "Go to hell."

Jess stared into her eyes, unyielding his grip. "I don't believe that is your decision to make." He sensed her slight movement and he reached down to grasp her waist, ensnaring her into the warmth of his own body. "Don't even think about it."

"What?"

"You want to kick me. I can feel it."

"So what if I do?"

He smiled his lazy smile again. "Don't do it. I'm warning you."

"You're _warning_ me?" Rory sucked in an angry breath. "Who the hell are you to warn me?"

That was the last straw for him. Swooping down, he caught her lips between his own, moving with surprising skill. Why she was surprised, she had no idea. Someone like Jess would be skilled in seduction, and the thought that he would degrade her into one of his conquests made her want to knee his groin. Trying to wrench away from him proved fruitless, he tightened his grip on her, demanding a response to his kiss. While she refused, he slowed down to coax it out of her with a gentle pressure of his lips, the tantalizing dart of his tongue against the front of her lips. He released her wrist and moved his hand to the back of her neck instead, gently massaging the soft skin until she gasped. Taking that opportunity, he delved into her mouth, running his tongue along the front of her teeth. He wasn't pushing or demanding, she realized. He was experienced. He was slowly letting her grow accustomed to him, waiting for her willingness to his kiss. It was obvious that he would wait all night if need be, but he was going to get a response one way or another.

Unable to help herself, drunk on his slow kisses, she brought her hands up to clutch at his shirt. She was always the good girl. The calm one that relied on protocol to govern her life. Rory Gilmore always played by the rulebook, always the one who never had detention and was never grounded. She was the girl that parents wanted their daughters to be friends with, and their sons to date. She was never the adventurous one, never to catch the eye of the bad boy or the dangerous type. She caught the attentions of guys like Simon, who cherished her and in a way, coddled her. Never had she been kissed like this. Never with a man like Jess. One who held his own in any situation, and who actually goaded her into a fiery temper.

He was still waiting, and instead of resisting, she gave in. She just wanted to know for once in her life, what it felt like to give into temptation, to give into her baser instincts instead of shying away from them. She opened her mouth again, accepting his kiss and matching it with her own angry one. He irritated and aggravated her. He pushed her to her limits every time they tried to have a normal conversation. Working her frustration of him out on their kiss, she clutched his shoulders, biting his lip as he tugged her even closer between his parted legs. She could feel his arousal, even through the denim of both their jeans. He continued to kiss her slowly, as if she would break, or like she wasn't even worth his full attention. Annoyed, she gripped his collarbone and then his jaw opening his mouth as she showed him that she wasn't the delicate girl everyone thought she was. She was a woman in her own right; almost thirty years of being protected made her angry. She was tired of being mothered. She had one that she loved dearly and that was enough. She was a grown up, damn it.

As if he could sense her change of emotions, Jess pulled her closer still and wrapped both arms tightly around her lower back, bending her under the torrent of his weight. He pushed her against the kitchen counter, making her wince as he finally kissed her fully, holding nothing back. Matching their hips together, he held still, not moving a muscle even as she obviously wanted him to grind into her. Easing out of the kiss, he slowly opened his eyes, seeing that she already was staring wide-eyed with disbelief. Releasing her, he breathed heavily, as if even he couldn't believe what was happening.

She narrowed her eyes and watched the quick play of emotion across his features. In a brief moment, she realized that Jess had just crossed into unknown territory. He might be able to hide behind his hard exterior, but Rory realized that Jess had never kissed any of Simon's girlfriends before. That knowledge left her dizzy with an unknown emotion. But as she glanced into Jess's eyes once more, he schooled his face into his usual blank expression. The real Jess had hidden once more behind his empty façade. He was gone, and it made Rory want to kiss him again just to bring him back.

He stepped back and straightened his spine. Walking around her, he doesn't even spare her another glance. She hears his bedroom door close with a distinctive click behind him. Staying still, she reaches shaky fingers up to touch her bruised lips. The front door turned with the sound of a key as Simon stepped through.

He smiled in pleasant surprise. "Rory, what are you doing here?"

"We were supposed to have dinner, remember?" How she found her voice, she couldn't recall.

"Right! So sorry." Contrite, Simon walked over to her and smiled. "Can you forgive me?"

"Of course. That is, if you take me out now." She smiled what she hoped was a flirty smile. What she didn't add was she wanted out of the apartment straight away.

"Sure. Anywhere you want." He ushered her out with a flick of his wrist. "You must be starving by now."

She nodded and turned to get her purse. When she glanced up, she noticed Jess's dark form in the entrance of his room, staring at her with the same intensity she had become accustomed to. Rory met his gaze steadily, even though her belly was shaking. Continuing to return his stare boldly, she silently challenged him to say a word about what had just passed between them. Breaking the eye contact, she followed Simon, who was unaware of the tension in the room.

---

Later that night, Simon returned to the apartment, unaccompanied. Jess watched from the couch as his friend bid him goodnight and walked into the bedroom alone. Watching the television, but seeing nothing, Jess knew that the absence of Rory was significant. He knew that after every date, Simon inevitably brought Rory back to their apartment. Unsure of what was going on, Jess privately scolded himself.

How the hell had he allowed himself to kiss his best friend's girlfriend? It was an unspoken agreement that girlfriends were off limits. Jess had pushed the boundaries to have even flirted with her, but to kiss her was unthinkable.

But the most disturbing of all was that Jess was wondering what she felt about it all. Never had he ever concerned himself with the inner thoughts or feelings of women he kissed. He wanted to tease her again, make her so angry again that she would crush her lips against his just to make a point. He wanted to feel her plastered against him once more, her smaller frame strung tightly with coiled frustration and passion. Beneath her good girl exterior lay something deeper that Jess wanted to know. He very much doubted that Simon knew there was another Rory lurking beneath the surface.

What scared Jess most of all was the possessive need to keep that hidden Rory all to himself. He wanted to make her come out again, make Rory his own. He suddenly realized that there was more to it than that. There was a need that went beyond the physical. Something more and unattainable.

That startling thought alone was enough to make him sleepless for the entire night, staring up at the ceiling.

---

**AN:** Review Please.


	2. Easier

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 2: Easier

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN:** Thanks for the response. It amuses and flatters me that so many of you are taking to this story like ducks to water...many of you even boldly proclaimed that you like it more or just as much as Lux. Thank you. This story is very much about changes in charcters whereas Lux was about changes in situations. However, I'm having a great time writing this. It's moving along faster than I anticipated and I think this will prove to be one of my own personal favorites.

Asa: Thank you for helping me as I tried to remove myself away from my "Lux-world" and delve into this newer one.

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

---

Two and a half weeks later, she still hadn't run into him in the early morning hours, or accidentally bumped into him without Simon. Not that she wanted to, of course. Not after the disastrous kiss they shared. Rory was secretly pleased that Jess was so adept at hiding in shadows behind his hard exterior. She had observed for herself the subtle change of emotions after their kiss that night. She watched as he turned open feelings into a thing of the past. Rory saw the flicker of his hazel eyes turn browner as he pushed her aside both literally and figuratively as he stepped aside and brushed her away. She admired it and yet hated it. She had seen something in him and he hid it away before it could be mistaken for a sign of weakness.

So why had that kiss haunted her still? It was just a brief moment of uncontrollable need. One tiny second of her loosing the tight rein of her morals made her hot inside, blood boiling to a pitch. So why had kissing that cocky devil made everything feel so right? But it wasn't right. It was wrong.

"Rory?" Simon's concerned glance jerked her out of her private thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

Sheepish, she shakes her head. "Sorry."

Instead of being annoyed at her lack of attention, he grinned. "I said, is it all right if we stopped by the apartment? I have some paperwork I need to drop off at the office before we head off to dinner."

With her limited interactions with Jess, she had no idea whether or not he'd be home. "Uh…"

"I'll be quick. Promise." Thinking that she was in a hurry to eat, he let her know that they won't be late for their reservations.

Knowing that there's nothing to say without revealing something she didn't want to, she relented. Oddly enough, she wasn't racked with guilt over kissing Simon's friend. It was a temporary insanity. One that was not going to be repeated, so why ruin the good thing she had going with Simon for something as ridiculous as Jess?

Unlocking the door, Simon walked through and led her with her hand closed warmly within his own. He had come to enjoy Rory's company. Though he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this wasn't going to be the great love in his life, he really did like being with her. She was quirky and refreshing, unpretentious in her actions, and demanded very little of their relationship. He would have been happy to give her anything she requested, is she had asked. In all honesty, there lacked a certain heat within her calm personality. Simon needed someone who challenged him more than she did. Rory was a nice girl, a beautiful one at that, but she seemed lackluster in her quiet existence. Not that Simon required danger, but he wanted a woman who would meet him with a challenge. One who would rise up to the occasion and perhaps, give him a fight. He didn't like things being handed to him, and Rory was all too willing. But, he'd take their time together in stride. He wasn't going to let a perfectly good girl, and potentially a happy relationship, slip through his fingers simply because he thought she was lacking in a certain something that should make his heart leap instead of beat regularly.

Jess stepped out of the bathroom with ease, his long legs taking the familiar path to the kitchen table where he did most of his writing. He had sat at that table typing away at his computer more times than he could count. Even though there was a spare room that he and Simon both used as a study, Jess had preferred the kitchen table to do his work. There was something peaceful about being in the middle of the apartment alone, sitting halfway between the couch and the kitchen. Even though it wasn't, Jess felt like it was the focal point of the apartment. His gaze caught at the familiar sight of his roommate, and froze at the not so familiar face of Rory.

"Hey man. We just came back to grab some papers to drop off at the office before we head off to dinner. Have you seen the packet I left on the counter from last night?" Simon rifled through the mail that littered the kitchen counter, not noticing the way his best friend stared as his girlfriend.

"I threw some papers into the study," Jess gruffly replied.

"Thanks." Simon left them abruptly.

Jess sat without prelude. "Couldn't avoid me forever, huh?"

Rory looked away, not in embarrassment, but in confusion. Wasn't it him who was doing the avoiding? "We'll be gone soon. Just as soon as he finds what he's looking for."

Unkindly, he swept his gaze up and down her form, drinking in what had been missing in his recent memories. "Good."

Both their heads turned at the sound of Simon swearing softly. He appeared in the room again and sent Rory a soft look of remorse. "Sorry, it turns out that I need to go to work. There's been an emergency with a client." Coming up to her, he dropped a kiss onto her lips. "Will you be okay?"

Not knowing what to say, she nodded.

Simon winked at her and turned his attention to Jess, speaking to Rory, but clearly making a pointed remark to his friend. "Jess makes a great lasagna. He's usually happy to show off when he's asked correctly."

Jess rolled his eyes, but otherwise stayed silent. Rory nodded again and gave Simon a reassuring smile. "Maybe I'll just head home."

"No, don't do that. This'll take me two hours, tops. We don't have to loose tonight simply because I need to leave for a bit. Stay." Simon nudged her gently.

"I don't think…"

"Yeah, stay. I'll make dinner." Jess's quiet, but steady voice jolted her.

Simon glanced back at his friend, his gaze apparent in his attempt to silently convey to his friend to be nice. Jess smirked.

Hearing the door close behind Simon, Rory looked up to see Jess's fixed stare. "Why did you do that?"

Standing, he went into the kitchen, pulling out a baking pan. "Do what?"

"Make it seem like you want me here."

He shrugged, unshaken. "Who said I didn't?"

"Whatever."

He turned, a grin in place. "What does that mean? Whatever?"

"It means whatever you want it to mean."

Clanking some pots together in his efforts to get what he wanted, he pulled out a chopping board. "Isn't it a bit dangerous to give me carte blanche?"

"You're just dangerous, period," She mumbled.

He chuckled, not missing a single word. "Perhaps. Is that another compliment, sweetheart?"

She wanted to tell him to shove that nickname up his ass, but the words didn't come. Oddly enough, his endearment did just that…endear. It was a weird effect. Spying his laptop, she walked around to the other side of the table and plopped down in front of it. The sound made him turn around, a refusal on the tip of his tongue. Seeing his disapproval, she smirked. Gesturing to the computer, she flipped it back open. "What, porn?"

He came around swiftly, catching her off guard. "None of your business."

"Hm. Seems like a lot of things are none of my business." She gestured to the laptop. "Whatever that is, your friendship with Simon…what else should we add to the list?"

"I'll let you know."

"What's the big secret?" She turned her eyes to the screen. Seeing an open Word document and various windows open in this Internet browser showing obvious meticulous research, her interest piqued. "What is all of this?"

He scowled. "It's my work."

"You work?"

With an eyebrow raised, he questioned her. "What, did you think that I sit on my ass all day?"

"I don't know what I think," she replied honestly.

He nodded, silently appreciating her honesty. "I write."

She looked surprised. "Really? What? Articles? Freelance?"

"Novels." He watched her eyes go wide, and he smirked. "Not what you expected is it?"

"Are you published?"

He cocked his head to the side in a dismissive gesture. "A few."

She spread her hands over the keyboard and clicked at the open windows on the desktop. He didn't stop her. She looked up at him through the corners of her eyes. "What's your last name?"

"Why?"

"Curious."

He chuckled as if he knew her train of thought before she knew herself. "Is that all? Nothing else? Not wanting to check if I'm the same Jess who authored a recently published book?"

She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. "So you are who I think you are. You're Jess Mariano."

Clicking his tongue, he gave her a wink. "Someone has to be."

"But…" She scrambled for words. "You're arrogant and conceited. You're rude and you totally disregard the feelings of others."

"Not that I don't enjoy your frequent attempts to point out my flaws, but what does that have to do anything with my work?"

"Your books. They're just so…"

He narrowed his eyes. "So what?" He dared her to continue.

"They're just so full of…something indescribable. They're wonderful."

That was not what he was expecting to hear from her. He had braced himself for another flood of her accusations based on no real knowledge of what he truly was. Her sudden praise brought a surge of unknown feelings.

"How does someone like you write things so…"

"Wonderful?" He finished her sentence.

"Don't get an inflated ego."

He got up, walking back into the kitchen. "Oh, wouldn't dream of it."

She followed. "Is that why you're always in the apartment? You write from home?"

He picked up the knife and began to slice tomatoes. "Guilty as charged." Rinsing off another tomato, he began to cut into it as well. "Tell me, did you like my book?"

Her silence was prolonged. She was torn between a lie and the truth. On one hand, she wanted to tell him that she loved it, that she has all three of his published works. She wanted to tell him that his latest one was actually in her purse, and that the others were on her nightstand at home. On the other hand, she wanted to tell him that they were utter crap; that a five year old could have done better.

Without turning, he reached for the bag of prepared salad. "Come now, don't lie. I already know you've read at least one of my books, so just tell me what you thought."

Rory cocked her head at being caught. He frightened her the way he seemed to know her own mind before she did. "What makes you think I've read it?"

"You recognized my last name."

"Maybe I simply saw your book in the store."

Finally, he turned, fixing her with his steely gaze. "I could see it in your face. You recognized me beyond just noticing my last name. You've read my work."

"So what if I have?"

"You liked it." It's a plain statement, not even a question. His arrogance showed. He knew she liked his work, and he wasn't shying away from the obvious delight it gave him. Seeing Rory open her mouth, he chided her before she can even begin. "Don't lie."

"Ugh! Who said I was going to lie?"

He chuckled at her frustration. "I could tell."

Dropping the subject, she assessed his relaxed stance. "Why do you live with Simon? You can obviously afford an apartment like this all by yourself."

He snorted. "So can Simon."

"Then why?"

"That's another thing to add to the list."

Caught off guard, she hesitated. "What list?"

"The list of things that are none of your business."

Her palm itched to slap him again. "What is your problem? Are you completely incapable of holding a normal conversation?"

"And are you completely incapable of accepting the fact that not every conversation will go exactly the way your want it to?" Turning, he set the knife down and wiped his hands on a dishtowel.

"This is ridiculous." She backed up. "Tell Simon that I needed to go home. Lie, whatever. Just tell him that I'll call."

His brown eyes went hard. "I'm not telling Simon anything. I'm not lying to him simply because you're too much of a coward to do so yourself."

"A coward?" Rory hissed. "You don't know the first thing about me, damn it."

"Ditto." Slowly, he approached her. "Tell me, why are you with Simon?"

She scoffed. "That's none of _your_ business."

"Simon's my best friend. That makes it my business."

Holding her own against him, she stood up taller. "No it doesn't."

"You're no good for him." He said it bluntly, and he knew it hurt her.

Her gaze became hazy. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

"Is that why you're such an asshole to me? Because you think I'm no good for Simon?"

"No, I'm an asshole because I can be. I still think you're no good for him, no matter how I act towards you."

"How dare you!"

He caught her hand. "Yes." Lowering his head to hers, he pierced her with his fierce eyes. "Simon has had too many failed relationships in the past. More than I care to count. You're just going to add to that list. He doesn't deserve that."

"And you know just what he deserves?"

"I do."

"No you don't. You're just jealous. I've come between you and your friend and you can't stand it. You don't want to share him with someone else."

He gripped her hand tightly, unrelenting. "Women will always come and go, but nothing will come between friends. But what you'll inevitably do to Simon is undeserved on his part. He needs a woman who'll challenge him, not a meek one who will submit."

And that cut her deeper than any of his other insults ever had. It hurt the most because it was true, and she knew it. She was always the best friend, never the girlfriend. And when she was the girlfriend, she was just a glorified friend with benefits. For some reason, she was never engaging enough to hold onto her boyfriends, and vice versa. They also never excited her passions, neither intellectual nor physical. It was never enough for her to want more than a passing relationship. She was never viewed as a challenge in men's eyes. She was just the open book that was easily read and then discarded. And yet she had tried so hard to change, to be someone worthy of being held on to, to be loved. But she never found it. Never found someone she wanted to challenge in return.

He released her, knowing that he cut her with much more force than intended. He watched the play of emotions across her face with careful intent. He saw the internal struggle of her battling her past demons. He saw as Rory debated on struggling against him, denying the truth, he even watched her acknowledge the fact that she wanted to hit him again. "I'm right, and you know it."

"I don't care what you think you know. You don't know _me_."

Suddenly, his voice became quiet. "Why do you become someone else with Simon?"

"What?"

He shook his head in disbelief. "You're different with him, and not for the better."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you pretend to be someone you're not. You think you're being what Simon wants when you're with him. You don't show him this side of you, do you Rory?"

"And what side is this?"

"The side that presents a challenge. The side that has no qualms in being angry with me. Up to the point of slapping me."

To her shock, he reached down and took her hands, laying them on his chest. Bending, he nuzzled the side of her neck, brushing a whisper of a kiss on her jawbone. She swallowed heavily. "What are you doing?"

He ignored her with a question of his own. "Answer me. Tell me why you're different."

"I can't."

His hands came to tangle with her hair. "Why not?"

"Because I don't know the answer." As if her fingers had a life of their own, she brushed over his chest, feeling the twitch of his muscles beneath her searching caress.

"You don't know, or you're afraid to know?"

His arrogance grated her. But it was the truth. "Both."

He let it go. Taking the lobe of her ear between his front teeth, he tugged gently, drinking in the sounds of her short breathless pants. Smoothing a hand over the delicate curve of her neck, he pressed insistent kisses along the exposed skin at the top of her low cut shirt. The other hand came up to press against the weight of her breast, and she gasped. Kissing her, he swallowed the sound. His hand left her neck and inched below her shirt, seeking exposed skin and warmth.

"Don't." She tried to pull away.

"Don't what?"

"Stop this." She succeeded in shoving this hand away. "You're just trying to ruin what I have with Simon."

She expected him to grin or smirk with his lazy smile in place. But what she saw frightened her to the point of tingling excitement. He stared with an intensity that was inhuman. Jess's eyes darkened. "Simon is the last thing on my mind right now."

"You're just trying to seduce me. Trying to make me into one of your many conquests."

His smirk appeared. "If that were true, sweetheart, you'd be naked by now, instead of worrying about Simon."

"I thought you were his best friend."

"I am."

"Then how can you be kissing me?"

He blinked. "It does present a problem, doesn't it?"

"So you've seduced his girlfriends before?"

His reply was swift. "No. What kind of friend do you think I am?"

"I don't know what I think when it comes to you."

His lazy smile made a brief appearance. "Another compliment?"

"Like hell it is."

"If Simon could see you now, just as you are, he'd fight to keep you."

Rory's jaw clenched. "And he wouldn't fight for me now?"

"I'm not saying that."

"You implied it."

"You inferred it."

She uttered a frustrated groan. "You are the most presumptuous man I have ever met. You just—"

He cut her off with a fevered kiss, swallowing her insults, mixing it with the warmth of his mouth. He soothed every demand of her body with his kiss. It was the same gentle, quiet demand of the first kiss. She was beginning to understand this style of his. Jess never took anything that wasn't given freely. He pressed and goaded, but never forced. He waited with a silent patience of a man who was used to getting exactly what he wanted from women.

Wrenching her mouth away, she barely caught her breath. "Stop doing this to me!"

Jess gave a harsh laugh. "Like I have any control over it."

"You have total control and you know it!"

In an instant, his quietly controlled resolve crumbled. "Like hell I do! Do you think I enjoy betraying my best friend? No matter what you might think, I've never crossed this line with any of Simon's girlfriends. But something just happens every time I'm around you. You make me want to throttle you and kiss you senseless at the same time! I can't stand the way you pretend to be someone else around Simon. But most of all, I can't stand the way you look in the mornings, coming into my kitchen, obviously looking freshly fucked with your hair around your shoulders, wearing Simon's boxers."

His sudden confession was more than she can handle. "No, you're lying. You just want to get rid of me." She couldn't believe it. Rory had never heard of anyone speak of her in such a way. With great passion and annoyance to the point of possessiveness.

How naïve was this girl? Jess wanted to shake her until she realized the truth. He wanted her under him, legs spread and willing, writhing against him until he could feel the sharp effects of her climax around his aroused body. He wanted her, all of her. But he wanted _this_ Rory, the one with the quick wit and tightly controlled temper. He didn't _want_ the girlfriend of Simon. He wanted Rory. "If I wanted to get rid of you, you'd be gone."

"You've got your wish then." Turning on her heels, she walked quickly out of the apartment.

---

Jess sat at the table with a container of fresh lasagna at his side. Delving into the glass pan, he swallowed. The front door opened and Simon appeared. "Hey." Jess nodded. Coming to the table, Simon peered around the spacious apartment. "Where's Rory?"

"She left."

Simon cocked his head at the vague statement. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You scare her away?" Simon plopped down to snag Jess's fork, taking a bite of the lasagna.

"What makes you say that?"

Simon sobered. "What is it? You don't like her?"

Jess stared intently at the flat pasta noodles. "I never said that."

"You didn't have to. I can see it. Even she can see it."

"I don't care what she can see."

Simon stopped, arrested by the vehemence in his friend's voice. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Unable to stop, Jess lost the control in his voice. "Why are you with her?"

Simon pulled back, unprepared for that question. "What difference does it make?"

Standing, Jess waved a dismissive hand. "Forget it."

With surprising agility, he reached out and grabbed his friend's wrist. "Tell me."

Jess struggled, tugging harshly away from Simon. "She's no good for you."

Simon released him, sighing. "She's a nice girl."

An arrogant snort is released from Jess. "Yeah, real nice. So nice that she's thoroughly predictable." That was the Rory Simon was acquainted with, and Jess knew it. Little did his best friend know that his girlfriend was far from the docile mouse she pretended to be.

Simon met Jess's gaze with a steady one of his own. "No one's asking you to date her. She's my girlfriend."

No matter how much they both knew Jess was right, there was no going against Simon's protective instincts. In that regard, both men were very similar. They both protected what was theirs with a fierce determination. Simon did it with words and then actions; Jess did it with actions and then words. But both would never let a single thing come between what they deemed to be important. "Yeah, I know very well that she's your girlfriend."

The way he worded it drew Simon's attentions. "Don't fucking tell me you like her."

Jess chose his words carefully. "No. I don't like your girlfriend." What he didn't add was that he was drawn to Rory, the _woman_, not Rory, Simon's girl.

Still, he wasn't convinced of Jess's statement. "But this is about her, isn't it? Why you've been acting all distant these last few weeks."

Jess gave a harsh chuckle. "That's just me, period." Moving away from the kitchen, he walked casually to his room.

"Jess." Simon stopped him with his quiet, dominant voice. Jess stopped but kept his back turned. "I don't care what went on between you and Rory, but she's my girlfriend. Understood?" _Stay away from her._

Jess clenched his fist around his doorknob until his knuckles turned a ghostly white. "Yeah."

---

He awoke to the familiar feeling of warmth beside him. Grunting, he hauled his legs over the side of the bed and wearily rubbed his hands over his face, vaguely thinking that he needed to shave. The body moved in the masses of bedclothes, and he noticed the stark outline of her nipples against the thin sheet. She was still asleep, and he didn't bother waking her. He never woke them; always allowed them to sleep their fill until they went out into the living room to seek him out. This was no different. She was pretty enough, with long legs that supported a body that could make any pubescent boy have wet dreams for a month. But with Jess's jaded tastes, he just saw another woman. One in a running list of many.

Closing the door behind him with a soft click, he strolled into the direction of the kitchen, mentally going over what they had in their fridge, deciding on Ego waffles. He spied her dark head bent over the morning paper and a cup of coffee. Annoyed that anyone would touch his paper before him, he ignored her completely, as if she didn't exist.

She cocked her head in his direction, placing the paper down with a swish. "Morning." Her voice was anything but cheery, almost as if the greeting hurt her physically to say aloud.

"Are you enjoying my paper?"

Rory made a face. Quickly shuffling the pieces together, she tossed them down over on the far side of the counter. "Sorry."

He didn't even pay attention; instead he focused on taking the waffles out of the freezer and popping them into the toaster. "Why?"

His single question irked her. "You obviously made it clear that you didn't want me reading your paper."

"Huh. Did I?"

She stood and dumped the remaining contents of her coffee down the drain. "Forget it."

Jess still focused on rummaging through the pantry for the syrup. Catching her off guard, he spoke quietly. "Where have you been?"

"What?"

He turned, giving her his full attention. He gave her his intense stare that inevitably made her knees weak and her palms itch to slap him. "You haven't spent a night here in two weeks. Where have you been?"

"I didn't have a fight with Simon, if that's what you're implying."

"I didn't imply. If you and Simon did argue, I would know."

Rory had no idea what to take from that statement. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"No."

She began to open her mouth in a tart reply, but a noise drew both their attention back in the direction of his room. Rory mumbled below her breath. "How appropriate."

He smirked, hearing her as clear as day. Though he addressed the intruder, he kept his gaze on Rory. "Sleep well, Claire?"

She nodded, strolling over to the pair of them, eyeing Rory with all the forgiveness of a sheepdog eyeing a wolf. "Morning." She placed her hands on Jess's waist, encircling them in a possessive manner.

Rory watched, eyes wide. Jess gently, but determinedly, removed Claire's hands and pushed her aside. "You'll probably want to get home to shower before work, yeah?" It was obvious he wanted her out.

Claire cocked her head in Rory's direction, but spoke to Jess. "Could I shower here?" She pressed.

"We only have one, and I still need to shower as well as my roommate."

Jess's dismissal of the woman made Rory uncomfortable. She began to inch away from them. Claire continued to stare at Rory in a way that irritated Jess. He didn't like being accused of anything, no matter how privately Claire did it. She sensed something between him and Rory and he didn't like it. He watched Claire pick up the coffee pot. "Maybe I'll join you." She tossed her hair in a provocative manner, and it only made Jess want her out even more.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

She finally got it. "Oh." She sets the coffee back down with a thud. "Okay."

He nodded and watched Rory's expression as she watched Claire reappear in less than three minutes, dressed and out the door. Rory arched her brow. "Lucky girl."

Jess chuckled. "She knew what she was getting into."

Rory watched him from beneath lowered lashes. "One night only?"

He shrugged in reply.

"Why am I even surprised?"

"Don't know. Why are you?" He smirked.

She stuck out her chin. "You're despicable."

"I prefer mysterious."

Oh, that was for certain. How anyone could be such a question mark was beyond Rory's comprehension. "Why even bother with them if you only want them for one night?"

His pointed glare gave her the answer.

"So they're pretty much prostitutes? You pay for the date and bring them home for sex."

He was amused. "Who said I paid for the date?"

"You really are a hateful person." She began to turn away.

He caught her hand. "Why do you care?" At her shocked expression, he pressed. "Why should you care about what goes on in my bed?" His mouth came down to press very near to her ear. "Curious? Jealous?"

Rory pushed hard against his chest, almost making him stumble. "Get over yourself."

The deep rumble of a chuckle was unkind, and she left him alone in the kitchen.

---

Jess nodded to the hostess. "Reservations under Cannon?"

"Yes. Please follow me."

Pushing the rolled up sleeves of his dress shirt, Jess trailed her closely, noting that she was pretty, but probably too young for him. When she turned the corner he noticed the distinctive sway of hips, and he raised a brow at himself. The hostess drew his attention with an outstretched arm towards a corner table. Expecting to see the easy smile of his best friend, Jess's good mood suddenly deflated and his arousal roared seeing Rory instead, in a low cut black cocktail dress, running a fingertip around the rim of her water glass.

She looked up. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jess took a seat. "I could ask you the same thing. I'm meeting Simon here."

"So am I. Well," she fumbled with her blackberry. "There must be a mistake." Pushing the familiar button to search for Simon's number, she dialed without another glance at Jess. "Simon? Hey, I'm at the restaurant. Did you, um…Jess is here as well." Her face scrunched. "No, you didn't tell me. Or him."

Jess ignored her and flagged down a waiter. "Grey goose screwdriver please."

"What? No." The vehemence in her voice arrested Jess. She gave him a furtive glance out of the corners of her eyes. "Well, how long? Simon…" She almost started to whine. "No, nothing. Yeah, hold on." She handed the phone to Jess. "He wants to talk to you."

He took it. "Cannon." Nodding along, Jess traced his fork with the pad of his thumb. "Yeah. Okay." Hanging up, he gave the blackberry back to Rory, palm up. "He can't come."

"Yeah, I got that."

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me."

Rory stared. "I think I'm gonna go."

"Why?"

Bluntly, she replied. "Because I don't want to have dinner with you."

"Huh." He wasn't insulted. "But I'd like to have dinner with you."

She looked away. "No you don't."

"How do you know?" He handed her one of the menus. "Come on, I'll be good. Promise." With that, he flashed her one of his charming smiles.

It caught her attention. That smile should be deemed illegal. Or lethal. "Are you buying?"

His eyes sparkled. "Sure." Taking a sip of his drink, he clicked his tongue. "So, I suppose you'll be getting the lobster then…" He trailed off as he read off the most expensive items out loud to her.

She tried, but she couldn't help but giggle. "And an expensive bottle of wine."

Jess's eyes snapped up. "You should laugh more." At the sight of her uncomfortable wiggle he peered back down to the menu. "Wine? Good choice. Hm, by the look of things, you might be able to eat away my entire royalty check for my new book. Lucky you."

"You're writing a new book?"

"Trying to at least." He closed the menu. "Know what you want?" He flagged down the nearest waiter and waited patiently for her to order. "Ladies first."

She smiled impishly. "I'll have the lobster." Rory kept her eyes glued to Jess's. "And I'll have a glass of your most expensive wine."

"Red or white, ma'am?"

She kept eye contact with Jess from across the table. "Whichever one costs more."

Jess snickered. "I'll have the same as her, minus the wine. Could you bring me another?" He tapped his half-empty glass.

"Of course, sir. Thank you." The waiter gathered their menus and walked off.

---

He was having a good time. Jess watched as the low lighting reflected off the blue flecks in her eyes, making her irises even larger than usual. He tried to keep his eyes from trailing down her deep v neckline, but failed every time she reached for a piece of bread or for her wineglass. The hair on the back of his neck pricked as she laughed, and every time she bit her lip as she considered her words, he wanted to reach over and take her hand into his own. He wanted to touch her, anywhere, everywhere. But he didn't.

She was enjoying herself, damn him. She had obviously underestimated his ability to hold a conversation. After ordering their meals, he had almost switched to another Jess. He was the Jess that had briefly made an appearance after their kiss. He was causal, but still self-assured. He lost the cocky edge in his tone, leaving him with a deep rumble of confidence that was overpowering. She watched as his long fingers flexed over the silver of his fork, wondering what it would feel like to have those fingers curl around her skin instead, tugging gently at her nipples. She shuddered.

He noticed. "You all right?"

"Yeah. Fine." She smiled and watched his tongue dart out to catch a crumb of his cheesecake.

Jess caught her staring. "What?"

"Why are you different?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She grinned. "Touché."

"So you admit it, then? That you're different when you're around Simon?"

Rory shrugged. "What person isn't a little bit different around certain people?"

He kept his eyes kind, coaxing the truth from her. "Okay, I'll give you that. But that's not what you do. You hide who you are from Simon. He doesn't know who you really are."

She pushed the sauce with her fork, making a loopy circle. "He knows what he wants to know."

"No. He's seeing what _you_ think he wants to know. Why not show him what you are, regardless of anyone's opinion, including your own?"

Her eyes flickered away. "It's easier this way."

"I like the real Rory better."

---

**AN: Please review after reading.  
**


	3. Debt

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 3: Debt

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Thanks for the responses it makes it all worthwhile. It's nice to hear that most of you seem to be enjoying it. And without further ado, on with the newest installment…

Asa: Thanks.

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

---

"You're up early." Jess greeted Simon without prelude, surprised that his usual late sleeper of a friend was up at seven thirty in the morning, and on a Sunday no less.

"I have some work to do."

"You going into the office?"

"Yeah. For a couple of hours." Simon took a sip of his coffee. "I have a meeting a client for lunch later."

"Never stopping, huh?" Jess nodded. Simon was hopelessly devoted to his work, determined to be a partner in his law firm before the age of thirty-five. Each respective man was driven in their own way, Jess in his continual quest for the perfect words in his novels, Simon in his vigilant pursuit of the law with an honesty that made most other corporate lawyers cringe. They both respected each other's works, though they didn't always understand the inner workings. Jess's knowledge of the law came from various episodes of Law and Order, and Simon's knowledge of books contained just the current John Grisham best seller.

"Rory's still asleep." Simon spoke up.

Jess glanced quickly at the closed door. "So what?"

"Don't scare the wits outta the girl when you blast your music as you work."

"Not working today." Jess shrugged. "It's Sunday."

Simon laughed out loud. "As if that's ever stopped you."

He snickered. "I'm getting older. I think it's about time I took a Sunday off for myself. You should consider it, Cannon."

"Yeah, right. As if I could afford the luxury of loafing around the apartment like you."

Jess chuckled. "You're just jealous."

"Damn right." Simon smiled and picked up his briefcase, downing the rest of his coffee before closing the front door behind him.

Picking up his favorite mug, Jess methodically steeped his tea bag into the steaming water, watching the color change. With the morning paper tucked under his arm, he found his way across the other side of the apartment, Simon's half. He stood there, with his tea and paper, staring at the pristine white door. Why was it so hard for him to admit what he felt for this woman? This woman who was untouchable because she was the girlfriend of his best friend. But Simon didn't know Rory. Jess knew that she refused to let Simon see the real her. She had claimed that Simon saw what he wanted to see and that was easier. But Jess knew it was bullshit. She was afraid of letting Simon see her, and oddly enough, it only made Simon want her less.

Oh, Simon never said those words aloud, but Jess knew. He could tell by the way his friend moved, the way he spoke about Rory. His eyes didn't spark, didn't hold anything more than respect and base affection. There wasn't the swirling passion that Simon deserved. Jess had seen Simon fall before. Several times. He didn't look as dull as he has with Rory. When Simon fell, it was all consuming, something that Jess refused to do himself. He had seen his friend loose his wits, loose his self-control, only to have all of that feeling thrown back into his face when the girl eventually became uninterested.

So why was he always filled with a strange urge every time he saw Rory? Why did he always need to insult her just to keep her at bay? When he pushed her, she pushed back. When he struck, she did so as well. And the one time she struck him physically proved the point all too much. Jess saw the heat between the two of them. He knew that she wanted him. He wasn't being arrogant or vain; it was the plain and simple fact. They wanted each other. He wanted her body. Jess wanted her in more ways than one. He wanted her in all ways, all positions. He wanted to feel the softness of her hair in contrast to the hardness of his muscle. Jess wanted to feel her snug against him, inside and out. He wanted to feel the shake of her climax around his arousal. He wanted to know if she was the kind to cry out during sex. Was she the kind to muffle her moans or did she keen like a crying kitten? He wanted her for one night. He wanted her for every night after that. He wanted her.

Then why did he also want her mind? He wanted that strange alchemy of her sharp wit and intelligence all for himself. She was like the perfect heroine of his book; the one that was elusive and proved never to be precisely written according to plan. She was the kind of character that he wanted to write about, but always backed out in the last minute. He could never get it quite right and anything less than perfection would ruin such a character. He wanted her body, yes, but he realized that after the release, he wanted her mind. Rory was the kind to keep him on his toes. Jess knew he wanted her in a way that Simon could never compete with.

But Jess refused to even begin such a competition. Better to keep her at arm's length, leave her to Simon. Finder's keepers. Simon found her first, and he had a right to her. Jess knew better than to push such boundaries.

The door opened with a soft noise and Jess berated himself at being caught in such a foolish position. Rory almost collided with him. "Oh!"

"Morning." Adopting his face of nonchalance, he glanced at her rumpled hair and Simon's day-old dress shirt.

"Simon's not in his room." She mistook Jess's presence as an attempt to find Simon.

"Huh." Taking the opportunity, he walked away, all too well aware that she was staring at his bare legs and chest. He grinned at himself and wondered if she liked what she saw. He was clad only in a pair of hunter green boxers. Returning to the kitchen, he dropped the paper onto the counter and refilled his mug with more water. "He left early. Meeting with a client."

"Oh." She ran nervous fingers through her hair, combing out the tangles. "Will he be back?"

"Don't think so. Not for a while, anyways."

"I guess I better get going then."

He met her gaze. "You hungry?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

She clenched her fist at the statement. It was becoming too familiar. She was beginning to notice things about Jess. His familiar vocabulary, his nuances, his lazy smile. They were all apart of his armor. She wanted to kiss him or punch him until all that armor disappeared. "Yeah, I'm hungry."

"Good." He nodded and began to walk the short distance to his room. "Get dressed."

"Why?"

"Well," he smirked at her, "I don't care if you wear only Simon's shirt outside, but maybe it's not the best idea."

"We're going out?"

He leaned causally against his door. "Is that okay with you?" He saw her consent in her eyes and turned. Before kicking the door closed, he remarked. "Ten minutes."

She turned and shut the door behind her as she stripped out of the shirt and donned her own t-shirt.

---

"You ready to order?"

She peeked around the laminated pages of the diner's menu once more. She couldn't decide on the Belgium waffles or the stack of pancakes. They both looked so good. "Almost…" Trailing off, she bit her lip as she considered the steak and eggs.

Laughter shook him silently. Rory was an open book in most regards. He had watched her debate over breakfast choices over the last fifteen minutes, seeing the flex of her lean muscles as she flipped back and forth between the pages. "I'm pretty hungry, you know?" He teased her gently.

Rory actually appeared sheepish. "Yeah."

The waiter appeared with the usual pad of paper and a bored expression on his face. "What will it be?"

Jess reached across the table for her menu, cutting her off before she had the chance to speak up. "We'll have the Belgium waffles, the famous stack of pancakes, and the sunny side up eggs with bacon. Two glasses of orange juice and a cup of coffee. Oh, and half a grapefruit." Smirking, he met Rory's surprised gaze. "Anything else, sweetheart?"

She fought a grin. "Nope."

The waiter disappeared with a roll of his eyes.

Jess laid a casual arm along the back of the booth, watching Rory with eagle eyes. "What?"

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

She leaned on the table, elbows spread. "Know what I want before I even know myself."

He grimaced. _Shit_, but that was a weighty statement wrapped in the innocence of her simple question. "You stared at the menu long enough."

She rubbed her eyes, making her freckles stand out even more on the bridge of her nose. "I couldn't decide."

"Yeah; saw that." He liked her like this. Pale, disheveled, and devoid of any makeup to mar her clean skin. This was as close as he was going to get to see what she looked like in the mornings, sleepy and sated. Only he knew painfully well that he didn't put that bemused expression on her face. His best friend did.

The food arrived and she eagerly dug into the nearest plate. "This is good."

He smiled softly. "I'm glad you like it."

"Here, try." She pushed the pancakes over to him.

"No it's okay, you enjoy."

The waiter reappeared with the orange juice and coffee, with a half a grapefruit in a bowl. Jess took it and dug in with a spoon. Rory stopped and watched. "That's all you're eating?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you order all that food then?"

"It made you happy, didn't it?"

All of a sudden, her appetite vanished. Why did he have to do that? Say those things that were so kind, throwing her off? She pushed the plates away.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't say stuff like that." She dropped her gaze and her voice. "Please stop."

Thoroughly confused, he tried to catch her eyes. "Stop what?"

"Don't be nice."

He chuckled. "Didn't you complain before that I was rude and arrogant beyond compare?"

"Yes, but it's easier to hate you."

"Ah." He leaned back against the booth. They sat in silence for minutes, five, ten, he lost count. Somewhere along the way, he ran a shaky hand through his hair and released an uneven breath. "It's not fair." He mumbled. Fixing his stare on her, he continued. "Did you know that I owe Simon my entire career?"

"What?"

He grunted. "Yeah. I didn't have the start up to even focus on my manuscript at the time. And when I finally finished it, it was rough, unpolished, and in desperate need of editing. But I couldn't afford it, and there wasn't a publishing agency in the city that would give me the time of day. Simon's dad worked in PR and he was the one who got me some appointments. If it weren't for Simon, I'd still be doing god knows what, with my books nothing more than a string of meaningless words."

She nodded. "That's why you're so loyal."

He snorted. "Simon's loyal. I'm betraying his trust every time I look at you."

His blunt words cut her beyond comprehension. "I doubt it's to that extreme."

"That's because you have no idea what's running through my head."

"Oh."

His eyes sharpened at once. "You're no good for Simon. I meant what I said a while back."

Suddenly, every compassionate thought she had for Jess flew out the window. "Fuck you."

He bit his lip. "Don't tempt me."

"If I'm so not suited for Simon, then why are you even bothering?"

"I said you're no good for Simon. I never said anything about _me_."

Her breath caught in a bubble, midway between her throat and her mouth. "You just want something you can't have."

"That's for damn sure."

She became disgusted. "You don't want me, you want what Simon has."

A harsh laugh exploded. "That's where you're wrong, sweetheart. Simon has the girlfriend, I want the woman."

"You just want to get laid."

"Yeah, that would be nice."

Her face was murderous. "Then go out and find one of your leggy conquests and leave me out of it."

"Rory." His voice was subtle and demanding. "Aren't you tired?"

"Tired of what?"

"Of being something you're obviously not. I've seen you with Simon; you let him lead you around, almost like a trophy. Not that he does it consciously. Simon's a gentleman, through and through. But I've never seen you disagree with him on anything. He obviously doesn't challenge you, 'cause you damn well don't challenge him."

"If I'm _so_ bad for Simon, why don't you just convince him to break up with me, then?"

His eyes became hard. "I won't do that."

"I don't get it. Why is Simon so loyal to you?"

Jess gave a humorless grin. "That's something you have to ask Simon himself."

---

She did. Later that night, as they were snuggled in bed with only the bedside light on, legs entwined, she drew her fingertip across his broad chest. "Simon?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you so close with Jess? What's the reason behind it?"

Simon stiffened. "Why do you ask?"

Rory glanced up at his softened features. He was so handsome, no one would deny it. He was classically beautiful, as much as a man could get. But he lacked flaws. He didn't have a single freckle or scar on his face or his body, except for the calluses on his fingers from years of school. "Just…curious."

"You still don't like him?"

She ignored the question. "Why are you so loyal to him? It goes beyond the normal confines of friendship. You two are loyal to a fault. It's almost blind devotion."

He swallowed, rubbing her bare shoulders almost compulsively. "Jess…saved my life once."

That was the last thing she expected. Rory sat up, unconscious of the fact that the sheet dropped to her waist, baring her chest to the cold air. "What?"

"It sounds clichéd, doesn't it? But yeah…Jess saved my life. We were at a local bar. I was pretty buzzed. Not stumbling drunk, but enough where my eyes were glassy and I had a hard time focusing. I wanted to go back to the apartment, Jess didn't. I left earlier and was mugged on the way home. The guy had a knife…" He trailed off briefly, his eyes hazing over at the memories. "I had spent all my remaining cash on my bar tab. The guy got angry and he started to push the knife closer to my throat. I really thought that was it."

Rory sat there, crossed legged in disbelief. Jess had hid behind his insults and charming smiles, never showing a compassionate glance at anyone. She was only beginning to understand the depth of Simon and Jess's friendship.

He continued, unaware of her flurry of emotions. "Jess had left soon after me, wanting to make sure that I got home okay. He saw us in the alley and came up behind the guy. The mugger was surprised to say the least. He knifed Jess just below the ribs right before Jess punched him hard enough to knock him unconscious. I dragged Jess to the nearest hospital. I had never been so scared before. And it wasn't even the mugging that had me shaking, it was the fact that I had Jess bleeding on me." Simon blinked, shaking his head as if to clear away the memory. "And that's the whole sob story." By the time he finished, Simon regained his easy smile and disarming charm. "Sounds straight out of a soap opera, doesn't it? Or least a poorly made for TV movie."

"No."

He smiled and mistook her expression for concern. "I'm fine. Jess is fine. He stayed in the hospital for a few days, nothing serious. The wound didn't nick anything major."

"Was that before or after you got Jess a publisher?"

Simon's smile vanished. "He told you that?"

"Yeah, over breakfast this morning."

"Jess has talent. It was clear, even to me. But no one wanted to read the work of an unknown. And I owed him my life. I convinced my dad to finance Jess's first book." He pulled Rory closer to his body, feeling her bare breasts rub against his chest. "Jess doesn't know that. He thinks I found him an editor and that the editor knew of a publisher."

"You paid to get his first book published?"

He dismissed her awe with a vague shrug. "My family has money. My grandfather owned a very successful company, and my dad was the CEO of a good PR firm downtown. We could afford it. But I never told Jess that."

"He never found out?"

Simon shrugged. "If he did, he never said so." He rearranged their legs so that she fitted snugly against him. "It all worked out. Look at him now; he's earning more than he knows what to do with. That devil was praised from here to high heaven for his last novel. Did you know that?" Simon's words burst with emotion. He sounded like every proud parent.

Her voiced lowered as she felt the brush of his erection against her thigh. "Yeah. I've read his stuff. It's good." Feeling him nod against her, she snuggled closer, not knowing what else to do. He brushed a gentle kiss behind her ear, running his other hand down the sides of her body. Smiling, she rolled him onto his back, and gazed down at him from above. His teasing smile was in place as he smoothed his hands up her body, cupping the shallow weight of her breasts. The sheets pooled around her waist and she nudged his erection to the place she wanted as she lifted up on her knees to take him in. He sighed in sleepy pleasure.

But when she came, she pictured brown eyes instead of bright blue ones. And when she felt Simon groan out his own climax, she knew that he wasn't going to be the great love in her life. Simon was nice and perfectly adequate. In the silence of the dark room and the comforting arms of her boyfriend, she realized that she wasn't the person Simon was looking for. And she vaguely came to the fact that Simon already knew that as well.

---

He was sitting at the kitchen table the next morning typing like a madman. Nothing could disturb him, not the pounding against the walls signaling his neighbor's complaint about the loud music, the rumble of hunger in his stomach, and not even Simon's early departure for the office an hour ago.

She watched him. So this was the picture of Jess Mariano hard at work. She came up to the table, circling him like prey. "Why did you make it sound like you were the one in debt to Simon, when it's obviously not the case?"

His eyes looked up but his fingers didn't stop. "He told you." Finishing the last of the paragraph, he snapped the laptop shut. He reached for the cup of cold tea at his side, and took a sip.

"Yeah, he told me."

Jess leaned back in the chair, tipping the front legs up and off the ground. "Simon's a proud man. It wasn't my story to tell. If he wanted to tell you, it was his prerogative, not mine."

She absorbed the impact of his statement. "When you said that I was no good for Simon—"

"Look, I probably shouldn't have—"

Rory cut him off in turn. "No. You say what you mean. If there's one thing I've learned about you is that you're honest to the point of insulting."

He chuckled. "I'm not that honest, believe me."

"Well, whether or not that's true, you meant what you said about me and Simon."

"Yes, I did."

Rory sat down on an adjacent chair. "When you said it, were you speaking for him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" She bit her thumbnail. "Does he think I'm no good for him?"

He swallowed another bitter taste of lukewarm tea. Getting up, he walked into the kitchen. "I never said that."

"No, you didn't. I'm asking you now."

"Why?"

"Just answer me, damn it!"

He didn't rise to her anger. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this."

She had never known Jess to back out of a conversation before, and the fact that he was doing it now only enraged her further. "Like hell we shouldn't. You've turned me life upside down, do you know that? I have the safe boyfriend. He's kind and good-looking. He's caring in a way that's almost uncanny. He's respectful of women and he's practically every girl's dream!"

Just as she wanted, he got angry. Snagging her waist, he pulled her tightly against him. "What the fuck do you hope to accomplish by telling me all that?"

"Simon's perfect, damn it! He's perfect, and all I can think about is how he's no good for me. How _I'm_ no good for him. All I can think about is the way you stare at me so intensely that it makes me want to run away. The fact that you know what I want to say before I even do scares me. And when Simon touches me, all I can think about is you! You and your cheap one-night stands that parade through the apartment almost every night. Simon's the better man but I can't help but want the less than perfect one instead!" Her chest heaved with an ache that was beyond words.

His jaw slackened but his grip on her waist remained steady. "Take that back." Jess's words trembled and it frightened him.

"You got what you wanted, didn't you? You made me realize I was with the wrong guy. Are you happy now?"

He didn't know if he was happy or just happily standing in hell. What was going on? He had pushed her; yes, he had pushed her so far. But what was _this_? "I…"

Rory rose up on her toes and caught his lips between hers in an angry kiss. She wanted him to pay. Pay for ruining a good relationship between her and Simon. She wanted him to understand just what she was giving up. She needed to feel Jess against her again, pressed up the length of him until she felt the evidence of his arousal. She wanted to hurt him just as much as he hurt her. But she wanted to understand…she wanted to know just why Jess was so intensely private. Just why did he hide behind his hordes of females and his work? Why did he feel like he didn't deserve what Simon freely pursued? A steady relationship, a girlfriend, and…love.

Jess responded instantly, his body coming to terms with what his brain couldn't comprehend. His rational side couldn't understand what the hell was happening, but his body knew all too well. He opened his mouth wide and felt her bite down on his lower lip, he grimaced, but let her do as she pleased. She was venting out her frustration on him, and he had no control over it. He didn't want to control her. He wanted her. All of her.

She threaded fingers through his messy brown hair, marking him as her own. She had a desperate need to claim him just as much as he did her. Pressed up against him, she tilted her head back to accommodate the weight of his kiss. He bent forward and cupped his large hands below her bottom, bringing her higher and harder against his body. Jess pulled her up, hands below her hips, and lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and wound her arms around his neck.

Suddenly, Rory became too heavy for him. Her kiss was distracting him too much. Groping for the surface of the counter, he started to set her on the stainless steel, but she clenched her legs tighter around his waist. Grinding into his hips, the seam of her jeans pressed just right against his erection. He staggered and felt her back thump against the refrigerator instead. Magnets jolted from their peaceful existence on the face of the fridge and dropped with a clatter. One of the glass ones shattered at their feet.

She was too much for him to hold up. Slipping, he bent down and continued his assault as he hovered over her on the tiles of the kitchen floor. Fast, cold hands dug at his simple black t-shirt. She pulled it over his head and he felt the scrape of her nails against his back. With his eyes screwed shut, he kissed her harder, thrusting his tongue in time with their hips. His lips were already feeling chapped, bruised under the pressure of her fuller ones, but he couldn't stop. A choked sound escaped from the back of her throat and he blindly felt for the strap of her tank top. Tugging down with more force than necessary, he heard the slight ripping of seams. He pushed aside the thin cotton of her bra and rolled the hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

She arched up and searched for the buckle of his belt. Using both hands to undo it, she groped for the zipper of his jeans, not taking notice of the fact that he had moved his lips down to her neck, nipping the curve of her shoulder. Jess took her breast into his mouth, creating a hot suction while his free hand continued to tease the other one. She keened up into his mouth, feeling the scrape of his teeth on the underside of her breast. Rory was distracted and her hands came up to his chest instead of finishing the undoing of his pants. She stroked his nipples, watching in delight as he gulped in air. She kissed the tightness of his neck, his muscles straining as he met her mouth once again.

Their chests rubbed together, feeling hot skin on skin contact. He hissed and bent down further to take the other breast into his mouth. Tongue and teeth teased her while his hand trailed down her body. He pressed the heel of his palm against the seam of her jeans, pressing until she cried out. He kissed her neck, sucking the throbbing vein as she rubbed against his hand, seeking for the elusive climax. He altered the positioning of his hand slightly, and suddenly she was there, grasping for air at the same time she reached out for his body. He came up to oblige her, nuzzling her chest and then the sides of her neck gently as she rode the waves of her orgasm.

When Rory finally came to, her eyes cleared and she felt him lay down beside her on the hard tile. Gathered up in his arms, she looked up at him, fearful of his reaction. But his face was blank, save for the brief flicker of concern that danced across his brown eyes. He was beginning to regret this and she knew it. "Jess?"

He sat them up, but didn't release her from his arms. He rubbed her back in a gentle caress and tucked up her fallen tank top strap. "This was wrong." She reached out for him, shaky fingers coming into contact with the warmth of his chest. He caught her questing hands between his steady ones, and brought them to his lips. He brushed a single kiss in the center of her palm. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Please forgive me."

That was so unlike the Jess she'd come to know that it scared her. She watched with dread as he got up, knees cracking as he stood. She saw him disappear behind the counter, the sharp click of his bedroom door signaling his departure. Rory licked her dry lips and rubbed her weary eyes. Standing, she tore off a single sheet of paper towel and bent down as she gently picked up the broken glass of the fallen magnet. Rounding up the rest of the silver magnets, she stood again, feeling the wobbly effects of her climax. Locking her knees, she replaced them to the best of her memory. Each slap of metal on metal resounded in her ears. When she finished, she went to retrieve her purse from the couch, where she had left it last night. Shouldering the bag, she left the apartment without another glance.

He listened for the lock of the front door. When he knew for certain that she was gone, he opened his own door, watching in brooding silence, staring at nothing.

---

"You okay?"

Jess glanced over at his friend from the other side of the small café table. "Yeah."

"You seem quiet." Realizing what he just said, Simon smirked. "More than usual."

Taking the packet of cigarettes out of his back pocket, Jess pounded it against his open palm. "Huh."

"What the hell is that?" Simon reached for the cigarettes but Jess pulled them away.

"What do you think?"

A blond head shook in disgust. "You quit years ago. Do I have to show you the pictures of the black lungs again?" Over five years ago, Simon had made it is own personal crusade to make Jess quit smoking. He used every trick in the book. Simon bought the patch, the gum, hypnosis tapes, and herbs. He gathered medical journals filled with gruesome pictures. He intervened Jess and his smoking habits. Simon had gone to great lengths to rid his friend of his filthy habit. The only thing that worked? Simon promised to pay rent all by himself for a year. Jess quit cold turkey the very next day.

"No, don't bother with the pictures."

"Well fuck, I want my money back then."

Jess chuckled but didn't light up. "A deal's a deal. I quit."

"Obviously not if you're smoking again."

"I'm not."

"Then what are those? Candy?"

"Nervous habit." Jess mumbled.

Simon sipped at his ice-tea and watched the people walking on the sidewalk. "What's going on with you, Mariano?"

Jess's eyes glazed over and he steeled his body for what was inevitable. "I kissed Rory."

A long moment passed between friends. Simon took a deep breath and played with his fork. Quietly, he spoke. "Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"Well, I guessed." He speared the remains of the chicken on his plate. "Rory's been adamant about not coming back to the apartment with me. And when we have sex, she's totally out of it."

Jess clenched his jaw at that last part.

"And you've been weird lately. Plus the fact that there hasn't been a woman in your room for the last two weeks was practically a first." He paused and tried to make light of the situation. "Except for the time you had your tonsils out." Unable to make the joke ease the tension, Simon stared at Jess with unforgiving eyes. "I'm not an idiot. I knew something was up between the two of you."

"We didn't sleep together."

Simon nodded. "I know. You'd never go as far as that." He curled his fingers around his tall glass, knuckles turning pale against the darker color of his ice tea. "I _told_ you to stay away from her."

Their conversation was eerie. It was as if they were discussing anything beside the ultimate betrayal between friends. "I know."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." He sighed loudly.

"What is it that you want, Jess? Her? Do you want her?"

Jess sucked in a shaky breath. "Not like this."

"Like what?"

"At the cost of this." Jess gestured his hands at the space between their bodies.

Simon shrugged. "She's not the love of my life, and I'm not hers."

"Doesn't matter."

"It helps. You were right. There's something missing in her. She's pretty and interesting, I'll give her that. But there's no spark there. It's like she's waiting for someone to come and get her, but I'm not the one she wants. And she's not the one I want. I just liked being with her. It was nice. It was comfortable."

Jess picked up his spoon and clanked it around the edge of his coffee cup. "I guess. But it doesn't matter. I'm not picking up where you left off."

"Then don't think of it like that." Simon breathed in. "God knows I owe you more than something like this."

Jess's eyes snapped up. "I don't want your obligations. We both know it swung both ways."

"Do you, now?"

Jess chuckled, leaning back and watched the pedestrians on the street. "I'm not an idiot, Simon. I know you paid for my first book."

"And here I thought I was doing such a good job at keeping it secret."

"Yeah, well. Your excuse of that editor was really too thin. I knew there was no way in hell anyone could be that well connected without the greasing of some palms, somewhere."

Simon snorted. "I didn't bribe anyone."

"You very nearly did." Jess raked a hand through his hair. "In any case, what I did was wrong, despite what we've done for each other in the past. It doesn't excuse the fact that I crossed an unspoken line."

"It wasn't unspoken. I told you to keep away. I deliberately said it." Simon's brief temper flashed. He was angry at the betrayal of Jess more than anything else. It wasn't Rory they were speaking about. She was the catalyst. Simon felt betrayed by his friend, not his girlfriend.

"I know." Jess clenched his fist. "Let her go then." He dismissed the topic.

"And then what?"

"Whatever. She grows up, we forget."

Simon scowled. "She's not a kid, you know. Nearly thirty. She's only about six months younger than you."

He hadn't realized. She seemed younger. "Let's just forget about this."

"Is that what you want?"

Jess didn't answer. _It's what I needed._

"No answer?"

He shook his brown head.

Simon nodded and tapped his fork again. "I'm breaking up with her. No matter what you decide, it's not right for me to continue to be with her. I know it, she knows it, hell even _you_ know it."

"You don't have to. I mean, I know what I just said, but—"

"Of course I have to." He stood and pulled a few bills out of his wallet.

"Simon…" Jess trailed off and watched his friend don his jacket.

"I'm going to stay somewhere else tonight." He was still hurt.

Jess never felt more wretched in his life. Seeing the betrayal play so clearly across his friend's face was more than he could take. "Simon, I'm—"

"Don't say it. I know you think you are, but I don't think it's really true."

Jess remained seated, even though he wanted to leap to his feet. "I am, damn it! If I could take it back, I would."

Simon smiled a wan expression. "Why take back something you don't regret?"

"I'm sorry, Simon. I really am."

"No. You're sorry you hurt me. But you're not sorry about what happened with her." He left Jess at that.

Perhaps he had ruined forever the trust they once shared. That thought, beyond all others, sobered Jess and made him really think about how he could have ever let a woman come between him and Simon.

---

**AN: Please review after reading.**


	4. Damage

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 4: Damage

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: Thanks for the responses. Please review when you're done.  
**

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

---

Simon didn't come home for a week. It was unprecedented in their relationship. They never fought before; one of them always gave in before feelings were hurt. It was a silent agreement between the two of them. Both knew that they owed too much to each other to let petty differences wedge their friendship.

The doorbell drew Jess's attention away from his blank computer screen. Tea in hand, he shuffled his way to the door. Opening it, he almost shut it in her face. "What are you doing here?"

"Is Simon home?"

"No."

She held out her arm, holding a bag full of clothes, papers, and CDs. "I have some of his stuff. Can you make sure he gets it?"

He turned and left the door open. "Want to come in?"

"No, I probably shouldn't."

Jess smirked, despite the fact he knew he should stop talking to her. "Now that I'm finally being polite by inviting you in, you decline?"

She stepped through the threshold, but remained still. "Simon broke up with me." Rory blurted it out. "Well, we both decided it was best. Though Simon really did the dumping."

"I know."

Rory tucked her hands into her pockets. "Why am I not surprised? He told you?"

"Sorta." He sat down on the couch, not waiting for her to join.

"Did you…" She twisted her fingers together. "Did you tell him? About us?"

"What about us?"

Rory sat down with an impatient huff. "You know what."

"Yeah, he knows." Irritated as well, he brushed his fingers along the arm of the sofa. "It's why Simon's been MIA for the past week."

"He didn't seem angry when we broke up." She spoke quietly.

"That's because he's only upset with me."

"That doesn't seem fair. I was there too."

Jess chuckled without humor. "Yeah, I remember." He glanced over at her, huddled in the far corner of the sofa. "Doesn't matter. I hurt him. It was more about the fact that I betrayed him than about cheating. Simon's…a loyal guy. No doubt you knew that for yourself."

She scooted closer to Jess, wanting to reassure him. "You're a loyal friend as well." She continued even though he snorted his objection. "No, you are. You could have taken the situation further than you actually did. God knows I wasn't going to stop you at the time."

Jess laughed out loud. "How you can be such a seductive minx one minute, and then the naïve girl the next is really extraordinary, you know that?"

She blushed under his twisted compliment.

He watched her. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone blush so quickly before."

"Jess…"

"Yes?"

Rory met his eyes. "You're wrong for me." She put it bluntly.

He chuckled. "I'd be the first to agree with you there."

"You're rude and arrogant and conceited and uncaring."

"You really need to come up with some new insults for me. You've used those way too much."

Her voice became thick. "Why are you doing this, Jess?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yes you are!" Quick fingers brushed aside angry tears. "You made me want you! And now…you obviously don't want to finish what _you_ started."

Her tears angered him. He didn't know why, but they did. He didn't want to be the cause, but at the same time, he wanted someone to understand just how much he was hurting. He swallowed. "I never said that."

"It's true though, isn't it? You got what you wanted. I'm no longer with Simon, but you won't risk whatever you have left with him to be with me."

"I'm no good for you. You said it yourself."

She wanted to hit him all over again. "That doesn't stop me from _wanting_ you, damn it!"

He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. "I'm sorry."

That only made Rory even more frustrated. "I don't want you to be sorry! I don't!"

"Then what the fuck do you want?"

"I want you to _want_ me!"

Jess clenched and unclenched his fists. "I can't."

She was breaking on the inside. Why was it so hard for him to want her? She had finally found someone who wanted her to be herself, and he was rejecting her. He encouraged her; he coaxed her real personality out, and now he wanted her to trap it inside again. "Why not?"

"I just can't."

"Why?" She pressed. "Because of what you feel like you owe Simon? You guys are even. You saved him, and he saved you in return. Why can't either one of you just let it go?"

"You don't understand." He told her hoarsely.

"Then make me understand."

Jess shook his head.

"Was it all just a game to you then? Kissing me? Making me realize that I was with the wrong guy? I should have known better than to think any of it was real."

That was more than he could handle. He reached for her across the sofa, pinning her body below his. "Think what you want, but it _wasn't_ a game to me. I like it no better than you do."

"Let go of me." She struggled against his hard body.

"Isn't this what you wanted? For me to finish what I started?" His fingers crept below her shirt, seeking the bare skin of her midriff.

"Jess…" She whimpered below him.

He paused. "What?"

She bucked up against him, wanting to tell him to fuck off. But she couldn't. "Um…"

Jess let go of the tight reign of his control. He sunk down onto her willing body; fitting one leg between her parted ones. Resting bent elbows by her head, he teased her with fluttering kisses along her neck, drifting down and over her collar, touching but never settling his lips fully on her skin. Letting her feel the extent of his weight, he reached down to hook one of her legs around his waist, adjusting her until she hit his erection just right. He grasped at her shirt, pulling it over her head. Sucking her breast through the material of her bra, she groaned, wanting to feel him against her bare skin instead.

Rory nudged him aside, finding the fly of his jeans, unzipping and pushing down the dark denim with her hands. As she brushed against his hard arousal, he froze. Kicking off his pants, he went to work on her bra, finding the clasp at her back, he undid it and pushed the straps off her shoulders. He bared the skin to his eyes. His intense stare making her squirm in protest. Jess opened his mouth, wanting to reassure her, but couldn't find the words. Instead, he ducked down, swirling his hot tongue against the hardened nipple. She cried out, feeling him brush against the seam of her sex as he removed her pants.

Yanking off his t-shirt, she sat up, pressing him back. He nodded at nothing and gathered her into his arms. Forcing her to encircle his hips with her legs, he pulled her upwards, keeping her flush against his body as he staggered a few steps away from the couch. "Jess…"

"Shh. I'm not going to take you here on the couch."

Rory whimpered and caught his lips for the first time since their last kiss. But this time, his kiss was different. He had always been patient, but he wasn't anymore. He grounded her body against his, pinning her back against his bedroom door, drinking in her kiss. She gave in quicker. She was hot and ready for this. She needed this. "We didn't get this far last time. Are you sure?" Rory was nervous, biting her upper lip.

"Don't ask me that." He didn't have an answer and the throbbing all over his body made it hard for him to dwell on any single thought. He surely didn't want to think about it too deeply.

"Why?" Rory pursued. "Because I won't like what you have to say?"

Cynically, he winced. "I don't think either of us will like what I have to say."

She relented.

With his hands tight under her bottom, he maneuvered them to his bed, tumbling on top of her. He trailed a line of wet kisses down the shallow valley of her breasts, and then to the flat plane of her stomach, stopping briefly to dip his tongue into her navel. Going back up her body, he reached into her underwear, fingers tangling with the soft curls. Rory reached blindly for him, seeking him between the slit of his boxers. With a firm tug, she curled her fingers around him. He grunted and pushed aside her hands and her underwear in one quick gesture.

Fumbling into his nightstand for a condom, he ripped open the packet, unrolled it, and slid right into her. She arched her back, not accustomed to him. Once joined, it only took several quick thrusts and she was gone, wound too tightly from before to hold out any further. A couple more and he was right behind her, eyes squeezed shut and throat tight.

---

His breathing was deep and even. He knew that Rory wasn't asleep beside him. He sensed that she was staring up at the ceiling as well. They weren't touching. His head turned on his pillow, looking for her. She met his gaze. "You're gonna tell me what we just did was wrong, aren't you?"

"You know it is."

"Why?" She pushed. "I'm not with him anymore."

Jess sat up. "Stop being obtuse. You know it's wrong either way. Fact of the matter is I shouldn't have slept with you."

"Coward." She mumbled as she swung her legs over the side.

"What did you say?"

She turned, eyes unfriendly. "You heard me."

He grimaced upon hearing his own words being thrown back at him. "You're wrong."

"No, I'm not wrong. You call me a coward for being afraid to showing Simon who I really am. But _you_! You're so afraid of wanting someone, of admitting that you _need_ something, that you'll take any excuse just to stay away."

She hit it so closely on the mark it scared him. So he did what he did best—he ignored it. "Fuck you."

"You just did. Forgotten already?" She stood and zipped up her jeans. "This is so complicated, it's beyond wrong."

He sighed, not knowing what else to say. He wanted to stop her. He wanted to pull her back into his bed again. Jess wanted to feel her under, on top, beside him more. He wanted to make it last longer the second time, the third time, the hundredth time…He wanted what he couldn't have. No, he wanted what he didn't deserve.

He was no good for her. They both knew it.

She started to walk away, but he reached out and grasped her wrist. "Wha—"

Jess tugged and she tumbled back into the bed, on top of his chest. "I can't need you. I just _can't_." He whispered fervently into her hair, almost like a benediction, but he snuggled close, arms clamped down on her as if he were afraid to be alone. Given the rare glance of his struggle, she let him hold her. And she held on too, as if they wouldn't regret it later.

---

Thirty. He was thirty and had never cuddled with anyone before. Not like this. Sure, he did the prerequisite post-coital thing back when he was green with supposed innocence, but ever since twenty-two, he never allowed any woman to stay in his arms longer than ten minutes after sex.

But she was curled up in his arms her hands stroked calmly down the front of his chest. Jess sighed, wondering what any of this meant. How long had it been? An hour? Two? He lost track.

Rory stirred and he released his grip on her. "I should probably head home."

His body tightened; he didn't want to let go. Forget tomorrow; forget later on…he wanted her now. "You could stay."

She snuggled closer, nosing his bare chest with a mumble. "Is that what you want?"

Jess didn't answer. He couldn't. Instead, he drew the covers over their bodies and sunk down further into his mattress.

---

When he awoke, sunlight was streaming in through his windows, and she was gone. Throwing his head back onto his pillow, he tried to recall the last time he was left alone in bed after a night with a woman. He couldn't remember. Something inside him always made him wake up first. He needed to be in control that way.

Rubbing at his tired eyes, he glanced down at the empty space beside him. The sheet dropped and pooled at his waist. He reached out and grabbed the post-it note on top of his alarm clock. In a loopy scrawl, she had written—_Figure out what you want._

He balled up the note and threw it in the direction of the wastebasket, missing his mark.

---

Simon came back the next day, as quietly as he had left. If there was something different about him, he didn't voice it. Instead, he perched on the kitchen counter, shoulders hunched, looking very much like an angelic gargoyle, keeping watch over nothing. Jess came around and searched for his mug in the pantry.

Simon sipped at his coffee. "Dinner tonight?"

Jess stopped with his hand partially on the teapot of boiling water. Not looking back, he nodded. "Sure."

Each man regarded the other wearily. But a truce was called.

---

The doorbell rang, and she padded slowly towards the noise. Looking through the peephole, she was surprised at the face that greeted her. Opening the door, she leaned to one side. "Simon, hi."

He smiled his charming smile. "Heya Rory."

She backed up, allowing him room to slide past her. "What's going on? Everything okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it's all right. You?"

Rory shrugged.

Simon laughed sympathetically. "Yeah."

She bit her lip but went into the kitchen, making sure that Simon felt welcomed to follow. "This is awkward." She fiddled around with the fridge, hunting for something to drink. "Simon." She turned. "I just wanted to say sorry. I really am."

He lifted his hand. "No, don't be. It was fun while it lasted, yeah?"

She grinned.

"But we both knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. I really shouldn't have kept it going for as long as I did. But it was nice and I didn't want to loose it just yet."

"Me neither." She swallowed. "So, we're…okay?"

"Yeah, suppose so." Simon was easy that way. Apologize, and he saw the light. So different from Jess. You could beat Jess over the head with a two by four and he'd still stick to his guns. Rory didn't know whether to respect him for that or throttle him.

"I never meant to come between the two of you."

Simon leaned against her kitchen counter. "I know. We know."

"But I still did."

He nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Jess may be a selfish guy, but he's a loyal friend." The heat behind her words was unexpected.

Simon's glance flickered. "And that makes you angry?"

"I don't what it makes me feel." She paused. "This is all very embarrassing."

"Why?"

Rory jerked her head up. It sounded so much like Jess. In that moment, she saw a startling similarity between the two men. They both had a tendency to question authority, among other things, with a simple 'why.' It was like talking to a child who didn't trust any of the accepted wisdom. "It just is. I mean you were my boyfriend. And Jess…well, he's your best friend." She hesitated. "He still is, isn't he?"

Simon scowled. "Of course he is."

"Just checking."

"Jess and I may not be on the best of terms right now, but I'm not throwing away over seven years of friendship for nothing."

Rory flinched as if he had burned her.

He was immediately contrite. "Sorry. Didn't mean to imply you're nothing."

"It's okay, I know what you meant." She gestured to the chair. "Sit down, please. Coffee?"

"Sure." He watched her dart around the kitchen, assembling two mugs full of dark liquid.

"Why did you come here today?" She set down a steaming mug before him.

He took it between his large palms. "Rory, there are some things you should know about Jess."

She squinted. "Okay, this is getting creepy. Simon, you're a nice guy, probably too nice to be real, but this is really beyond the diction of what is supposed to happen."

Simon looked shy and affronted at the same time. He knew he was a nice guy. He prided himself on that fact, but it didn't make it any easier for him to swallow what was going on around him. "Rory, do you think I like what's happening?" He raised his voice just a fraction. "I don't! Just because we both know we weren't meant to be together doesn't make it any easier to see you with my best friend."

She recoiled. Taking a breath, Rory spoke quietly. "But I'm not with Jess."

Simon lowered his voice back to normal. "You know what I mean."

"He doesn't want to be with me, in any case. So we don't have to talk about this."

He caught her hand across the table. "No. We _do_ need to talk."

Angry, she shook off his touch. "What else could there be left to say? I kissed your best friend. I ruined your friendship!"

Simon watched her, eyes not entirely unkind. He knew it was hard on all three of them. No one was hurting any less. But he hadn't known Rory as long as he'd known Jess. So despite everything, he still sided with his friend more than this woman. He knew Rory was torn, but Simon knew she was tearing up Jess beyond words. "Rory." His voice was firm. "You owe me at least to sit down to hear me out."

What was it with these two men and loyalty and debt? God, she had never met any two friends who were so intricately bound to each other. But she sat nonetheless. "Okay."

Simon looked uncomfortable, but he continued, in a voice she recognized as his 'lawyer voice.' It was dignified and commanding. It allowed no room for discussion. "I didn't come here to convince you to be with Jess."

How odd that he should start out like that. At any rate, even if he could convince both her _and_ Jess, she doubted that she wanted to even trouble herself in such a sticky situation anymore.

"Jess is…"

"Unpolished?" She filled in the gap, using the word Simon himself had used when he first described his friend to her.

He gave a harsh laugh. "Yeah. That's to put it lightly. He's such a jaded bastard. How he even got like that, I have no idea. For as much as I know, Jess has never been burned by love. Or by any woman. Hell, that guy has never had a serious girlfriend."

"What?"

Simon laughed, a deep rumble. "Jess has never had a serious girlfriend. I don't even think that guy has ever had a girlfriend. Period."

"That's impossible. Look at all those women he brings back to your apartment."

Simon's eyes narrowed. "Sex. It's for sex. Jess knows it and those women know it. They might try to squeeze something else out of him, but he doesn't give false hope to anyone. They know what he wants. Release. They give it. Freely. Don't condemn the guy just because there are plenty of loose women who are willing to follow him to bed."

This part of Simon frightened her. She had never heard him speak so crudely about women. It was almost like listening to Jess, but it was Simon's bright blue eyes that stared back at her instead. Rory almost shuddered. "Yeah, well." She couldn't help from keeping the bitter tone away. "He has enough women to start a small country."

Simon chuckled. "Yeah. You're probably right. Jess has a way with women. I've seen it for myself. It's uncanny."

"That's for sure." Rory mumbled.

Sobering, Simon paused. "Jess doesn't believe in love."

That struck her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her chest. "Oh."

"I'm sorry, Rory. It's the truth. I don't know what to say." He toyed with the handle of the mug. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Embittered, she bit out, "So you came here to warn me? What's the deal with the two of you? Him, warning me about how I'm no good for you. And now you! You, warning me that your friend doesn't believe in love."

"It's not a warning. It's the truth. And I didn't come here solely for your benefit, Rory." He reached out and tilted her chin up to look at him. "I don't agree with Jess. Anyone can see that. I want to fall in love. And I have. I don't regret any of it. But he doesn't want to ever go through what I did." He looked away, staring at nothing in particular.

"If you don't agree, then what are you doing?"

Simon's eyes sharpened. "It doesn't matter how much I disagree with him. He doesn't want it. Do you get it? Do you?" He almost reached out to shake her, but he didn't. "He doesn't believe, and I won't make him. But I won't see him hurt. I _won't_."

That was the heart of the matter. Despite all the betrayal, all that had come to pass, Simon was here to make sure that Rory didn't hurt Jess. Because she knew, in the end, their friendship reigned supreme. It ranked above family, responsibilities, and women. It really was inconceivable how the two stuck together. The amount of affection held between the two men was mind-boggling.

It was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Simon was here to make sure she didn't hurt _Jess_? She got angry; more so than she had ever allowed Simon to see before. "How dare you come here to accuse me of hurting Jess? What gives you any right to say that to me? Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

The vehemence of her words shocked Simon. He had never seen her loose her temper, certainly not to his degree. But Simon was reluctant to let go. He couldn't. For Jess's sake. "Jess is my best friend. _That_ alone gives me the right."

"You guys are like _one_ person! Did you know that he said the same thing to me? How can either one of you ever expect to fall in love when no woman could _ever_ begin to compare to your friendship? No wonder Jess hides behind his women! No wonder you're always left alone. This is what's wrong with the two of you. Your friendship is so strong that no woman alive could ever be good enough for either of you. It doesn't matter how perfect or flawed the woman is. She will _never_ be good enough."

Simon's jaw clenched at the fury of her words. How deeply they cut into his skin. He refused to recognize the truth in her statements. He absolutely refused. It supposed to be friends before girls. Watching her eyes flash before him, he got a glimpse of what must have captured his best friend. There was no doubt that this was the Rory whom Jess saw. Simon could never peel away her polite manners enough to see this raw and emotional Rory. It was Jess who had been able to strip away her carefully constructed pretenses. But Jess had done so with all the precision and delicacy of a bulldozer. He had plowed her down, with no regard for what was left behind. And now that he had removed her façade, Simon could see that Rory didn't know what to do. She didn't belong behind her mask anymore. But she also didn't belong in front of the world, alone.

"Get out." Rory stood and went to open the door.

Simon relented, but when he passed her, he paused. "Don't come near us again if you mean to hurt him. Do you hear me?"

This time, Simon really did scare her. She was afraid, but refused to let it show. "Fuck you Simon."

"No thanks." He shut the door behind him.

---

"Did you sleep with her?"

Jess choked on his forkful of spaghetti. "What?"

"You heard me." Simon reached for the television remote to turn off the CNN news report. "Did you sleep with her?"

Jess clenched. "Yes."

"When?"

"When you were gone for the week."

Simon swallowed, not knowing what to do with the information. He had suspected, of course he did, but he didn't know how to process the absolute fact. "And?"

"And what?"

Simon glared.

Jess glared back.

It was a game of chicken. It was a game that both men played with great skill to their own advantage.

Simon blinked slowly and forfeited.

Jess dropped his gaze as well, spearing his meatball with more force than necessary.

"Was it worth it?" Simon stared at him.

Jess didn't know how to respond. _Was it worth it?_ He wanted to say no. Nothing was worth the loss of Simon's complete and faithful trust. But he couldn't. "Yes."

Simon tensed and suddenly swung his fist. Straight into Jess's jaw. Almost toppling in his chair, Jess fought to control the instinct to raise his hands in protection. He would take whatever Simon gave him.

Jess clutched his jaw and calmly stared up at his friend. "Feel better?"

Simon's chest heaved, but his breathing returned back to normal. "Yes."

"Good."

Simon sat back down. "Why her?"

"Why not?" Jess's walls were up. This was how he protected his heart. He refused questions that were too close to home. He was sarcastic, surly, and rude.

"Why her, Jess?" Simon raised his voice. "Was it just because she was my girlfriend?"

"No. Don't give yourself so much credit."

That seemed to soothe Simon. "Then what was it?"

Jess met Simon's gaze with a murderous one of his own. "It just _is_! I wish it wasn't her! By God, I want to take everything back. But I can't. I just can't."

Simon slumped in his chair with all the grace of a winded horse. "Make me understand, Jess." _Make me trust you again._

"She's a different woman."

"How original." Simon rolled his eyes.

Jess sneered. "_No_. Not like that. She's a different person with you. That's why I knew she was never going to make you happy. Not in the long run, in any case." He rubbed at the bruise that was certainly forming on his jaw. "It's insane how she's different. It's unreal."

It was the Rory he saw when she got mad in her apartment. Simon was right. It was that Rory his best friend saw. It was the Rory that came out for no one but Jess. "You see it when she gets upset."

Jess narrowed his eyes. "Usually, yes. How did you know?"

"I saw it for myself."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I saw her. Today."

"Why?" Jess practically snarled.

"Why the hell do you think?

"I don't know anymore."

Simon struggled to his feet, dumping his half-eaten plate into the sink.

Jess followed. "No doubt you warned her about me."

The blond man whirled around, teeth bared. "I warned _her_ away from you. No matter what you might think, Jess, I'm not a selfish bastard."

"Like me, you mean?"

"You're not one either." Simon watched Jess move around the kitchen, replacing clean dishes back into their rightful place in the glass cupboard. "Jess—"

"—I'm not good enough for her." His hand was clenched around a pristine white bowl.

Simon shrugged it off, knowing it was the only response that wouldn't set his friend off. "Yeah, you're probably right."

---

It was well past any decent hour. At half past three, he had a sinking feeling that this would prove to be a sleepless night. Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he rubbed at his sore eyes, knowing that they were bloodshot. Walking barefoot, he winced at the feeling of the cold flooring beneath his toes. Slipping quietly into the hallway, he was surprised to find Simon hunched the same position he had first found him upon his return: perched up on top of the granite countertop, looking like a little boy instead of a grown man of thirty-one. As Jess walked by, Simon's eyes flickered to his jaw. Jess smirked. "Admiring your handiwork?"

Even in the dim lighting it was apparent that a distinctive bruise, almost purple, was beginning to form. Simon chuckled. "Of course."

"Who taught you how to throw a punch like that anyways?"

"You. From all those years of watching you."

Jess laughed. "You pay too much attention."

"And you fight dirty." Simon swung his long legs, occasionally bumping the base cabinets.

Jess pretended to be ignorant. "Is there any other way?"

Simon snickered. "For you? No."

"Yeah well," Jess looked suddenly serious. "Don't learn that from me."

For the next quarter hour, both men sipped their relative mugs, not uttering a sound. Jess walked over to the windows that extended almost from floor to ceiling, looking out at the sparse population below. It didn't matter that it was three in the morning the city was always bustling with activity. New York kept it's own time, apart from the rest of the world. Jess loved that about the city. Simon always wondered why the people of New York couldn't learn to slow down, even though he was guilty of maintaining the same breakneck pace of his other fellow city dwellers.

Simon cracked his knuckles and Jess stiffened at the sound. It was a clear signal; Simon was nervous. Jess cleared his throat but didn't look away from the window. "Is there something you want to say to me Cannon?"

"What if I told you it didn't matter to me?"

"What doesn't matter?"

"You. Rory."

Jess chanced a single glance over his shoulder. "I'd say you're a bad liar. No wonder you suck at poker."

"This isn't about her and you know it."

Jess sighed. "I know. It's about you and me. And the fact that you no longer trust me." He uttered the last part, almost afraid to hear Simon confirm the fact.

"If that were true, we'd no longer be roommates."

"Hm." Jess mulled over Simon's last statement. "But it's no longer the same."

"No. Of course not."

"It won't ever be the same again, will it?" Jess faced his friend.

"No, I don't think so."

It felt like there was a block ice in the pit of his stomach. "That's too bad."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Simon stood and walked in the direction of his room. Paused with his hand on the doorknob, he spoke. "If you want to be with her, the damage is already done, so there's nothing to loose in that respect. And if you don't want to be with her, fine."

Despite all the tension, Jess reverted to an old joke. "Is that what Simon says?"

For once, he didn't laugh. "Make your own decisions, Jess. It's about time."

"Been doing that since I was old enough to zip my own pants." He remarked wirily.

"Well, make this decision with your head, not your cock."

Jess rolled his eyes. "If you have something to say to me, I suggest you take the opportunity to say it now, while I'm paying attention."

"Are you paying attention?" He threw the question back at Jess.

"No."

Simon's features turned stone hard. "Don't play around with her. It won't end well."

"Just who are you protecting, Cannon?"

"I don't want you to get hurt. Well, at least not without knowing exactly what you're getting yourself into. I didn't damn well step aside just to see you hurt this girl either."

"Stepping aside? Is that what you call it?"

"Call it whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is, I'm no longer with her."

Jess knew he was being unreasonable, but he didn't care. Not at that moment. "You weren't good together."

"That's not the point."

Jess didn't like to be pitied. He was a proud man. "I'm not taking your leftovers."

"You weren't refusing them when she was in your bed." Simon became crude, knowing it was the only way to make Jess see. Like he said, Jess fought dirty and it was the only way to fight with him.

It stung because it was the truth. Heading back to his room, Jess didn't even flinch as he heard Simon's door slam across the hall.

---

**AN: Please review after reading.**


	5. Housebroken

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 5: Housebroken

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **I know...it's been a long time. But, here it is. You might wanna refresh your memory by reading the previous chapter(s) before this one, C5 follows immediately after C4.

Enjoy and review when you're done.

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

---

He threw himself into his work. It was the only thing he knew that would help. The next morning, Simon appeared, his power suit pressed to perfection. Appearing in front of Jess at the kitchen table, he held out a business card between his thumb and forefinger. "Here."

Jess looked, but didn't touch. "What's that?"

"Take it."

He did. "Okay." He flipped it and saw the elegant letterpress of _Lorelai Gilmore_ on the front and Simon's usual neat engineer script on the back. "What the hell is this?"

"It's a business card."

_Duh_. "Yes, I can see that. Who's Lorelai Gilmore? A lady of the evening?"

Simon laughed out loud. "It's _Rory_."

The card twirled between lean fingers and he tested her name on his tongue. "Lorelai. Is that like a penname?"

"It's her real name."

"Huh. What am I supposed to do with this?"

Simon grabbed his usual travel mug and filled it to the brim with coffee. "Whatever."

Mumbling to himself, Jess began to scowl. "I'm really starting to hate that word."

"What?" Simon busied himself with a Pop-Tart.

"Nothing. Why did you give this to me?"

"So that you have everything you need to make your decision."

"Why are you pushing this?"

Simon bit into his breakfast, swearing under his breath as the hot filling scalded his tongue. "Because you need to settle this once and for all. I'm not waiting forever."

"What the hell are _you_ waiting for?"

"To trust you again." His remark was so flippant that it surprised both men.

Jess stood. "Is this a test?"

"No; but you and I both know that this," Simon gestured between them, "won't resolve itself until you deal with whatever you've got with Rory."

"Am I supposed to give up the girl to have my friend back?" Jess mused out loud.

Simon shrugged. "I don't know. Are you?" He was smart enough not to point out that Jess had inadvertently admitted that he wanted Rory.

---

"Hey."

Her eyes narrowed. "How did you find out where I lived?"

"Simon."

Rory pursed her lips. "Why are you here?"

"Aren't you usually more polite than that?" He leaned against her front door.

She snorted indelicately. "With you, being rude is all that works."

Jess chuckled ruefully. "Sad but true."

"Why are you here?" She wasn't going to be sidetracked by his roundabout ways of conversation.

"Can I come in?" He pushed away from the wall, evenly distributing his weight on his feet.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?" He crossed his arms.

Rory mirrored his actions. "I don't need a reason."

"Unless the answer is that you've got a man in your bed as we speak, nothing you can say will make me go away."

She frowned at his crudeness and peered into his eyes. Was he jealous? "Fine. Ten minutes." She left the door open but otherwise walked back into the apartment, arms tucked protectively under her chest.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "A lot can happen in that time."

"Are you planning for a lot to happen?" She threw his words back at him.

Jess sighed and closed the door gently behind him. "Look, can we start over?"

"Okay, do you wanna go back out into the hallway?"

He chuckled. "You won't get rid of me that easily, sweetheart."

"It was worth a shot." Her words were crisp, but her demeanor relaxed. Rory turned and caught sight of his jaw from a side angle, the light hitting the bruise just right to highlight the dark coloring. "What happened to your face?"

Jess grinned. "Simon's fist."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Jess looked around, gauging his surroundings. "Your apartment is small."

"Comes with a roommate too."

"That sucks."

"Yeah well, we can't all be authors of a best-seller." She was familiar enough with him to realize that when it came to things that were important, Jess never came out and said anything. He usually said whatever he felt like without a moment's hesitation, but only with things that had little or no consequence. It was an odd mix of personality; that a man as blunt as Jess would have the need to skirt about a topic that contained actual weight.

"Guess not." He peeked out the window, noticing the gathering of dark clouds. Without warning, he gave out a hollow laugh. "I didn't recognize your last name when Simon handed me your card. Or your first name for that matter. The legal one."

She just stared.

"I don't know a single thing about you. I don't even know what you do for a living," he paused to regain his bearings. He counted off more items, as if making a grocery list. "I don't know where you grew up, or how you came to New York. I don't know whether or not you've ever swam in the ocean, what you're allergic to, or whether you like to shower in the morning or night. I don't know why you felt the need to hide who you are from Simon, or why you ever let me kiss you that first night. I have no fucking clue about the first practical thing about you."

Rory opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

"—But I know what it feels like to be inside you."

She blushed.

"And I know that I've made a mistake."

"Simon?" She whispered.

Jess rubbed his jaw and nodded. "Simon."

"What is it between the two of you? Beyond the whole, saving his life thing and your book." She gestured wildly, arms flailing. "What's the deal?"

Jess plopped down on her sofa. "It's complicated."

"Then speak slowly and use smaller words." Rory replied tartly but grinned at his amused reaction.

"Simon's the first person to really look out for me, other than my parents. And even then, it's nothing like Simon." Jess suddenly felt winded. "He's a good guy. Too good to be my friend."

Rory sat beside him. "You put him on a pedestal. You both do that to each other. No wonder it doesn't matter how much you hurt each other, you guys always expect to be able to run back and forget the problem."

Jess scowled at her choice of words. "It's not a pedestal, it's a bedrock."

She persisted. "Whatever you want to call it, it's too tall. For the first time, one of you fell off."

"Yes."

"And?"

He reached out for her hand, as if he had no control over his own body. "And no matter how much I'm afraid of being with you, I'm more scared of loosing my friend."

"Why?" She wanted to be offended, but she couldn't.

Jess dropped her hand. "Because when this ends, I still need a friend."

Rory stiffened. Simon was right to have warned her earlier. Jess didn't believe in love, or even mutually extended feelings. It was obvious that Jess believed that she wasn't worth the sacrifice of Simon since he inevitably saw the end of their relationship. Jess needed Simon more than he wanted to need her. But that was the heart of the problem. Jess knew he needed Simon's friendship, but he didn't want to know how much he needed her as well. "I guess there isn't anything else to say then." She stood.

Jess didn't move. "Rory—"

"Your ten minutes are up."

He got up to his feet with all the grace of a gentleman. But no matter how someone like Jess tried to be a gentleman, he would fail. He wasn't cut out for it. He would always have the restrained grace of a tiger prowling in a cage. He was not what he seemed to be. "Okay." He wouldn't apologize. It wouldn't be Jess if he did. Walking the short distance to the door, he paused. Turning, he stared down into her eyes. They were clear and he knew his were void of any emotion. Years of training taught him to hide behind his invisible walls. She wasn't as good at it, but it was pretty damn close. He suddenly wanted to be able to read any and every emotion through her eyes again. Jess remembered the time when he goaded her into such a fury that anger shone straight from her eyes. He wanted that same vulnerability from her again. His step faltered and she watched as he stared at her mouth. She didn't know whether or not to be amused. Jess's expression was like a young adolescent who had never kissed a girl before. Jess was actually nervous. He reached out hesitantly, as if afraid. "I want to kiss you."

"Oh." She didn't know what else to say.

Jess circled an arm around her waist. "You gonna slap me again?"

"I don't think so."

He chuckled, a low rumbling in the back of his throat. Crushing her against his body, his mouth sought for hers blindly. When he found his mark, he moved slower, gentler. It was like soothing a scared child. His arms slid around her small waist, pulling when he should have been pushing her away. At first she responded with all the enthusiasm of a reluctant prisoner. When he took her face into his palms, framing her with care, she relented and gave into the kiss. Pressing her body against his, she wound her arms around his neck, pulling him down. Running his tongue along the edge of her lips excited them both. He kissed her with the abandon akin to a soldier going off to war.

Easing slowly out of the kiss, he kept her face in the warmth of his hands. "Stop. Tell me to stop."

"I don't think I will."

"This isn't right." But his lips moved on hers again.

"Are you going to shut up now?" Her eyes had a twinkle.

"Huh." He regained his devilish grin. "Was that a threat, sweetheart?"

Rory smiled at the familiar endearment. "You know," she tugged on his hand, pulling away from the door, "I have a small apartment, but my bed's pretty big."

"Oh?" He arched his brow. "You thinking about showing it to me?"

---

Jess sighed and rolled onto his back. "You okay?"

She grunted a reply next to him. "That was…"

He turned and caught her confused expression. "Bad."

Rory turned. "Yeah." Unexpectedly, she burst into giggles. "I just thought…"

"What?" He rose up on his elbow, looking down at her.

"Well," she threaded his fingers with her own. "I just thought it'd be good. I mean you have all those women traipsing through your apartment, and the first time we did it wasn't bad. But this time…"

"Oh God. What a blow to my ego." He rolled onto his stomach but didn't let go of her hand. Instead, he laced their fingers tightly together. Effectively, he pulled her on top of his leanly muscled back. Speaking into her pillow, he mumbled. "Not that I'm bragging but…no, wait. Yes, I am bragging. I'm usually pretty good in bed. Exceptional in fact. Really, really good. There are plenty of women who sing my praises."

She giggled into his shoulder blades and playfully nipped, letting him feel her teeth for just the barest of seconds. "God, you're an arrogant bastard."

He turned his head to the side, baring his jaw to her view. "Yeah, one of my many faults that you love pointing out." He squirmed beneath her and turned once more, propping her body on his chest. "Really that bad, huh?"

"You were there."

"Yeah." He sighed and curled his palm around the nape of her neck. "Why do you think it was so weird?"

"Should we blame it on nerves?"

"That sounds good."

"Okay."

"Maybe," he ran his hand down her side, "it's because we don't know each other."

"Maybe." She nodded and adjusted the sheet around her. "What do you wanna know?"

"What do you do for a living?"

"I do product placement that acts as a liaison between advertising firms and products."

He furrowed his brow. "Huh. That sounds…kinda interesting."

Rory giggled. "It actually is."

"Is that what you always wanted to do? Convince people to buy something they don't want or need?"

She elbowed him. "Advertising doesn't _make_ anyone do anything they don't want to. If anything it's just a gentle nudge or reminder of what your choices are."

He waved off her remark. "That sounded like a company line to me."

"And no, it wasn't what I wanted to do when I was young. I wanted to be a journalist."

"Why didn't you?"

"I just fell into the ad business instead. I got this internship and I just went from there. I like it though. It's not like I lost some great dream in life, I just traded it for another. I'm happy with my career."

"Is your hair naturally brown?"

"Are you always this bad at segues?"

Jess smirked. "Yeah." His eyes flickered their way from her messy hair to her pale pink lips. "Sum up your life for me in a few sentences."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Rory bit her lip. "I can't do that. There's too much."

"Then skip the boring parts." He nudged her under the covers.

"Uh, my parents never got married, and so I lived with my mom for all of my life. Grew up in a small town until I went to college. After Yale, I needed a change of pace after a bad breakup. Found a job in the city, pay way too much for rent, and here I am."

He listened carefully, noting that she pointed out all the practical things out for him. Her basic background, where she went to school, and how she ended up in the city.

"What about you?"

"I think jeans are supposed to be pants, never shorts. I like eating cereal for dinner but never lunch. I've never used an umbrella in the rain before, and I like to stay up late even though my internal clock always wakes me up early."

Rory noticed that Jess had a talent for talking about nothing. In a couple of sentences, she felt like she knew something more about him and yet nothing of importance. She wouldn't push. Not now. So, Rory played along. "Do you like coffee?"

His head tweaked to the side, amused. "No, actually I don't."

"I guzzle it by the gallon."

His brows rose. "Is that why you chatter like a monkey sometimes? All that caffeine pumping through your blood?" Jess grinned.

"A monkey?" She pretended to be insulted and lifted a fist in mock defense.

He grabbed her hand gently, spreading her fingers and pulling her further into his body. "Yeah, a monkey. A hyper-caffeinated, chattering monkey."

"I think I'm offended."

"Oh, yeah?" He grinned. "And how do you propose I make the proper restitutions?"

She considered it and blushed widely even though she adopted a wicked purr to her voice, "Well, you could make me…sing your praises."

He ran hot palms up and down her naked back, leaving a trail of fire with his fingertips. "You think it's wise to give an 'arrogant bastard' like me a second chance?"

There was an implication behind his playful question. "I don't know yet. Why don't you take this chance and we'll go on from there?"

"I think I can…rise up to the occasion." Jess pressed her hips down to his.

She giggled loudly. "That was so lame."

He pulled the sheet away from her body. Pressing her down onto him, he smirked at the fluttering of her eyelids. "Still lame?"

Rory lost the playfulness in her expression. "Do it again." She commanded and pressed hot palms tightly against his hipbones.

He rose up on his elbows, but ground into her once more. "Like this?" Whispering hotly into her neck, Jess took her earlobe into his mouth, first biting down gently and then licking repeatedly to ease the sting.

She whimpered and moved her hands on his body urgently. Rory became frantic, pushing him down while her lips caught the flat disk of his nipple between her teeth.

He chuckled quietly and stilled her movements by placing his hands on the curve of her bottom. "Slow down. We've got all night." She only made a noise of protest. Jess nudged her aside onto her back, and he scattered loose kisses across the wing of her collarbone. Ignoring her squirms against his fluttering teasing, Jess leveraged his body on top, hunched over her with his knees straddling either side of their bodies, careful to not rest his weight on her. "Slow…let's take our time, it'll be better." He nipped at the softer skin at the base of her neck, blowing at the wet spot. He grinned at the sight of her shiver. "Hmm, what's that taste?"

"Soap," she dryly remarked. "Careful, there's always that poison control warning about ingestion."

Jess smirked but jokingly admonished her with a bite at her shoulder, "Be quiet, sweetheart."

"Jess, come on…" She wiggled her pelvis up against his.

He groaned loudly but kept his hands firm around her waist, holding her down. "Tease."

"Serves you right."

Jess only grunted in response, lacing their fingers together and bringing both hands clasped above her head, trapping her under his ministrations. "Easy…"

"Jess, I need…" Her mumbles trailed off as he bit the fleshy upper curve of her breast, just above the gentle swell.

"I know. But not yet." His voices held a wicked timbre as he worked his way slowly down the left side of her body, tongue tracing the hot skin and protrusion of her hip. He let go of her hands and instead, he trailed lazy circles over her bare skin, leaving a trail of fire and goosebumps in his wake. He saw her reaction and smiled, knowing exactly what his touch was doing to her. Jess was a slightly vain creature. He knew it. Being endowed with good looks and considerable charm made him self aware at a young age. He cultivated looks given to him by women of all sizes and shapes. Basic fact: Jess knew his effect on women. And he would be damned before letting one awkward romp with Rory taint his what would be, flawless history.

Rory unconsciously arched her back up against his chest as a silent offering, eager to feel more direct skin on skin contact. As she wiggled again his hands slid beneath her breasts, cupping and molding until the tips of her nipples became hard. She bunched the bedcovers between taunt fingers and bit back a moan. His arousal was evident, it presses incessantly against the curve of her inner thigh, but he refused to do anything about it.

Suddenly, he turned, rolling onto his back and settled her on top. His hands held her securely by her waist as she shifted her weight and found her place on his lap. Jess sought for the back of her neck through her tumbled coffee-colored locks and buried his face into the curve. His other arm walked leisurely down the side of her body, playing with the dimple of her navel, traveling lower still until he felt the evidence of her arousal. He parted her, toying.

"Jess?"

"Shh." He stroked the skin above her navel. "You ask too many questions in bed." Jess chuckled and let her feel the vibrations of his chest. "Just enjoy, won't you?"

Distracting her with the movements of his hands, one between her legs, the other at her breast, he gentled her body, bringing her to the edge of her climax but leaving her stranded without a lifeline. She blew out an irritated sound. "Meanie."

"Name calling, sweetheart?" He didn't give her the chance to reply. Instead, he reached behind for a condom on the nightstand. Bringing her over and down onto his body, he let her weight sink down into him. Instantly stilling his body, he let her have ample time to adjust. "Okay?"

Rory groped for his hands and laced their fingers tightly together again. Exerting more pressure than necessary she vaguely entertained the fact that she could be bruising his knuckles. "Yeah. You just surprised me."

He laughed softly but didn't move an inch. He waited for her to make the move. "Good." She wiggled her body against his and he grunted. "If you want it to last, I suggest you stop that." Jess sounded breathless and it surprised him to hear his own voice. He was never breathless in bed. He usually had a game plan and stuck with it. But something about this woman made him forget everything, including his own name. He only focused on the feel of her around him, clenching and responsive.

She worried her bottom lip between straight white teeth. Breathing out, she moved him closer to where she wanted. "There."

The position let her set the pace and she experimented with gentle nudges until she felt his breathing hitch beneath her. He held her tenderly against him, realizing that the sensations were overwhelming. She moved delicately, finding her own pleasure first and then letting him ride along with her. He held on gently to her hips but didn't push her faster or slower. He just let her feel. He felt her warmth constrict against him, drawing out the last reserves of his self-control. Feeling her slump forward from the weight of her climax, he let go as well. His breathing became rough, his baser animalistic side taking over pounding into her body even though he wanted to be gentle. His arms were like a vice, gripping her, unable to let go of her. He tried to suck in air but was unable to, each breath felt like it was burning his lungs, setting fire to his body. "Oh God…Rory. Hold on tight, baby. I can't…I need…I'm gonna—" His body jackknifed up, pushing her down on her back, him on his knees, just relishing the hot warmth of her body.

She immediately wrapped her legs tighter around him, knowing that something was happening to him, something that he hadn't expected. She felt the force of his orgasm making her own toes curl. As his jerks became more fluid she gentled him down the ledge with soft fingers through his hair and words that he probably couldn't hear.

Wrapping his arms tight around her, he just held her, body to body. Staying motionless for several moments, Jess couldn't quite believe what had just occurred. Rory stirred and he slipped gently out of her. Turning to face the other side of the bed, he disposed of the condom and returned to find her already reaching for his warmth, tucking herself into the crook of his shoulder. She had a contented smile of a happy kitten and it made him light-hearted. Jess smoothed her hair down and brushed a dry kiss on her forehead.

He smiled softly, eyes soft and unguarded.

For a moment, Rory couldn't reply. Not because of the aftermaths of sex, though she would quietly and internally admit that it was probably the best she's had, but she was silent because of the smile on his face. It was genuine. And tender. She finally managed to strip away his cynicism. Even if it would only last as long as their afterglow, she had finally done it. She was able to chip away at his armor. Rory only managed a shaky nod.

He didn't change his smile. Instead, he snuggled close and whispered, "Me too." Reaching over, Jess turned off the bedside lamp and slipped back down into the covers, pulling her back into his chest. His arm snaked around her, a protective arm going around her waist and settling on her breast, a touch of comfort and of male satisfaction. Burrowing his face into her hair, he inhaled and for a moment, felt like he was truly at peace.

---

He really didn't know what the hell he was going to do. He liked her. Obviously. And they had a connection. Obviously. But he was unsure if it was still worth the price. Just thinking about it made him feel like a jerk. He knew there shouldn't be a debate, but damn, this was not a question he was used to answering.

Jess pondered and stared at the ceiling as she dozed heavily halfway on his chest. Rory's body was draped snugly against his own and the dead weight of her was certainly cutting off his circulation. Still, he didn't want to wake her. He shook his head at himself. How many other times would he have had no qualms whatsoever to shake off the body? But for some reason, he just wanted to let her sleep.

And he noticed with a smirk that she snored. Lightly, but it was a soft purl of a snore nonetheless. He tucked that little bit of information away for future use. She also sighed softly and tended to bury her face into his warmth. Rory slept soundly and deeply, and he wondered how many times she had slept through her alarm clock in the past. It didn't seem likely that anything could wake the woman.

But she came to, slowly but surely. Her eyes struggled to open and she stretched in his arms, very nearly kicking him in the shin while simultaneously coming deadly close to kneeing his groin. Hearing an obvious loud grunt of displeasure, Rory's eyes shot open. "Oh god, sorry!"

He pinned her with a look and winced. "Jeez, you're lethal in the mornings."

Sitting up, she ran concerned hands over his warm body. "So sorry. Did I hurt you?"

Jess smirked. "You could've made an eunuch outta me."

She lay back down on her stomach to banter back playfully. "You'd be no use to me then."

"Purely ornamental." He regarded her disheveled morning look. Cupping a hand around her jaw, he smirked. "You snore."

Her eyes widened. "I do not."

"Yes, you do."

"Really?" She chewed her lip. "No one's every said anything."

"Maybe they're too nice to say that to your face."

She laughed. "And you're obviously not one of those nice people."

"Never pretended to be, sweetheart." He dropped a quick kiss on her lips, mouth closed.

"I don't snore."

He rolled his eyes. "How would you know? You're asleep."

"Well, someone would've said something." She replied with an indignant expression. "My mom's never said anything. No one. No boyfriends, and Simon never said anything." Her eyes widened to an unexpected degree at that inadvertent slip. She wanted to clamp her hand over her mouth but she was frozen at the remark.

Jess shifted uncomfortably and deftly removed her arms from around his waist and chest. Looking to the side to see what time it was, he distracted his vision. "That's 'cause he can snore like a truck stop." Mumbling the last part, he swung his legs over the side and stood, searching for his boxers.

She sat up, silently chiding herself for such a stupid slip. "Jess…"

"I should go."

"Jess, wait."

He turned but his eyes were hard. It scared her how quickly his emotions shifted. Stopping, he curled his hand into her bed hair and tangled his fingers, tickling her scalp. His eyes softened along with his voice. "It's okay, I'm okay…I think. Just give me some time, all right?"

She didn't want to. She had a sinking feeling that once he left, she would loose whatever they had. They were safe in the cocoon of her room. Out there, in the real world, was where their problems were waiting. Insecurities, loyalties, and everything else threatened outside her door. But she knew she couldn't stay inside forever, and neither could he. She also knew she couldn't force anything to happen. Her hand fell to her side and she pushed herself up further, leaning on her headboard. "Not to sound stupid and cliché, but will you call me?"

Jess turned after buttoning his pants. He smiled softly. "Yeah, I'll call you." _I promise_. He wanted to say it. He was a hair's breath away from saying it. But what did he know about keeping promises? Jess watched her struggle to get out of bed while keeping the sheet wrapped around her and he sat back down next to her. "Don't get up, sleep some more. It's early still."

Despite everything, he made her feel safe. Rory wedged herself into the valley of his shoulder and arms and breathed in the scent that was uniquely Jess—soap and something indescribably masculine. She sighed against him. "Can I be honest?"

He stroked her hair as if gentling a frightened horse. "When have you not been?"

"I don't want you to leave. Because I know once you do, it'll mean something's changed and that we won't get back whatever we just had."

He tucked her closer and spoke into her neck. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. Taking one step forward and two steps back. That's practically our motto."

He chuckled, dryly. It almost hurt within his chest. "I'm too screwed up, Rory."

She didn't even bother looking up at him. Instead she snuggled closer. "If this is your way of telling me to find somebody else, you're too late, so don't even think about it."

If Jess were being honest with himself, he would admit that he didn't want her to find somebody else. She was his, damn it. The possessive nature was a little too animalistic for his tastes, but it was almost like he couldn't control it when he was around her. He wanted everyone to know that she was his, and his alone. He wanted to mark her as his, anything short of actually peeing in a circle around her. He settled for a kiss instead. Tilting her head up, he kissed her, moving his lips against her slowly. He ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, asking for permission. When she allowed it, he retreated and went back to teasing her gently with all lips and soft touches. Resting his forehead against hers, he closed his eyes and just absorbed the feeling of being with her. "I'll see you later, okay?"

She nodded, knowing there wasn't much else she could do.

---

Rory padded around her apartment, not in the mood to do much else. Coming up to the armchair by the window, she slumped down into it. The lock on the front door clicked open and a blonde head poked through. "Hey girlie."

"Hey Jane."

Jane struggled with the grocery bags, hefting them up onto the kitchen counter. "Damn, I forgot how much milk weighs after a climb up those hell stairs. Why did I pick the one day to go shopping when the elevator breaks?"

Rory smiled. "You want some help?"

"Nah, I got it. So, I was thinking. You wanna go grab a movie or something? We could go out to dinner or something. Maybe a bar? Make it a girls night out?" Jane looked over at Rory.

"I'm a little tired. Is it okay if I take a rain check?"

Jane grabbed a Red Bull and sat down on the couch. "What's up with you? And why are you in your pajamas so early? Are we having a slumber party?"

Rory chuckled. "No, just a bit tired."

Her roommate's eyes lit up. "Wait a minute. Hold the phone. I know that look. You bitch…that's the glassy eyed, rosy-cheeked blush that doesn't come from makeup but from sex. You had sex!"

Rory shook her head but didn't bother lying to her friend. "Yeah."

"Damn, and from the looks of it, it was some good sex."

Unable to stop herself, Rory continued. "The second time, yeah."

"Damn again! Who? Who is it? It wasn't some rebound, 'I miss you 'cause we just broke up' sex with Simon was it? Tell me that wasn't it."

"No, it wasn't Simon."

"Good. So, who is it?"

"It's complicated."

Jane snickered. "When is it not?"

"True, but this is really complicated."

Jane chugged the rest of the energy drink. "Why?"

Rory twisted her hands into her sweatshirt. "It's Simon's best friend and roommate."

"Damn." Jane moved over the armchair and placed her arm around her friend in comfort. "Does Simon know?"

"Yeah."

"He mad at you?"

"Yeah, but not like what you're thinking. He doesn't want me hurting Jess."

Jane took a deep breath. "That's…wait, what?"

Rory rolled her eyes. "Yeah, they're kinda screwed up. I've never known guys to be so close."

"They secretly gay?"

Rory laughed. "No, that's not it. They're just super tight as friends. But still…Jess has all these issues about being with me."

"And you don't feel weird about sleeping with your ex's best friend?"

"I'm thinking that I probably should feel more guilty about it and I'm sure I'll be in debt over the therapy I'll need in the future, but no, I don't really feel that weird about it. Being with Jess, even though it's so difficult and sometimes makes me wanna tear out my hair and then his, it just feels right at times. Like my time with Simon was just so that I could meet Jess." Rory paused and chewed on her lip. "God I'm screwed up, aren't I?"

Jane sunk down into the chair with Rory, smashing her friend up into the side and hugging her tightly. "No, you don't sound screwed up. You can't help who you love, right?"

"I think it's a little early to use the L word, Jane."

"Well, maybe." Jane petted Rory's hair in a sign of comfort. "This Jess…is he like Simon, the super cute, good guy kinda way?"

Rory barked out an ironic laugh. "Jess is like the junkyard guard dog who wants to bite your hand off if you get too close."

Hesitantly, Jane spoke. "That sounds…nice?"

Rory sighed deeply, her blue eyes tearing up. "He's like a rough guard dog who's secretly longing to be inside the house where it's safe, but it's almost like he doesn't feel like he's good enough to be inside and safe. Like he doesn't deserve it or something."

---

**AN: Please review after reading.**


	6. Casual

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 6: Casual

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN:** Yes, yes, it's been a long time. I know. Catch up on the last chapter(s) if it's been too long to remember what's been happening.

Enjoy!

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

* * *

Having holed up in his apartment for the last three days, Jess emerged in the early morning light for some tangible connection to the world in which he so often tried to escape. "Could you add that muffin too?" As he pointed to the organic mix of bran, his finger left a smudge mark on the otherwise pristine glass.

The young college student nodded but not before giving him a dirty look for ruining the display case that she had cleaned just minutes before. "That'll be four twenty please."

Dropping the remaining change from the five-dollar bill that he handed to her, Jess turned with his muffin and tea and sat down on a wrought iron chair that was just outside of the café door. Scrubbing his face with his free hand, he thought about lighting up a cigarette but thought better of it. If Simon smelled it on him, no doubt that tenacious blond would demand payment of some sort. Or at the very least, he would lecture Jess about the damage being done to his lungs. Instead, Jess tore his napkin into smaller pieces, occupying his nervous fingers.

"Jessie?"

Rolling his eyes, Jess didn't have to look up to know exactly who was behind him. Only a few people on the earth called him that and lived to tell the story. Craning his head over his left shoulder, Jess smirked. "Hey Uncle Mike."

Coffee in hand, a handsome man sat down opposite of his nephew. "How's it going, kiddo?"

Lying, Jess nodded along. "Good. What are you doing here?"

"Rebecca's out of town visiting her mother with the kids and I'm just hanging out. Miss being in the city and not having to worry about my kid's next potty break."

Jess smiled. "How are Ethan and Bella?"

Snorting, Mike rolled his eyes much like his nephew. "You know, they're kids. If I had known they were always so messy, I would have bought a lifetime supply of condoms." Though his voice was sarcastic, his eyes were warm. There was no doubt that Mike spoiled his kids with whatever they wanted.

Jess winced. "Maybe we could not discuss sex at seven in the morning, Mikey."

"Grow up Jess. You're thirty."

"It's never too old to be disgusted by insinuations of relatives having sex."

Mike swallowed a gulp of his latte, eyes bright at the thought of tormenting Jess. "And how did you think you came into this world? Immaculate conception?"

"I prefer the stork. It goes in line with the accusation of my parents saying that wild animals must have raised me. Or maybe I'm really adopted so there's actually the chance that Mom and Dad are just friends."

Throwing his head back in a bark of laughter, Mike smiled at his ornery nephew. Jess was always his favorite. "So, really Jess, how are things going? Crank out a new book yet?"

Jess bobbed his head and shrugged. "Yeah, hopefully. Nothing concrete yet. I've hit a bit of a roadblock. Nothing new. Nothing I can't handle."

Mike's shrewd eyes did not miss Jess's attempts of glossing over the subject. "You always were a terrible liar, Jessie."

"It's too damn early, that's why. Give me a couple of hours and you wouldn't be able to tell."

"You should come up and visit us more often, but please don't bring the kids anymore gifts. Damn that Metallica cd is still blaring at six in the morning when my two terrors wake up."

Jess chuckled. "Hey, I've gotta pass on my preferences to someone. Ethan and Bella are the two that are readily available."

"Not if you were to have some of your own."

Scowling, Jess glanced away. "Aw, Uncle Mike, not you too. Grandma gets on my case enough about turning thirty and not settling down. It's a new generation Mike, you know how it goes. Men don't even think about marriage well until they're thirty-five."

"To each their own. Not that I have anything to say about that. Look at me, I didn't meet Rebecca until I was almost thirty-eight." Mike finished off the rest of his latte. "But this isn't about me. Seriously kid, we get worried sometimes. No, don't roll your eyes at me. I've never even seen you with a steady girlfriend."

Burrowing his face into both hands, Jess let out a silent scream that sounded more like a whimper. Flashes of Rory and the last time he saw her burned into his retinas. Yes, he kept his promise of calling her, but it was brief and more than a little awkward. He still didn't know where to take things with her. Simon swore up and down that he was cool with it, but Jess still couldn't shake the feeling that it was wrong being with a girl who was the former girlfriend of his best friend. "Mike, please, this _so_ isn't the time for the girl lecture."

"Oh? And why not? Never bothered you before."

"Damn it Mike! I'm not in the mood."

Eyebrows drawn low, Mike examined Jess's face with a sharp glance. "You wanna talk?"

Jess glared. "Do I ever?"

"No, but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for that day in the future that will come." Mike paused and took a shot in the dark. "How's Simon?"

Jess's jaw tightened. "He's fine." His fingers resumed their nervous ripping of the napkin.

The motion didn't escape Mike. "Is he seeing someone?"

"No."

"Are you?"

There was a pregnant pause. "Not exactly."

That was as much of an honest answer Mike was going to get from Jess, and he knew it. "Did I ever tell you how I met Rebecca?"

"Blind date, right?"

"Not really; that's what I told your father. Jimmy would have been on my case forever if I told him the truth. I was dating her roommate at the time. After the third date with this girl, she brings me back to her place and in walks Rebecca. She was coming home after a long day and she was all grumpy and disheveled." Mike smiled softly. "She turned to me, looked me over once, and gave me this eye. You know the one that women give you? Like she's thinking, 'you're not good enough for my friend and I'm onto you.' Yeah, it definitely wasn't love at first sight for her, but damn, if I didn't want her right away."

Jess cocked his head to the side. "You've never said anything like that."

Mike laughed dryly. "Well, it wasn't really a bright shining moment in my life, you know? I was with her friend but I was looking at Rebecca. There was just something about her I couldn't resist. Maybe it was because she didn't like me at first."

"What happened?"

"Well, that night I slept with her roommate for the first time, saw Rebecca the next morning and I knew I wanted to switch girls."

Jess chuckled silently, his chest moving as he breathed out. "Why are you telling me this, Mikey?"

"Dunno. Just wanted to chat."

"That's such bullshit."

"What's up, Jess? You want Simon's girl?"

Jess's head whipped around so fast he was afraid of getting whiplash. "How the _fuck_ do you know that?"

With an expression of childish glee, Mike wagged his eyebrows. "I didn't. I took a shot in the dark, but obviously I was right." Dropping his smirk as Jess glared with murder in his eyes, Mike got serious. "What's going on? You fool around with the girl and now Simon's pissed?" When met with nothing but another glare and silence, Mike just sat quietly. He could be patient. "You might as well tell me or I'll just assume the worst."

Grudgingly, Jess spoke. "They broke up. I slept with her."

"And how does Simon feel about it?"

Jess's eyes glazed over, as if he were recalling it in detail in his mind. "He says he's fine about it now. They both knew it wouldn't work. I think they knew before she even met me. But shit, I mean, she was Simon's girlfriend—"

Mike pulled out a Mont Blanc pen and started to scribble key words onto his napkin.

"Wait, what the hell are you doing? This isn't a session. You're not doing your shrink thing on me."

Mike stopped. "Sorry, can't help it. Occupational hazard."

"Forget it."

Hands up in surrender, Mike slipped the pen back into his pocket. "Here, look, pen's gone."

Irritated, Jess's fingers itched briefly to wring his uncle's neck. "I said, forget it. I don't have a problem."

Snorting, Mike gave his nephew a disbelieving look. "Yeah, right. That's why you look so keyed up that you're about to burst any moment."

Jess sat still, sipping his cup, not answering.

Mike sighed. "Look kid, I'm no expert on relationships, no matter what that diploma says on my office wall. It's different with every woman."

"Gee, why didn't I think of that?" Jess scoffed. "Of course it's different with every woman."

Mike softened at the sound of Jess's angry tone. He had once been a rebellious kid and he knew that Jess still had a lot of pent up aggression left in him. "You can't help who you love."

"I didn't say I love her."

"Maybe not yet."

Jess gave up. He needed advice. And he needed it from someone who was on the outside of the situation. He still had Simon, but Simon's feelings were skewed, no matter how hard he tried to be impartial. Simon's advice swung like a pendulum. One moment, he was in Jess's camp, the next, he was in Rory's. Not that Jess blamed him one bit, he was getting a bit queasy himself just feeling the back and forth of his emotions. He took a deep breath and jumped off the ledge. "How do I fix this, Mikey?"

Mike hid his triumphant smile. He finally won. Jess was asking for help. "What is it that you want to fix?"

"Me and Simon. Me and Rory."

"You said Simon was okay with it."

Jess toyed with the cardboard cover on his drink. "He is. But he's still waiting. He knows I haven't made a decision."

"And what decision is that?"

"If I want to be with Rory."

Mike frowned. "But you want to be with Rory, right? So what is there left to decide?"

"Damn it, Mike. I don't want to be with Rory if it costs me my friendship with Simon."

"I think you just made your decision then."

Jess worried the inside of his cheek and backpedaled. "No, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I just meant…" Jess wrinkled his brow. "What I meant was…"

Mike intervened softly. "What you meant was, you want to somehow go back to a time where a woman didn't come between you and Simon and you also want Rory to be only your girlfriend and not also Simon's ex."

Put so bluntly out loud by someone else, even though the same trail of thought ran through his head constantly, made Jess's head pound with an impending headache. And then it struck him—"I can't have it both, can I?"

Mike shook his head. "I'm sorry, Jess. Things aren't always so black and white. You can't always make a clean cut. Sometimes life is messy." To illustrate his point, Mike tore his napkin. He started going along a straight line, but halfway through, the white napkin veered off to the left and the rest of the tear was jagged and messy.

"What if I try with Rory and it doesn't work out?"

Mike shrugged. "Then it doesn't work out."

"And Simon?"

"You'll always have Simon. It won't be the same, no, but it seems like he doesn't want to end your friendship over something like this."

Jess stayed quiet for a few heartbeats. "Did Becca ever regret being with her friend's ex-boyfriend?"

Mike smiled. "I wanna say no. But maybe she regretted it in the beginning. They were close."

"What happened with them?"

"Sarah moved away about half a year later."

"Did Becca continue living with her until she left?"

Mike tapped his knuckle with his pen that had somehow reappeared in his hand. That man couldn't go ten minutes without pulling out his pen and at least playing with it if he wasn't writing. He said it was just an effect of the job. "Yeah, but when we spent the night together, Becca came over to my place."

Jess sighed. "I don't want to hide at Rory's apartment all the time. I have my own home."

"That you share with Simon." Mike shrugged. "Who said you have to hide? It'd be uncomfortable at first, no doubt, but maybe you guys can make it work."

Jess absorbed what he heard. "What if I choose not to be with Rory?"

Mike just smiled softly. "Then you just remember her as another woman that you had in your life and you go back to being single again. Both you and Simon."

Jess nodded and began to clean up, pulling his muffin wrapper together and turning around to toss them into the trash.

Mike gathered his stuff too and stood up. "I've gotta go. I'm meeting some guys for lunch. Must take advantage of my freedom when I can." He gave Jess a chuckle. "Enjoy child-free life when you can."

"You love it." Jess slipped on his sunglasses.

"Yeah. I miss my little terrors." Mike reached out to shake his nephew's hand and pulled him into a hug. Tightening his arms around him, he spoke over his shoulder. "If you choose to let her go, it doesn't mean that you and Simon forget. Your friendship still won't be exactly the same."

Jess nodded grimly, already knowing the truth. But hearing it from someone else sounded so much more real.

* * *

"Table or bar?"

Simon looked at Jess but the shrug he provided didn't help. "Table, I guess."

The college age hostess smiled flirtatiously at the two men in front of her and added a little sway in her hips as she showed them to a table for two. "Here are your menus. Would you like to hear the specials?"

Jess scanned his menu and muttered, "Unlike some people, we're old enough to read them ourselves."

Simon rolled his eyes at his best friend's inherent rudeness and smiled up at the girl to make up for it. Not that it appeared that she heard Jess. She still had that wide smile plastered on her face. If he were being a bit mean, Simon would say she was smiling like she was psychotic. But he wasn't mean; he left that to Jess who had no real qualms about saying that stuff aloud. Only in secret and in silence did Simon join Jess. "Sure, what are the specials?"

"The sea bass and the New York steak strips."

Jess glanced up. "Vodka tonic."

The hostess blinked at the abruptness but the smile never slipped. "And for you?" She looked expectantly at Simon.

"Coffee."

The two men watched her walk away, one with a scowl on his face, the other with an expression of amusement. "Is it just me, or does each younger generation feel more infantile than the previous?"

Simon smirked. "Zing. Is that because she seemed to like me better?"

Jess couldn't help but chuckle. "They work for tips, you know? She looked like she had a hanger surgically implanted into her mouth. Remember that she's probably jailbait."

"What's with you tonight? You seem…jumpy."

"Just because I don't want to jump her bones doesn't make me jumpy."

Simon shrugged and buttered a piece of bread from the basket set in the middle of the table. "Whatever."

Jess tore at his bread, making a little crumb pile. "Saw Uncle Mike today."

"Oh yeah? How are the kids?" Ethan and Bella adored Jess but there was something about Simon that appealed more to children. Bella was thoroughly charmed by Simon. No doubt Simon would be the object of her first adolescent crush. Probably was already. Those two were growing up faster than Jess would like to admit. Made him feel old.

"Good. Becca took them to see her mom. I ran into Mike at a coffee shop."

With a knowing smile, Simon bit into his bread. "That's why you're all surly. Mike shrinked you."

"I'm not surly." Jess snarled at his embarrassment mingled with the annoying thought that he was so easily read by his friend.

Simon laughed. "Yeah right." He scanned his menu. "Have you tried the spaghetti?"

"You know I don't order spaghetti."

Simon rolled his eyes. He'd momentarily forgotten that strange fact. His excuse was why would he want to order something he knew how to make at home? Simon never fully understood that. He'd seen Jess order a grapefruit at a coffee shop, and it wasn't like Jess couldn't cut his own fruit at home. That was just one of Jess's weird quirks. The spaghetti. "Right. Jeez, prices kinda steep just for pasta, isn't it?"

"You make six figures, Si. I think it's okay to splurge on some spaghetti."

"You're one to talk. This coming from the guy who freaked out when I threw away some coupons?"

Jess's brows lifted, conceding to the fact that the both of them were cautious about money. They didn't pinch pennies nor did they scrimp on anything, but they knew not to throw away hard earned money. "Hey, it's hard to save money on dry cleaning."

Simon smiled but there was a bit of unrest behind his eyes. They were back to their easy banter, but there was something off between them. It saddened Simon to think that things would probably never go back to the same for them. "So what did you and Mike talk about?"

Jess shifted in his seat but didn't make eye contact. "Not much. Just family stuff."

Simon knew for a fact that Jess had been 'examined' by his therapist uncle. He also suspected that they had spoken about the current situation concerning them and Rory. "Nothing else?"

"Nope."

Simon knew Jess was lying but didn't want to ruin their dinner by bringing it up. He just wanted one night with his friend again. Simon wanted to feel like nothing had happened between them.

* * *

"Hey you."

Rory spun around, clutching her mail to her chest. "Jess!" Unable to keep the smile from emerging, she launched herself into his arms like a precocious child.

He couldn't stop his laughter either as he swung her up into his embrace. Dipping his head down, he sampled a taste of her. Adding a sensual swipe of his tongue against the seam of her lips, he flicked the tip playfully along the edge of her teeth. "Hi sweetheart."

Rory smiled at the name. Now, it sounded like endearment. When he first used it, it was to get her hackles up, upset her delicate position of trying to keep her distance from him. But now…it almost sounded sweet. "Wow. You're here." She couldn't keep the surprise from her voice.

He knew she had every reason to be shocked. He didn't just call, he had taken the initiative to actually show up and visit her. "Mm, you smell good." He kissed her again, walking her backwards into the open elevator and pushed her against the wall, his clever hands wandering down her back to cup her bottom.

Rory tried to squelch her smile but groaned when she felt Jess kneading her through her jeans. He ended up carrying her out of the elevator, down the hall, and into her apartment with her legs wrapped around his waist, grinding into his erection. He kicked the door to her room closed and bounced with her on the bed. Rory giggled and bit back a moan when he pushed up her shirt and felt his warm wet mouth seek out her breasts.

Jess groaned at the taste of Rory. Slightly sweaty, slightly sweet, with a hint of citrus. A man could get drunk just tasting her skin. "Off," he muttered around her nipple. "Take off your pants." He kissed his way back up to her neck, finding that soft skin and sucked hard.

She made fast work with her clothes and started on his. "Jess…" Rory trailed off, pushing a little at his shoulder. "Hickey."

"Yeah," he noted with a hint of possessiveness in his voice. His heart fluttered when he felt Rory's small hands close around his erection, sliding up and down. "Harder, baby."

Jess kissed his way down her body, sliding his tongue across her breasts to the juncture of her legs. He parted her knees with his torso and felt her grapple for his hands as he settled in. She gripped his fingers when he brought her extremely close to the edge of a climax with his lips and tongue and just the barest hint of teeth.

"Jess!" She flushed when he left her stranded on the verge of her climax but not enough to push her over.

"Hold on. Wait for me," Jess muttered and quickly rolled on a condom. He sank into her with a sharp intake of breath and stilled as the contact was obviously enough for her to orgasm. He paused and didn't wait for her to fall back to earth before moving, his lower body undulating in rhythmic waves.

* * *

Rory mumbled as he shifted under her. Untangling their arms and legs took a more time and maneuvers that could have earned him a place in a circus. But Jess couldn't help but smile and brushed a soft kiss on her forehead. There was something about her that always made him feel like his body was on fire. It was the innocence in her touch that seared his skin. Even when what they were doing wasn't so innocent, there was something so inherently pure about her that made him want to hold on. But holding on scared him. He wasn't looking for commitment. It wouldn't fit into the plan of keeping things light if he wanted a chance to salvage his friendship.

Jess ultimately knew that nothing could come of being with Rory. They would end up hurting each other. And while he knew with almost complete certainty that he would end up breaking her heart, when he looked at her and his breath caught in his throat, the more fearful thought of _her_ breaking _his_ heart looked more like an absolute possibility with each passing moment he spent in her arms.

Jess slipped on his boxers and ran a hand through his mussed hair as he opened the door and closed it just as quietly behind him. He needed some caffeine in his system. Some tea to jumpstart his thoughts and calm his nerves. He needed to keep his head level. Rummaging through the cupboards he found an old packet of Earl Grey and heated up some water in the microwave. Steeping the teabag, he closed his eyes and winced at the bad quality. But hey, bad tea was better than nothing.

"You must be the guard dog."

Jess's head whipped around to see an attractive woman clad in a nightshirt and robe. "Excuse me?"

She shook her head and smirked, as if she knew a joke he didn't. "Simon's friend?"

Jess didn't answer. He cocked his head and debated how much Rory's roommate knew.

"I'm Jane." She smiled.

Jess took in the sight of the curvy blonde and nodded. "Jess."

Jane walked around him to reach the fridge and while she peered through the leftover containers, she spoke up. "You're cute. No wonder she likes you."

Jess turned his head away. "Uh, thanks."

Jane just nodded. "We have bagels if you want. Help yourself." Without another glance, she went back into her room with her bowl of cereal.

He glanced over at the bagels but thought better of it. Sneaking back into Rory's room, he quietly gathered up his clothes.

"Hey."

Her soft voice startled him and he paused and bent down, tying his laces. "Hey you."

"You leaving?" She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"I've got some meetings with my editor and publishing house."

"Oh, okay." Rory's heart sank at the thought that Jess was all ready to leave without saying goodbye. "See you later?"

He nodded noncommittally and knew that he couldn't make promises if he had any chance of keeping this _thing_ between him and Rory casual. "I'll give you a call when I'm free."

Rory bit her lip and debated about pushing the subject. "When do you think that'll be?"

"Dunno, maybe sometime later this week." He stood and buttoned his shirt. Bending down, he kissed her quickly on the lips, closed mouthed.

With an intuition granted only to women, Rory knew that he was brushing her off but didn't want to start an argument by saying so. Jess needed to do things on his own schedule and Rory knew that their relationship was too tenuous to push him. "Okay."

Jess gathered his wallet and watch, quickly leaving the apartment. He could have it all, damn it. He could have both his friendship with Simon and whatever this thing was with Rory if only he kept things casual with her. As long as there was no commitment, nothing had to change. That was the key to it all, keeping it casual. No strings.

* * *

Rory doodled on her notepad in her meeting and glanced down at her open date book at her side. She peered at the past couple of weeks on the calendar and at the various notations she had made about both her personal and professional life. A budget report that was due a week and a half ago, a presentation to her direct superior that she made about eight days ago, her cell phone bill that was paid off the day before yesterday, and the lunch she had scheduled in with Jane yesterday afternoon.

She also noticed that in the last couple of weeks, she saw Jess about six times and that every time, they had sex. Not that it occurred to her initially, but as she sat in her chair, listening to the speaker drone on about the hazards of sexual harassment and the steps to take with HR to file a complaint, Rory noticed that every single time Jess had showed up at her apartment, they did nothing but have sex. They never had dinner, watched a movie, or leave the apartment. He simply showed up and the clothes went off.

Rory squinted. Surely that was just a coincidence. He wasn't just showing up for the sex, was he? But even though he had spent the night in her bed, Rory also remembered that they never shared breakfast and most of the time, he had left before she woke up. Yes, he left a note saying that he'd call, but his written words were brisk, though not unfriendly. They were just enough to placate her without giving her the feeling that he was acting like a boyfriend.

When she returned to her desk later on, she decided to call Jess and test her theory.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Hey, Rory."

She twisted a lock of hair around her index finger. "You want to have dinner tonight?"

A beat passed as if he were considering the idea. "I can't. I already have plans. But maybe I can swing by your place afterwards? Say about ten?"

Rory winced but knew that his refusal didn't prove flat out that he was avoiding all aspects of a proper relationship and headed straight for the physical only. "Um, sure, okay."

"Okay then. See you later." He hung up.

* * *

But she was right. Two more weeks passed by and she asked him almost every other day if he wanted to get together, have coffee, dinner, watch a movie. Every single time he had an excuse on hand. Meetings, dinners, too tired. But he showed up at her apartment around eleven or midnight five times.

While the sex was phenomenal, Rory couldn't keep that nagging feeling away that he was just in it for the sex. When she tried to initiate conversation in bed he distracted her with jokes and clever and sneaky movements with his tongue and fingers. If she tried to respond, he silenced her with gentle kisses that sent mixed signals to her. With his body he was sometimes tender to the point that made her want to tear up. Even when the sex was rough and primal, when he shuddered into her she caught a glimpse of his vulnerability.

When he held her afterwards, his heart thudded under her ear or against her back. His fingers would trail lazily up and down her arm while his legs anchored her. Sometimes he woke her up in the middle of the night, reaching for her, slipping into her without words. He would murmur how good she felt, how soft and warm, and Rory forgot everything else.

But when he would leave in the mornings, it was a different Jess that she saw and felt. It wasn't the same man who shared his body. No, he was distant and closed off. And in the mornings, that was when Rory saw things clearly. And saw that things would have to change.

* * *

**AN:** Read? Please review.

Questions to me are welcomed in the forum. Questions to characters will be answered in their voice. So, want to know something about Simon, Rory, or Jess? Feel free to stop by and ask.


	7. Bargain

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 7: Bargain

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN:** The story has taken a bit of a turn. A little unexpected but perhaps I can change the course of direction from what I had originally planned. I'm a bit torn, actually. I like it as much as I'm leery about it. Don't know, maybe things will write itself out and though not what I originally envisioned, maybe it'll be better. Who knows.

Enjoy!

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

* * *

Rory rolled over, pulling the sheet with her. She could hear the soft breathing of Jess at her back. Staring blankly at the red digital numbers that told the early morning hour, she felt the bitter edge of disappointment. It had been a little over two months since she and Jess had started sleeping together on a regular basis. It wasn't everyday, but he spent at least four or five nights in her bed. They never slept at his place and the topic of Simon and his continual presence in Jess's life was an unspoken issue between them. Rory hesitated in bringing Simon up to Jess and since Jess only spoke of what he wanted to, they never discussed it.

Though Rory had noted a while back with heavy suspicion that Jess only wanted a physical relationship, Rory wanted to give him time. They started all of this in murky waters and while Rory wasn't tricked into doing anything she didn't want to do, her irritation also began to grow at the uncomfortable indecision. At times, it was obvious that Jess didn't want a serious relationship. They didn't talk much about serious topics such as family, life goals, or fears and since Simon was an untouched topic, Rory knew that there was a large part of Jess that he didn't allow her to touch. Because of all that, Rory didn't share all of herself either.

But there were some times, those elusive times that touched Rory beyond any man had ever had. Jane had asked her the other day why she put up with Jess. Rory knew the answer but hesitated to answer. Not because she didn't know how to explain it to Jane. It was because she wanted to keep the answer to herself. Some times, Jess's eyes would go soft when he looked at Rory with an intensity that haunted her. It was as if Jess wanted to figure out every part of her just by looking. Other times, it was with his body that Jess surprised her. He was an excellent lover, but sometimes, his body spoke for him. His touched burned her, especially when he laid her out in the bright lazy Saturday sun and mapped her skin with gentle lips, persistent kisses, and insistent tongue.

She did note, however, that Jess did eventually feel more comfortable with meeting her for coffee, dinner, or just to hang out on a park bench and watch the evening joggers. It had just taken him time. And while it bothered her that they didn't have a deeper connection beyond sharing a good time and a warm bed, she also didn't want to loose what they had if all Jess required was some more time. Rory knew for a fact that being with someone like Jess demanded patience. She just didn't know if she could be patient enough.

Rory bit her lip, reliving the indecision of what they shared. She felt Jess shift behind her and she held her breath as his legs touched hers gently beneath the covers. His arm snaked over her hip and around the front of her chest to seek and hold her hand in his. Jess scooted closer. "Awake already?"

_This_ was one of those moments that made her want to hold on and learn the virtue of patience. Just hearing his gravely morning voice nearly undid her. "Yeah. Just woke up."

"Hmm." He nuzzled the back of her neck and snuggled his bare body even closer, tucking her bottom into the harder cradle of his lean hips.

Rory sighed a big release of breath and reached to grip his arm tighter.

Jess levered himself up on his elbow to look at Rory. "You okay?" She shrugged. He dipped his head to nuzzle her soft cheek. "What are you thinking about?"

Rory paused, knowing that he never asked that question. It was just too personal. And looking into his sleep heavy eyes right now, her breath caught and she didn't know if _she_ was ready to talk about it. But she knew that if she let this slip through her fingers, she probably wouldn't get another chance. "What are we doing Jess?"

His brows knitted together in momentary confusion. "What do you mean?"

Rory laid a warm hand on his chest. "I mean us. What is this?"

Jess paused, wondering how much to admit. But he knew that Rory wasn't stupid. He might have been trying to keep his distance, but he knew it was all for naught. Somehow after he had spoken to Uncle Mike and decided to keep things casual with Rory, she had noticed it and given him the space he wanted. And because she gave him distance, Jess began to wonder if he made the wrong decision. "Why don't you just ask me what you want to ask?"

"Are you going to open up? Is this just a matter of time and I just need to wait it out or is it a hopeless case? I mean, what do you even call me? Your girlfriend? Lover? Oh, that girl I'm seeing?"

Jess zeroed in on the last part of her questioning. "Why is the label so important?"

She sat up, flipping on the light and pulling up the sheet. "It's not the label or the name. It's what the label implies. It implies commitment. Commitment to the moment, the future, the other person."

Jess sat up, moving around to lean against the headboard without bothering to take the sheet with him. He was mindless of his nudity. "So it's a problem of commitment."

"It's not just that, Jess. You don't…_we_ don't open up or share much about each other. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me."

Those words straight from her lips hurt him much more than he could have ever anticipated and Jess wondered what it meant. "I never said I didn't want to be with you."

Rory's eyes were kind even as she knew her words were painful. "You don't have to say it to show it sometimes." And that was the gauntlet thrown down.

There was nothing Jess could say to counter that. He knew she was right. "Where does this leave us?"

"Are you open to the idea of committing?"

Jess took a long moment before he answered. "I don't know."

Rory nodded, expecting that answer. "Are we going to talk about things that actually mean more?"

"Like what?"

"Everything."

He got annoyed. "Why can't you just leave things the way they are? Leave things alone?"

"That's your answer for everything, isn't it? Leave things alone." She sat up and clutched the sheet to her breasts.

"Damn it, Rory!"

She wanted to be the adult about this, she really did. But she just couldn't help it. Something about Jess whipped her blood into a frenzy every time he started to withdraw into his shell and become the bastard she first met. She wanted the tender Jess she had earlier in the evening. She wanted more, damn it! She wanted what she knew she deserved. A man who wants to be with her, announce to the world that she was his, and have him cherish her like she was a gift, not a pet that he could play with and ignore at his pleasure.

And as much as she didn't want to, she knew what she needed to do. For herself. For her sanity. For her heart. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

She uttered the statement softly and that took the wind out of his sails. Jess had been primed for a fight. His adrenaline had been rushing at the initial sound of her raising her voice. But this…this statement shocked him. But it didn't. He had been prepared for those words. Or at least somewhere along the lines of _Get out of my bed, you asshole._ In reality, she picked much more polite ones. He knew that there was no way Rory would put up with being second best. And she deserved to be able to be first in a man's life. She shouldn't be with a man who was afraid to admit his feelings, one who hid behind his best friend as an excuse for not letting her get too close.

Silently, he nodded and slipped out of bed. He reached for his pants and slid them on, slowly. He took a moment to watch her. His last vision of her. He lifted his eyes to hers and they were dark with regret. "I'm sorry."

Rory blinked. "I know. Me too."

* * *

Jess left her apartment and as he walked along the streets with the scent of Rory still clinging onto his clothes and his skin, he didn't know if it was because it was so early in the morning or something else, but he knew that things had just blown up in his face. It wasn't quite like Uncle Mike had predicted. Jess's friendship with Simon was still as is, but he had lost Rory.

But what surprised Jess was that the loss of Rory hit him harder than he had prepared for. He had been so worried about loosing Simon that the inevitable thought of loosing Rory had taken a backseat. And now that it had happened, Jess wasn't sure he should fix it. He knew that Rory would be better off without him and for the first time in his life, Jess wanted to do the selfless thing when it came to a woman. He wanted to respect her wishes.

If he couldn't give her what she deserved, then he had no right to go near her again.

* * *

"Hey man."

Jess closed the door behind him and rubbed his eyes. "Mornin'."

"You're home kinda early." Simon sauntered toward him in his boxer shorts, lazily scratching at his chest.

"Yeah."

Simon paused by the couch, ducking to catch Jess's eyes. He seemed more subdued than normal. "You okay?"

"We decided to call it quits."

Simon's gaze sharpened and there was no need to clarify Jess's statement. They both knew what that meant. "Your decision?"

Jess hesitated in answering. Technically, they agreed upon it mutually, but Jess knew that it was because he couldn't offer Rory what she wanted. "Hers."

"Hm."

Jess walked the short distance to the couch and rolled onto it, his long legs hanging off the side. "It's my fault."

"What do you mean?" Simon went to the kitchen and started his coffee pot.

"I did it to myself. I wanted to keep her casual."

"Why?"

Jess laughed dryly. "I wanted to have it all. I wanted to keep you and sleep with her."

Simon scrunched up his face. "What does 'keep me' mean? I hope this isn't some weird fucked up Freudian thing."

For a moment, Jess's lips curled at the tips. "Maybe. I thought that if things got too serious with Rory than it would screw up what we have."

"Jesus H. Christ, Jess. What the hell were you thinking?"

Jess sat up. "I was thinking I didn't want to loose my best friend."

"Who said you were going to loose me, dickhead?"

"Our friendship has already changed and there's nothing I can do to stop it!"

Simon stalked back towards the couch, cup in hand. "Why are you so afraid of it changing? Maybe it's fucking time we grew up! Learned how to function like normal human beings without each other."

Jess dropped back onto the couch cushions. His arm came up over his eyes; his elbow bent covering near the bridge of his nose. "I know how to be your friend. I'm not sure I know how to be someone else's…anything."

Simon stopped at that confession. In all the years he'd known Jess, even when they shared long conversations, he had never heard anything remotely so revealing about his friend. Simon always suspected that Jess had a fear of abandonment. Though his parents stayed together, they weren't too concentrated on Jess. In the end, Simon suspected it left Jess feeling like he had parents who were invisible.

Thinking back on Jess's words, Simon wondered himself if he knew how to be anything on his own. He knew his career; that was for sure. But personally, he wasn't sure if he could separate his identity from his friendship with Jess. Maybe Jess had a point. They didn't know how to be anything else.

Jess threw his legs around and sat with his head in his hands. "I think we are seriously screwed up," Jess stated, his voice cracking. "I think maybe it's time I moved out."

Simon started to protest, but swallowed the violent gut reaction. "You want to stay here instead?"

Jess shook his head and stood. "No. It's time I get my own place. I need to find some footing apart from you. Apart from Rory." Jess breathed, his throat closing up at the thought of being truly alone for the first time. "There's something wrong with me being thirty and I can't even bring myself to commit long enough to call someone my girlfriend."

Simon wanted to say that he's had several 'girlfriends' and he was in no better shape than Jess was, but decided to keep his mouth shut. They each had their own problems to work out. "What about Rory? Are you going to try to give that another shot?"

Jess shook his head again. "No, I don't think that's a good idea. I can't give her what she needs and I don't want to hurt her again."

Simon reeled at the softly spoken words. Jess might not realize it, but he'd already changed.

* * *

"What about the cds?" Simon pointed to the imposing towers next to the entertainment system.

Jess closed up another box and taped along the top. "I have a copy of them all in my computer. Just leave them here."

"Okay. Then you take the movies." Grabbing an empty cardboard box, Simon knelt and began dumping in dozens of DVDs. "I don't have much time to watch them anyways. I know you use them sometimes for background noise when you're writing."

"Thanks."

"The dishes?"

Jess paused and swept his gaze into the kitchen. "Technically they're yours."

Simon rolled his eyes. "How about I give you two of each thing to start you out. Heaven knows you're not going to go out and buy stuff."

Jess couldn't help but crack a smile. "Okay. But make it three cereal bowls." His infamous habit of wolfing down cereal in the middle of the night was once a common joke between them in college. Jess pulled a small white envelope out of his back pocket and laid it on the table. "Here. This month's rent. And next month's too since I'm just skipping out on you without warning."

With a heavy scowl, Simon didn't even bother to examine the envelope. "Take your fucking money, Mariano."

With a lopsided smile on his face, Jess walked over to Simon and drew him one-armed into a hug. "Thanks man. For everything. And I'm sorry about—"

"Don't finish that statement." Simon smirked and thumped Jess on the back and then released him. "Besides, you're moving a few blocks away for god's sake. Stop acting like you're shipping out in the morning."

* * *

Eerily alone for the first time in his life, Jess Mariano stood in his apartment. _His_ apartment. Not a house owned by his parents. Not a tiny sardine can dorm room shared in college. Not the large apartment the two men later shared, but a home of his own. The loft was smaller, but comfortable. It had large windows and high ceilings. He could've afforded something bigger but was happy with the smaller environment.

The first few weeks were spent unpacking and rearranging his life into this new space and therefore gave Jess little time to mull on the fact that he was alone. He and Simon met for dinner twice and the banter slowly reappeared between them. Simon told Jess that he was enjoying his freedom to have sex in the kitchen. Jess laughed at Simon's leer and the broken bridge between them was beginning to patch up. It wasn't the same but it was something. And Jess had a feeling that it was better this way. They were more like best friends these days than emotional crutches for one another.

And Jess enjoyed solitary life. He buried himself in his new writing project and didn't surface for things other than the occasional fast food run or to stretch his legs out at the park. He found himself oddly at ease without women in his life. For the first time, Jess Mariano, the Playboy, was spending his nights alone. And he didn't mind. He had time to reflect on how he had kept women at bay with the excuse that he didn't know how to give more. And maybe he didn't. He still wasn't clear on that part, but at least he could admit it. He had the itch the other day to call Rory, but figured that it wasn't a good move. She rightfully broke things off and he needed to respect that. He regretted the way things ended, but their time was done.

His cell phone buzzed, vibrating against the kitchen counter. "Hello?"

"Hey kid."

The edges of his lips curled into a smile. Luke. It had been a while since he heard from his uncle. They weren't exactly close, but Jess had fond memories of the man teaching him to fish when he was a kid. Jess's mom wasn't the biggest fan of the small town she grew up in and therefore Jess didn't have many opportunities to visit when he was younger. "Hey Luke. How's it going?"

"Nothing much. The usual, you know. Working the diner. How about you? Your mom mentioned some new book you're working on?"

Jess was mildly surprised. Sure, his parents were extremely proud of their son's ability to live comfortably on his author's salary and the fact that the family name usually graced the best seller's list whenever Jess put out a new book, but his mom was a bit absentminded at times. At least when it came to Jess and the details of his life. "She told you, huh?"

"Yeah. She called to invite me to her birthday party next month and mentioned that you were researching small towns for your next book."

Jess padded over to the refrigerator, digging out a box of juice. "That's about right. Can I ask you a few questions?"

Luke paused for a moment. "Why don't you just visit for a weekend or something? I'm not that great with questions anyways."

Jess shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Remember how to get here?"

Jess smirked. "I think I have a general direction. There's only one road leading off the highway anyways."

"Smartass."

"Next weekend work for you?"

"Yeah. See you then, punk."

* * *

The bell chimed, announcing his arrival. Luke turned around, smiling at him. "Hey Jess. Grab a stool, I'll be right with you."

Jess plopped down, the vinyl sticking to the butt of his jeans. He reached for a menu, his gaze flipping through the usual diner fare. Pancakes, waffles, burgers, sandwiches, salads. _Hm, milkshake_. He couldn't decide on the flavor, bouncing back and forth between chocolate and vanilla malt.

"Hey kid. You got here earlier than I thought."

"Light traffic."

"Ah." Luke looked mildly uncomfortable but Jess wasn't put off. He knew from experience that his uncle was a man of few words. "So, you hungry?"

"Burger, I guess. No pickles. And root beer."

Luke scribbled down on his pad but paused at the mention of the soda. "What? No milkshake? I remember when you were a kid, you were so hopped up on sugar from all the milkshakes you sucked back that you were bouncing off the walls."

Jess laughed. "Not my fault the machine is right at a kid's height. Seriously, Luke, you should've put a lock on that thing."

Luke scowled. "You probably own me hundreds for all those milkshakes you stole from me."

"Stole?" Jess pretended to be insulted. "Borrowed, is more like it."

Luke chuckled. "It's good to see you kid."

"Yeah, you too."

He turned to put Jess's order in and grabbed a tall glass for the root beer. "Where are you staying?"

"Hotel, I guess." Jess swiveled in his seat. "Is there even one _in_ Stars Hollow?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Yes, dumbass. But you're welcome to stay here."

"What? The diner?"

"Upstairs. My apartment's upstairs and you're welcome to it."

Jess tilted his head and considered it. "That's nice to offer, but I'm planning on working while I'm here so I don't want to get in the way." Jess liked his solitude when working but didn't exactly want to phrase it that way.

"No, it's fine. I don't stay there much these days."

"Oh?"

"Well, I usually stay somewhere else." Even though he was an adult, Luke flushed at the statement.

Jess smirked. "As in a girlfriend's place?"

Luke nodded.

Jess opened his mouth for a witty, sarcastic reply but it died down on his lips. Hell, if he had to strike out in the romance department, that didn't mean everyone else in the family had to as well. Uncharacteristically, he said softly, "That's nice."

If Luke noticed that it was weird how his nephew replied, he didn't say anything. He just nodded again and hitched his thumb towards the door. "So, I'm going back down there for the dinner rush. You need anything, just call, okay?"

"Thanks."

* * *

The Podunk town of Stars Hollow wasn't exactly steeped with historical accounts of America. It was a modest sized town as far as small towns go and it had a homey feel. The residents usually stayed until they were old enough for college and those who remained in the town could probably trace their family lineage back a couple generations. It was the type of town where everyone knew everyone else's business and you couldn't walk down the street without someone questioning the health of your grandmother or stopping you to say that your kid was great in the school piano recital or something equally mundane.

It wasn't Jess's idea of paradise but it held a certain amount of charm. He remembered the fairs he had attended during a summer visit to Luke as a kid and the memories of sticky blue cotton candy and melted snow cones were still vivid. No, he wouldn't want to settle down his life in a place where he couldn't be anonymous like he could back in the city, but it was the perfect settle to glean some inspiration for his new novel.

Jess Mariano, the author, caught a lucky break with an ambiguous book about a man searching the earth for a person he met only once when he was a child. The book was filled with colorful settings and weird characters. The moral of the story was both revered and criticized by book critics. Some thought it was the best book by a new voice of the year, while others dismissed it as the ramblings of a discontented young man trying to find his way in life. Both ends of the spectrum had their valid points in Jess's opinion. And though Simon had silently paved the way for publication, there was something to the writings of Jess Mariano.

But Jess tired of writing vague stories of characters with questionable moral codes who readers wanted to hate but couldn't. After a lengthy discussion with his agent, Jess thought he wanted to try his hand at writing more generalized fiction. He still wanted those characters that were shifty and did what they wanted to get the results that they desired, but he wanted more adventure. Jess wanted to try his hand at a murder. And the town of Stars Hollow provided the perfect backdrop for the location of the crime.

Jess left the diner with a casual nod to Luke, signaling that he was leaving for a while. The diner seemed to be in the center of town. It was directly across from some small park with colorful, albeit slight rusty, playground equipment. _Hm…maybe that's where the demented killer once played when he was a kid_. Jess shook his head. Who would've thought he'd ever try his hand at a mystery? Although it did go against things he vowed never to write about, Jess took comfort in the fact that if he already made some personal changes in his life, why not some professional ones as well? He could afford to stretch his creative wings so to speak. And he was leaving the name of Jess Mariano the author in tact. To his audience, he was taking a break. But between him, his agent, and his publisher, Jess Mariano was donning a penname and trying to write to a larger mass audience.

Turning the corner, he spied the pathetic excuse for an alleyway behind Luke's. It wasn't dirty or dark. There were however, a few old-fashioned metal-topped trashcans that Jess could easily dirty up in his mind to make the setting seedier. Although maybe the cleaner version of the alley made for an interesting contrast. _What if the killer spent time here taking a smoking break and it was his presence that made the alley dirty, not the other way around?_ With his imagination on full run, Jess inched closer to the trashcans, closing his eyes and visualizing the scene of the book in his eyes. He bent down, thinking about how the would-be killer grew up as a teen, watching the other kids across the street being normal, interacting with girls—_shit_!

A sudden noise startled him and Jess jumped back, his eyes widening at the sound. A striped yellow head poked out from behind one of the trashcans and Jess laughed at his irrational fear as he spied a small cat. "Damn you scared me."

The cat tilted its head and let out a small meow.

"Come here." Jess stretched out his fingers and the cat hesitantly came forward; ducking its head as a natural reaction as Jess gently scooped her up into his arms. "No tags. Are you by yourself?" He lifted the cat higher and looked into its eyes. Green. It was a scrawny little thing and her ribcage poked through and was plainly visible.

"Didn't think a town like Stars Hollow would have strays. Wouldn't they have a committee and round you guys up, feed you, and make sure you weren't lurking around alone?" Unable to resist, Jess brought the cat to his chest, letting it burrow against the t-shirt he was wearing. When Jess palmed the head, it nuzzled between fingers, nipping gently.

And Jess was a goner. No way could he not give the little thing a home. "Well, if I'm going to have to live alone, might as well have some kind of company." He scratched behind the cat's ears. "What do you say, Killer?"

Deciding to go back to Luke's for a box and something to feed the cat, Jess pushed the door open and walked behind the counter, searching for his uncle. Luke emerged from behind with hot plates. "What the hell is _that_?"

"Cat."

Luke rolled his eyes but turned and deposited the plates down on the counter. "I can see that. Where did you find it?"

Jess held the cat closer. "I found it by your trashcans."

"Well, there's a animal shelter about fifteen minutes away from here." Luke looked decidedly uncomfortable with the feline.

Jess shook his head. "No, I think I'll keep her. Do you have a box and some towels for her? At least until I run to the pet store later today." Jess paused. "You _do_ have a pet store, don't you?"

"Keep making those snide small town remarks and you're going to find yourself homeless for the weekend."

Jess smirked. "Sorry, can't help it."

"Yeah, yeah." Luke took off his hat and then replaced it, all the while glancing wearily into the face of the cat that took to rubbing the crown of her head against Jess's chest, batting at the small pocket on the pectoral of Jess's tee. "There are a couple of clean boxes in the storage room. I just emptied a case of pickles. And I've got some milk for it in the meantime—"

"Kitty cat!" Luke was interrupted by a flurry of brown hair rushing toward them.

In a knee jerk reaction, Jess shielded the cat by cupping its head. "Hey!"

Luke reached to stop Jess with a hand on his shoulder. "It's all right. Jess, this is Lorelai. Lorelai, this is my nephew Jess."

Lorelai smiled but her concentration was on the cat. "So adorable. Can I hold it?"

"No."

Lorelai's smile slipped and she pulled back at the abrupt answer. "Ookay."

"Forgive my nephew, he's socially inept." Jess scowled at his uncle but otherwise kept quiet. Luke raised his brow to Lorelai as a warning. "However, Lorelai can be single minded when it comes to something small, furry, and cute. She didn't mean anything by it."

Jess relented a little but still didn't relinquish his hold. "Fine."

"Nice relative you've got here, Luke." Lorelai smirked.

"Coffee Luke, extra caffeine." Rory stepped into the diner and came to a sudden halt at the sight of Jess Mariano in Luke's diner. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Lorelai hopped up on a stool and pointed at Jess. "Do you know this younger, rude version of James Dean?"

Rory nodded. "Uh, yeah. We've met."

Unable to move, Jess couldn't formulate a reply.

"And you've got a cat." Blurting the obvious, Rory felt a blush stain her cheeks. She had retreated back to the safety of her hometown and her mother's presence after the last time she saw Jess. Things were jumbled up and confused and Rory wanted nothing more than to just wallow in the time she spent, and wasted, with Jess. She had expected to spend a week at home, indulging in favorite movies and comfort foods with her mom, catching up and spending time together. What she didn't expect was to find Jess in the same town, looking rumpled and cradling a cat.

She could barely comprehend the situation. The man who was anti-social with a mean tendency and the ability to curse like a sailor was standing behind the counter at Luke's holding a small grey and black cat striped to look like a miniature tiger.

"Hey Rory."

* * *

"Uncle, huh?"

Jess picked up a cardboard box and lined it with a few towels. "Yeah." He had mumbled an excuse of finding a bed for Killer and Rory had just followed him without invitation into the backroom and eventually upstairs to Luke's apartment.

Rory watched as the cat lapped up the last of the milk from a shallow dish. "Small world."

"Yep." Jess reached for the sleepy cat that was on her back, purring with remnants of milk still clinging to its whiskers.

"And you're in town rescuing cats?" Rory was confused and therefore filling every silence with statements that made little to no sense whereas Jess was creating gaps of silence with his short replies.

"I came to see Luke."

"I've never heard Luke mention you before."

"Yeah, I'm sure you two are real bosom buddies." In his peripheral vision, he caught sight of her wince and he reigned in the impulse to scathe with his words. For once, Jess was ashamed how his words had stung someone else. He cleared his throat. "I came to do some research for a new book."

Rory pulled out a chair and sat down. "Oh."

Satisfied with Killer's temporary home, Jess glanced up from his crouching position on the kitchen floor. "I can leave, if you want."

Rory instantly felt bad. "No, don't do that. We're both adults, right? It's not like we can't be in the same town because we're not sleeping together anymore."

Jess noted her interesting choice of words. She hadn't deemed what they had as a 'relationship,' she simply worded it as purely physical. "Right."

She got up and started towards the door. "I better get back down there. I promised to spend time with Mom."

Jess nodded and stared at his shoes. In a moment of weakness, Jess couldn't help but blurt out, "It was nice seeing you."

Rory stared at the out of character statement from him. But she couldn't say the same thing back to him. He had hurt her and she was finally admitting it to herself for the first time. When he left her bed that morning, she had brushed him off as a brief affair. One filled with tumultuous emotions and good sex but ultimately lacking deep emotions. She told herself that it was nothing more than a fling and never to be repeated again. But with her inability to return his sentiment, she knew that she was hurt. And it hurt more than she bargained for.

* * *

**AN:** Read? Please review.


	8. Beware

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 8: Beware

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. Leave a review when you're finished.

Enjoy!

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

* * *

"Sooo, want to tell Mommy all about you and Mr. Somewhat tall-dark-and-monosyllabic?"

"Jess isn't short."

Lorelai whirled around and pointed an accusing finger at Rory. "Ah ha! You _do_ know him!"

Rory rolled her eyes. "Yes, Luke introduced everyone at the diner, remember?"

"No don't try to pull a verbal fast one on me, girlie. You're talking to the queen. You knew Jess waaay before today."

"Keep dragging out those syllables, Mom."

Rory went into her childhood bedroom and Lorelai flopped on the bed. "Fess up already. Dish."

Rory hesitated, not wanting to share the details with her mom. She wanted, in some perverse way, to keep Jess all to herself. If she couldn't make anything work with him in terms of a relationship (or whatever it was), then at least she could hold onto memories of him and keep them private. But she wanted someone to talk to, someone who knew her inside out and who wouldn't judge her. Not too much anyways. "Jess and I had a…thing."

"Sounds interesting." Lorelai narrowed her eyes playfully. "Was it sexual in nature?"

Rory quickly whipped off her sweater and replaced it with a long worn boys' sport jersey that covered her down to her knees. "Is this on the record or off?"

"On, definitely on. If it's really juicy I need to have this information on hand as a bargaining chip in the future."

"Mom…"

Lorelai sobered up. "Sorry, kid." She patted the bed. "Come on, spill. I'll be quiet. Do I need to be your best friend or your mom for the following conversation?"

Rory rubbed her eyes with her forefingers until she saw stars. "Both."

"It _is_ serious. Do we need snacks? Salty or sweet?"

Rory quirked a smile. "I could go for a pizza."

"Okay. Let me order it."

When Lorelai returned, she commandeered the same position on the bed and waited patiently for Rory to begin. Killing time, Rory wandered around the room, taking her laptop out of its case and powering it up on her desk. "Remember that guy I mentioned a while ago? Simon Cannon?"

"Yes."

"Things didn't work out with him. He was…sweet and caring and polite. The kind of man that I could bring over for Friday night dinner and Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't bat an eye. Simon would probably win over Grandma because of his family connection to American history. Simon's grandmother and mother are a part of the DAR too. And he would charm Grandpa with his ability to chat about anything and everything. Simon's sweet that way."

"He sounds great."

"He is."

"Then what happened?"

Rory swiveled around on her desk chair and faced her mom. "There was something…missing, I guess."

"A spark? Chemistry?"

Considering it, Rory thought about it and then shook her head once. "No, we had a good amount of chemistry. The first time he kissed me was in the frozen foods section in a grocery store. Funny, isn't it? He was teaching me how to make pizza with that kind of ready made dough and all you have to do is add the toppings." Rory smiled softly as she recalled the memory. Simon had leaned into her body, placing one hand on the freezer door and he kissed her softly. Once. "Anyway, it wasn't a lack of chemistry." They also had fun in the bedroom, but her mom didn't need the details.

Lorelai was confused. "And he still sounds great."

"He still is." Rory nodded.

"Okay, so you've introduced this supposed Prince Charming into the story. Now when does the dark exiled one come in?"

Rory rolled her eyes but continued anyways. "After dating Simon for a while, I started to realize that something was off. It wasn't something I could put my finger on, but it was something. Does that sound weird?"

"No." Lorelai shook her head. "It was kinda like that with your dad. I loved him, still do actually, but there was always something missing with him. It's like what you described with you and Simon. Chris and I had a good time, chemistry was there, but as for that thing that makes you think of wedding bells and forever…well, it wasn't there."

"Yeah, that's what it felt like with Simon. And it was the same for him too. But I think we both just sorta ignored it for a while, not wanting to rock the boat, you know? It gets lonely being single all the time and I think we both just enjoyed being with each other."

"I'm guessing this is when Jess pops in."

"Jess is Simon's best friend and roommate."

"And the plot thickens."

"Jess is difficult. That's putting it nicely. He was stubborn, hardheaded, and rude. He goaded me, insulted me, and warned me away from Simon. That was the biggest issue I had at first with Jess was that infuriating protectiveness he had of Simon. I swear, if they weren't both so blatantly male, I would've thought they had some secret stuck-in-the-closet thing."

Lorelai bit her lip but failed to stop the giggles. "You thought your boyfriend and his roommate was gay?"

Rory shrugged but her face burned bright. "It was only for a _brief_ moment that I considered it. Believe me. No one would accuse Jess of being gay after…"

Lorelai raised her brows. "Did you sample the goods?"

"Yuck!" Rory sat back on her chair, tipping it back.

"Well?"

"Yes, sorta. It was a spur of the hormones, on the kitchen floor, kind of thing."

"Holy geez! My daughter actually has slutty tendencies. I have taught you well."

"Shut up." Rory giggled. "That's so not appropriate."

"And doing it in the same area as where food is prepared is?"

"We didn't do _it_. It was more like an appetizer."

Lorelai waved her off. "Okay, so obviously the boys aren't gay. What happened? I take it Prince Charming was royally pissed that his friend was messing around with his girlfriend."

"Not really. We broke up and it was surprisingly normal. Simon was angry at Jess for the betrayal, but he warned me not to hurt Jess." Rory sighed. "Basically, after a while, Jess and I started to see each other. Or something like that. Jess is cut off, emotionally speaking, but I thought it was just the way we got together and that he would calm down and open up after a while. But he didn't. We were basically just getting together for sex."

"Dirty."

"_Anyways_, he would have moments were he would open up but it just wasn't enough, you know. I asked him point blank one day what he considered us to be and commitment was obviously not an option. As hard as it was, I just didn't want to stay with him knowing for sure that we weren't going anywhere. He was just too intense to treat as a casual fling. It just hurt too much being with him and not having the possibility of it going anywhere. I mean, being with Jess wouldn't have been easy. I suppose we would have fought a lot to get over his issues, but there was something about Jess that wasn't there with Simon. I just couldn't stay there with him." Rory paused. "Does that make me sound bad?"

"No honey." Lorelai patted Rory's knee. "Not at all. When it comes to relationships, you should look out for yourself. Sacrifice for love is all well and good, but there is a point where you need to look out for yourself first and foremost. There's no shame in that. I'm proud of you for making that tough choice. Couldn't have been easy." Lorelai paused. "Did Jess make you think of forever and wedding bells?"

Rory chuckled. "God no. I can't picture Jess settling down with anyone. Ever."

"But he had something that Simon was lacking?"

"Yeah." Her voice turned wistful even if it was still confused. "It was something. He made me feel…alive. He made me think that relationships didn't have to be perfect to work. Though, what we had didn't qualify as a relationship. We would fight and even when I was angry I felt that something about him. It's weird. Now he's here. And I swear he seemed like he changed. I know that makes me sound like a spineless pathetic woman for saying that, but he did seem different. Some of that hardness wasn't there. Like the outer layer was chipped."

"Rory." Lorelai scooted off the bed and kneeled before her daughter. "You broke up with the guy for a reason."

"I know. It's just hard, you know."

"Yeah." The doorbell rang. "Come on, let's have some pizza and relax."

* * *

"Fucking hell!"

Jess blearily opened his eyes to the sound of a yelp and the feel of unsheathed claws on his bare chest. Killer hissed again and swiped her paw at a retreating hand. "What?"

"What the hell is wrong with that cat?"

"Si?"

Simon plopped his ass down on the floor next to the bed and rubbed at the small bead of blood on his hand. "Yeah, it's me. Call off your assassin, will ya?"

At the feel of Jess smoothing down her raised back, Killer suddenly turned soft and nuzzled Jess's chest. "Morning gorgeous." Killer purred against Jess's palm.

Simon scowled at Jess and the feline. "You've _got_ to be kidding. That thing takes a swipe out of me and you reward it with a rub and a smile?"

Jess chuckled. "She's a good girl." Killer rolled onto her back and flopped halfway off his chest, purring constantly. He patted her softly on the rump and shifted his weight to get out of bed. "Come on baby. Let me up." Killer jumped off and twined herself around Jess's legs as he started into the kitchen to start the coffee maker for Simon.

"Someone's got a crush on you." Simon muttered under his breath as he followed. "What are you doing with a cat anyways? Is it yours?"

Jess nodded. "Yep. Found her out back behind some trashcans. I didn't want to take her to the pound." He turned and glanced at his friend. "How did you get up here?"

"Luke."

Jess reached into the pantry for the coffee and scooped in a few spoonfuls. "He remember you?"

"You've introduced us a few times."

Killer jumped up onto the counter and meowed for attention. She batted at Jess's hand when he emptied kibble into a small bowl. "Hungry, Killer?"

Simon's lips twitched in humor. "You named your cat Killer? Still can't believe you're a pet owner. Remember how you once killed the chemistry class's gerbil?"

"It was a rabbit and biology class. And I didn't kill Darwin, I broke into the lab after hours and set him free."

"A coyote probably ate him that same night."

Jess scowled. "Hey, better that he have a chance out in the wild than certain death the next day."

"He wouldn't have died…you know what, why am I having this conversation?"

"Want one?" Jess held up a packet of Pop-Tarts. At Simon's nod, Jess slipped four of them into the toaster. "What are you doing here?"

"Your phone isn't working. What? They don't get reception here in the armpit of America?"

"Forgot my charger."

Simon shook his head and reached into his leather messenger bag and drew out his cell phone charger. "Here, take mine."

"Thanks. Everything all right back home?"

"Your publisher sent the contract for your new book. They didn't have your new home phone number and so they called my apartment."

Accepting the packet of papers, Jess sat down at the kitchen table. "You didn't have to bring them all the way here. You could've emailed them to me."

"Well, as your lawyer, I should be there while you look it over to make sure they're not ripping you off. Remember when you signed that one contract and they held onto the rights of the book when we needed them because you switched publishers?" Simon plucked out the Pop-Tarts and ripped off two sheets of paper towels to use as plates. "Ow, hot." Sucking on the tip of his burned thumb, he sat down adjacent to Jess. Simon eyed Killer wearily as she jumped up onto the table and circled the hot pastries with extreme interest. "Here." Simon broke off a small piece of the crust and watched as Killer delicately nibbled at it. When she finished she meowed and walked to the edge of the table to rub the underside of Simon's chin. "So you're bought with food. I've gotcha." She purred at his cooing and arched her back in pleasure. "You're pretty sweet once you stop all that hissing and clawing."

"She's a moody one. Took her to the pet store for food and a bed and this little girl comes up to pet her and Killer hisses like I dropped her in water or something."

"Moody cat for a moody man. Fits."

Jess chuckled. "Shut up."

Simon swallowed the remaining chunk of strawberry filling and glanced around the room. "How long have you been here?"

"Few days."

"And when are you coming home?"

Jess looked up with a negligent shrug. "Don't know. When I'm done with my research I guess. Or until Luke gets sick of me hanging around." Jess paused. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Rubbing at his forehead, Simon chuckled at the feel of Killer's rough tongue lapping at his fingers. "I just burned out. Needed some time out of the city. I'm killing myself at work these days."

Jess grimaced in sympathy. "Sorry man. You're welcome to hang out here for a few days if you want. I could use an ear to listen to plot ideas. Bouncing ideas off Killer isn't the same."

Simon smiled. "Sure."

"Want to take a walk around? Show you the town? It'll only take us like twenty minutes."

Simon snorted. "All right. Lead the way."

Jess donned a pair of wrinkly day old jeans and an old t-shirt with small holes due to one too many washings. "Ready?"

"Jeez Jess, don't bother fixing yourself up for me."

Eyeing Simon's immaculate pressed dress shirt and a pair of distressed jeans that probably cost hundreds just to look like its been aged, Jess shrugged but ignored him. "I'll see you later." He picked up Killer and settled her down on the bed.

"She going to be okay here by herself?" Simon followed Jess down the stairs and into the diner.

"Yeah. She's been fine the last couple days."

"I still can't believe in you're in a town where you can actually know everyone who lived in it. Is there even anything to do here…" Simon trailed off and his eyes widened to the size of plates.

Jess glanced over in the direction that Simon was staring and nonchantly confirmed the shock. "Oh yeah. By the way, Rory's here visiting her mom. And her mom is dating my uncle." Jess smirked. "Surprise."

Simon broke out into silent chuckles. "Shit. That's classic. How did you find out?"

Jess watched at Rory approached them and then quickly whispered, "Pretty much the same way as you just did."

Rory came up to the counter and sat down. "Morning."

They both nodded.

"This is a surprise." She smiled nervously and played with a spoon lying on the countertop.

"I came up to drop off some papers for Jess to sign."

Rory nodded, eyes still wide and tracking the men's subtle movements. "Right. Jess mentioned something about a new book."

"Yeah, I think this might an interesting new turn for him." Simon grinned knowing that Jess was still a little embarrassed to have 'sold out' to popular genre fiction. But he was proud of his friend, knowing that Jess's talent was versatile.

Jess squirmed under the scrutiny. "I'm still in the plotting phase. Nothing's concrete."

"Still sounds cool. I've never known an author before." Rory's voice softened along with her body language.

"There you are."

Both men stiffened at the sight of a tall guy approaching Rory. He tapped her shoulder and gave her a small peck on the cheek. Rory hadn't pulled away but she hadn't initiated anything more contact. "Dean. Hi."

Simon turned his head to the side and muttered under his breath, "Dean?"

Rory fidgeted, knowing full well how uncomfortable the situation had turned. Bad enough she was sitting in front of an ex-boyfriend and an ex-lover, but now Dean walked into the mix. "Dean, this is Simon Cannon and Jess Mariano. They're…friends from the city." If Dean noticed her slight hesitation, he didn't mention it.

"Hi." He offered his hand to shake. "Dean Forrester. Nice to meet you."

Jess grunted and while Simon wanted to chuckle at his friend's emotional transparency, he also wanted to get the hell out of the diner. "Hey." At the sight of Jess's glare of Dean sitting down next to Rory, Simon motioned to the door with the tilt of his head. "Actually, Jess was going to show me around. So, we'll just leave you two."

Jess was still busy staring at Rory and Dean so Simon prodded him in the back until Jess began to move. "Let's go. Shedding blood in your uncle's diner isn't polite."

* * *

Jess concentrated on breathing in and out as Simon walked quietly beside him. It was one thing knowing that he wasn't good for Rory but the sight of her with another man was an entirely different thing. It was disconcerting to feel…jealous? He scoffed and attracted a curious look from Simon, but Jess ignored it. Jess Mariano didn't get jealous. Never in his life did he feel jealous over a woman. Never.

"I'm guessing from your reaction that you didn't know there was a Dean in her life."

Jess shook his head. "The first day I got here I ran into her at the diner. We talked a little bit and I offered to leave if it was too uncomfortable, but she said no and left. This is only the second time I've seen her." He sat down on a park bench and rested elbows on knees. "Jesus! You'd think she could warn me. _Hey Jess, nice to see you. By the way, the guy I'm fucking is also in town_."

Simon winced at the harsh tone but relaxed his body against the bench. "Sorry."

"He looked like the kinda guy we would never be friends with."

Simon chuckled. "We're not friends with anybody. No one can put up with us."

"True."

"Jess," Simon started hesitantly, "You haven't been with Rory for a few months. It's not like you guys just broke up yesterday."

"I know." Jess sighed. "It's not reasonable for me to feel this way. She didn't want to be with me and I agreed. I don't have any rights over her."

Simon shrugged. "There isn't usually a lot of reasoning when it comes to love."

Jess recoiled visibly. "Who said anything about love?"

"Uh, you?"

"Hell no." He shook his head vehemently to deny the statement. "Just because I don't like coming face to face with the guy that she's sleeping with doesn't mean that I love her."

"You don't have a problem seeing me face to face." Simon pointed out cheekily.

"That's different. But I still don't want to dwell on the fact that we've both slept with her."

Simon made a face. "You're right."

Pausing, Jess replayed the diner scene in his head, trying to pick out the little details. "Did she look happy to you?"

"She looked uncomfortable. But I'd be uncomfortable too faced with two ex's."

Jess sighed but stretched out his legs. "Damn, life gets complicated when you're older, doesn't it?"

"Yup."

* * *

Jess woke up groggy to the sound of his phone ringing. A glance to the clock that read seven in the evening alerted him to the fact that he'd fallen asleep compiling his notes on his computer. "Hello?"

"Hey man."

Jess rubbed his face, feeling the stubble on his cheeks and chin. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Not much. Finished up some work. Hey, did you know that the inn I'm staying at is owned by Lorelai Gilmore?"

"And the world gets that much smaller."

Simon chuckled. "Yeah. What are you doing for dinner? I'm starved."

"We can eat at the diner."

"Okay. See you in twenty."

Jess hung up the phone and swung his legs over the side of the couch, expecting to be greeted with green feline eyes looking at him. He glanced around the room unable to find her. "Killer?" Jess stood up and went into the kitchen, finding only a bare counter top and no cat. "Killer? Where are you baby?" Randomly ducking under furniture and a cursory glance to the bed still didn't show the small tabby anywhere. Jess quickly opened the door and jogged down the stairs.

"Luke!"

Luke poked his head around the corner, hands full of plates. "What?"

"Have you seen Killer? She's not upstairs."

Luke looked amused at the name. "You mean the scrawny cat that is now sitting on my counter top?"

Jess whirled around to see Killer sitting contently with her tail flicking back and forth. Bits of foamy milk clung to her tiny whiskers and she meowed at the sight of him. "Oh thank god. I thought I lost you." He reached for her and she went willingly, clinging to his t-shirt with her claws as he brought her to his chest. "How did you get out?"

"Luke went into the apartment to grab an order form and I think she snuck out that way."

Jess finally noticed that Killer had been sitting in front of Rory who was taking in the situation with an odd look in her eyes. "Oh."

"I think she was exploring. That is, until she saw my cookie and jumped for it."

Jess chuckled, rubbing the underside of Killer's belly. "Simon's been sneaking her food."

Rory smiled lightly. "Well she liked the snicker doodle all right."

"I'm surprised she didn't claw you or anything. She's got a mean streak."

Rory held up her forearm that showed a small red scratch. "She did. But she calmed down once she realized that I was willing to share."

Jess winced. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"Now that you've shared food, she'll follow you anywhere. That's how Simon won her over."

Rory smiled and gently petted Killer's flank. "We have that in common, don't we sweetie? I can be bought with food as well." Rory looked up at Jess and her smiled dimmed. "Look Jess, about earlier today…"

Jess shook his head and cuddled Killer a little closer to him. "No, you don't need to tell me."

"Still, I want to explain."

"No." Jess's eyes hardened. "I really don't want to hear it Rory."

Rory's mouth snapped shut but she nodded, though her expression now mirrored her hurt. "Right. I understand." And even though she knew she shouldn't continue, the words just tumbled right out of her mouth. "But Dean and I have this history and I came back for a visit and he was here as well and it just—"

"Rory. Stop."

"Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. We're not together anymore." Jess caught sight of Simon from the corner of his eye and saw that he was surprised at the sight.

Rory's eyes flashed with definite anger. Grabbing Jess's sleeve, she dragged him into the backroom. "What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? Excuse me for not wanting to hear all about your new boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend. Not that it's any of your business."

"Right. If it's not my business then why do you keep bringing it up?"

Rory huffed. "I just wanted to explain. I didn't want you to think that—"

"What? That you jumped from one bed to the next?"

Rory recoiled at the words but she stood her ground, anger building and pushing at the seams. "You would know all about that wouldn't you?"

Jess barely stopped the wince at her words. Instantly, he knew he shouldn't have said that. "Rory—"

She held up a hand. "Forget it. You've made your opinion perfectly clear." Backing up quickly, she bumped into Simon holding Killer in his arms and left both men staring after her.

* * *

"Okay." Simon struggled to keep up with Jess's rapid furious pace out the door while juggling a squirming Killer in his arms. "You realize that you basically called her a whore, right?"

"Oh god." Jess sat down randomly on a patch of grass and dumped his head into his hands. "Don't say it. I know I just went way over the line. Even for me, that was too much."

Simon squatted next to him, stroking a now placid kitten. "In all fairness she did imply that you were a whore right back 'atcha."

"I think," Jess's eyes glazed over, "that Uncle Mike would be jumping for joy at the chance to examine my seriously fucked up head."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Jess replaying the conversation in his mind while Simon looked around and scratched Killer's ears. When she started to mewl in pleasure, Simon smiled at her. "Hey gorgeous. Look what Uncle Simon has for you." He reached into his pocket and produced a tiny bright blue collar with a circular tag attached.

Jess looked at Simon in shock. "You _so_ did not just say that."

Simon just shrugged. "Fits you just right, doesn't it." He attached the small collar and adjusted the tag to hand down near her chest.

"What does it say?" Jess flipped over the small silver tag. "_Beware of Killer_. Funny."

Simon grinned unrepentantly. "I thought so." Simon tucked Killer back into the nook of his shoulder and clucked his tongue. "I realize we're going to be examining that disaster conversation into the wee hours of the night, but what are we doing for dinner? I'm still hungry."

Jess shook his head and barked a chuckle. Soon, he was laughing uncontrollably at the situation. "Yeah. Let's put Killer back into the apartment and try to find a restaurant."

* * *

The doorbell chimed and Jess waited impatiently as he heard footsteps behind the closed door.

"Hello."

Jess squirmed under her gaze and shuffled his feet. "Hi. Is Rory here?"

Lorelai eyed the two cups of coffee in his hand. "Is one of those for me?"

"Uh, sure."

Lorelai's eyes filled with glee as she sipped. "Yuck! This isn't coffee!"

Jess tried to contain his chuckle. "That's 'cause I only drink tea. And this one," he wiggled the other cup, "is for Rory."

Giving him an evil glare, she stood to the side, letting him pass through the threshold. "Fine. But next time you need to give me something."

"Like a gatekeeper."

"I'm guarding the river Styx."

Jess rolled his eyes. "I'll come with a coin next time."

"Mom, who are you talking to?" Jess saw Rory peek around the corner, clad braless in a tank top and boxer shorts. "What are you doing here?" She glared at him, obviously still angry from last night.

"Rory, can I speak to you for a minute?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "No."

Lorelai raised her brows. "He brought you a present."

"Don't care."

Jess sighed. She wasn't going to make this easy. "Rory, please." He edged forward, voice soft. "I want to…apologize for last night."

"What happened last night?"

Rory's eyes widened. "Mom!"

"Sorry." Lorelai threw her hands up and grabbed her keys off a hook hanging on the wall. "I'm going to see Luke for breakfast."

"You can't just leave."

"Why?" Lorelai grinned. "You two need to talk and I'm in need of coffee and waffles. Later gator."

At the sound of the door clicking shut, Rory turned mutinous. "Leave."

Jess shook his head. "No." He handed the coffee to her. "Here. It's a peace offering."

She eyed it like it was going to jump out at her. "No thanks."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Don't be so stubborn and suspicious. It's just coffee." He took a sip to prove a point. "Take it."

"Fine." She gulped it, letting the caffeine burn into her mouth. "Now leave."

"Shit, Rory. Can't you just let me apologize without all this fuss?" Jess stepped forward and stood right in front of her. "Look, I was way out of line last night with what I said. I'm sorry. You just…caught me off guard when I saw you with _that guy_." He sneered the last part, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice.

Rory's body language relaxed but her eyes were still angry. "Okay. Apology accepted."

"Rory. I'm sorry. Really. Just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean that all of my attraction to you just vanished." He tilted his head to the side, catching the softness of her eyes. "It also doesn't make it any easier to see you with another guy. Not when all I want to do is kiss you."

Rory's eyes snapped up with that whispered confession. "Jess…" She wanted to step back, get away from his magnetic pull, but she couldn't. She just stood stock still. "We shouldn't."

"No?" One palm came up to cup her cheek. "Just one kiss?"

Her face crumpled, eyes squeezing shut in denial. If she didn't see him, she wouldn't want to kiss him again. "No." But her body said yes. She clutched his bicep, digging her short nails into his skin.

"Tell me to stop." His breath whispered tangy and slight sweet from his tea across her mouth. "Tell me you're not still attracted to me. Tell me and I'll leave."

"I'm not attracted to you." She stepped closer.

"Then let go of me Rory." His other hand snaked around her waist.

"You first."

Jess leaned down, brushing his lips softly against the surface of hers. "No." He pulled her closer, fitting her into his body, every one of his hard planes cushioned by her soft feminine curves. He moved confidently against her, tongue dancing lightly across the seam of her lips until she opened up for him, drawing him in. When she moaned, he reached up and fisted her hair, deepening the kiss.

Rory squirmed. She couldn't get enough of his kiss. It was addicting. She felt Jess's hand wander down her back, sweeping up and down, gentling her, heating her from the inside out. With one hand in her hair, tilting her head back, the other slid down to cup her bottom, lifting her and notching against his growing arousal. She clamored onto his body, knee wrapping around his waist, drawing his hardness into the vee of her body. "Oh god."

"Fuck." Jess trailed kisses down the side of her neck, sucking the skin and soothing the sting with his tongue. "Rory." Jess gasped her name at the feel of her squeezing her thighs around his waist. "If you don't stop me now, I'm going to be inside you in the next minute." His hand came up to her tank top, shaping her breast in his palm. "Rory?"

She bowed forward at the feel of his thumb flicking across her hardened nipple. "Jess…"

"Last warning," his breath fanned hotly across her clavicle, "say no before I have you laid out on this table and your panties around your ankles."

She pushed against his chest. "Stop." She released his waist, her legs feeling like jelly. "I'm sorry." Rory ducked her chin to her chest, ashamed for having led him on and then putting on the breaks so suddenly. "I'm sorry Jess."

He licked his swollen hips, pulling her tank top back down to cover her bare stomach. "No, nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn't have done that."

"I was a willing participant." She glanced up at him, taking in his disheveled hair.

Jess shamelessly adjusted himself through his jeans, wincing at the discomfort. "I should get going."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Bye Rory."

She watched him stalk out of the room and when he was gone, she felt his missing presence like it was a palpable feeling. "Yeah…bye."

Lorelai was about to open the front door when it flung open on its own, Jess on the other side, hair rumpled and an errectioin obvious even though his jeans. "Oh god!" She whirled around with a take out box in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. "Go, go. I didn't see you."

Jess shook his head but stepped around her without another glance. Lorelai rushed into the kitchen to see her daughter perched up on the table, legs swinging and her gaze distant. "Mom!"

"What is with you and that guy and kitchens?"

Rory wrung her hands and her bottom lip tucked into the front of her teeth. "I think I might have a problem."

Lorelai made a face and dumped the food on the counter next to the sink. "Least of which is that we're never going to be able to eat on that table again."

"Mom..." Rory whispered, "I don't think I'm over him."

"Oh honey." Lorelai stepped forward and engulfed her daughter in a hug. "Let's have some breakfast first and we can talk after okay?"

Rory nodded and hopped off the table to change her clothes.

Lorelai gazed down at the table and eyed the scattered papers. She shook her head and changed her mind. "On second thought, we're going to eat in the living room instead."

* * *

**AN: Please read and review. Thanks.**


	9. From the Beginning

**A Gradual Descent**

Chapter 9: From the Beginning

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN:** Yes, it's been **forever**. I have no excuses to offer that'll make up for it, so I offer this chapter. And since it's been forever, you might want to brush up what happened in previous chapters. I know I had to go back and read what I'd written.

Enjoy!

Summary: Literati. She refused to be a cliché, falling for the seemingly dangerous guy when she was with the safer one. He refused to let the innocent girl of his friend to make him feel something unwanted. He'd tease, flirt, and have his fun, but they're both unprepared by the need to be with one another. AU.

* * *

She banged her head on the back of the couch, the squishy feeling of the cushions ruining the effect. "Mom, what is wrong with me?" Rory extended the last word and turned it into a pathetic whine.

"Honey, why were you with Dean in the first place?"

Rory looked down, shamefaced. "I ran into him the other day and we were just talking…"

"Rory." Lorelai's firm voice halted Rory's ramblings.

"It's nice to be wanted." Rory admitted quietly, picking at a loose thread of an afghan that was thrown over the back of the couch.

"Aw honey." Lorelai reached over to rub Rory's back. "So what? Did you think sleeping with Dean was going to help you get over Jess?"

"I don't know. And we didn't sleep together."

"Who, you and Dean?"

"It felt weird. Wrong." Rory sighed. "I just...ugh! Jess just...he hurt me!"

"You were the one to break things off with him," Lorelai pointed out quietly.

"I know! I know that!" Anger rushed through Rory and she shot to her feet. "What else could I do? The guy was using me for sex."

"Was he?"

"I don't know what it was, but all we were doing was sleeping together. We never spent time doing any 'couple' things. He never opened up about his life or asked me much about mine. We didn't take walks or go out for coffee or a movie. He just showed up at my apartment and being the idiot that I am, once he started taking off his clothes, I apparently lost my brain!"

Lorelai couldn't help but giggle. "I'm sorry," she held out her hands in surrender, "I don't mean to laugh, but it just sounds so funny coming out of you."

"Mom, this isn't a laughing matter." Rory's head lolled back and forth as she sat back down on the couch in defeat. "Seriously, I have a problem. No, you know what?" Rory gestured wildly, "Jess is the one with the problem! What is with that man? I mean, after everything that happened with me and Simon and him and Simon, you'd think he would want to be with me. Be together."

"Honey." Lorelai looked at Rory. "Does he even know how?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, from what you've told me about Jess, it's obvious that boy doesn't know the first thing about being in a relationship. And if things started out so intense for you, you can't expect him to jump for joy at having just stolen his best friend's girlfriend. The only thing he knew for sure was that you were compatible in bed and that's what he did." Rory opened her mouth to argue but Lorelai raised her brows and continued before Rory could edge in a word. "I'm not saying what he did was right, but all I'm saying that if you want to be with a man like Jess, someone who's slightly damaged, relationship wise, then you're going to have to be extremely patient in things like him opening up to you with emotions and his past. You can't expect him to be the so-called perfect boyfriend. But Ror, there is no perfect boyfriend. And if you expect Jess to fit into that cookie cutter shape, you're just damning the relationship from the start."

"Jess isn't damaged," Rory mumbled, conceding to the fact that her mom made a good point. She did have high hopes for her relationship with Jess; maybe her expectations were unattainable.

"Rory, everyone is a little bumped and bruised from their past relationships with family, friends, and boyfriends and girlfriends. Even you. But maybe Jess has been knocked around one too many time, so to speak. He clearly doesn't know how to deal with a girlfriend."

"You should see this guy's dating record. It reads like an entire alphabet of a black book. And it's not a little black book, it's like the freaking phone book!"

"That's just sex to him. Do you think Jess has ever had a girlfriend?" Lorelai asked.

Rory calmed down. "So you're basically saying that I was too hard on him."

Lorelai shook her head. "No, I'm not saying that either. You thought you were doing the right thing by breaking it off a relationship that didn't have a future. What I am saying is that maybe you did so prematurely. Are you so sure there was no future?"

"He said he didn't know what he wanted."

"Maybe he was just being honest. Not everyone plans out their lives or have five year goals like you do."

Rory shrugged. "I guess."

"I know that scares you but you've always chosen guys in the past who knew what they wanted out of life. They knew where they wanted to go to school, what cars they were going to buy, the career, the perfect ideal family…and look where it got you. None of those guys were right for you. Maybe this is a good change of pace for you."

"Jess has a great career. He's famous and doing what he loves." Rory couldn't help but defend him a little. He mom made him sound like a vagrant or something.

"Then he's not totally flying by the seat of his pants, is he? He achieved some of his goals."

Rory gave a rueful grin. "Can't blame this all on him, can I? Guess he's not the only one who needs to grow up." She got up. "Do you mind if I just…" She gestured towards the door.

Lorelai smiled. "Go."

* * *

Rory hurried out of her childhood home, tucking her arms into a zip up sweatshirt as she quickened her steps along the sidewalk. After the spontaneous make out session in the kitchen, she knew she wasn't as over Jess as she thought. And going to Dean was obviously a bad idea. Yes, they had dated in high school and he was a friend that she occasionally saw, Rory had originally gone to see him because she felt lonely. She wanted someone. But going to Dean only made it clear that she wanted Jess.

She wanted the guy who made her so angry that she could actually believe that it was possible for steam to come out of your ears like in the cartoons. She wanted the guy who could make her scream in frustration one minute and scream for a whole another reason the next, and not in frustration. He was the one that got her fired up; who was adventurous in bed and had a mouth like a sailor. Who would whisper naughty things in her ear while he stroked her body and entered her from behind. The guy that cuddled her afterwards in a tenderness that seemed so at odds with his character. She wanted that man.

And her mom was right, she had expected too much from the relationship with Jess. She had applied her normal relationship standards to a man who wasn't standard. But she also couldn't wait forever. She refused to be in a relationship that was going absolutely nowhere, but she needed to understand that with Jess, his timetable just moved a lot slower than normal. And she should have been more understanding. As Rory made her way to the diner, she could only hope that Jess would meet her halfway because she was willing to compromise, but she wasn't willing to forget everything she wanted and valued in life and relationships just for him.

* * *

The bell jingled behind her and Rory straightened her spine and headed towards the back stairs.

"Rory?"

Her head whipped around and saw Simon sitting at the counter nursing a milkshake of all things at seven thirty in the morning. He offered her his charming quirky smile and gestured to the seat next to him, which wasn't completely empty. Killer sat perched next to Simon, looking very interested at the food laid out in front of her.

"Do you have a minute?"

Rory, tired and frazzled, had a flash of a previous conversation with Simon when he had warned her off from Jess. Had he already spoken to Jess this morning? Or maybe he caught sight of his friend and now saw her and put two and two together. "Simon, I'm not really in the mood to duel it out with you."

Simon's eyes flashed but then settled back down. "Are you in the mood for a cup of coffee?"

"Are we going to talk about Jess?"

He shook his head. "Not right now."

"Okay."

Simon scooped up Killer and plopped her down on his lap, making room for Rory. He reached over and grabbed an empty mug and filled it himself. Rory arched a brow. "Now you're playing waiter?"

"I was asking for so many refills that Luke just gave me the whole pot." He smirked.

"Thanks."

The sat quietly for a few minutes, each of them sipping their coffee and mulling over their thoughts. Once in a while, Simon stroked Killers soft fur, following the lean length down her back. "Rory," Simon turned his head, "I just wanted to say that I enjoyed our time together."

Rory smiled softly. "I did too. I know our breakup wasn't that much of a shock given that both of us knew something was up, but I don't regret anything. We had fun, didn't we?"

"Yeah."

"I think you're a real gentleman, Simon. Really."

His smile curled into a self-deprecating one. "But the girls only want the bad boys."

"Is that why you think Jess and I happened?"

Simon paused. "Yes and no."

"What do you mean?"

"There's something about Jess that draws people in. I know that. Even though I'm not a woman, I know there's something. Something about him being so mysterious, I guess. Every girl wants to heal him."

The way that Simon worded things gave Rory pause. "Do you think I want to heal him?"

"Don't you?" Simon saw the hurt and anger bubbling up and back peddled. "I don't mean to lump you in with the crowd, Rory. I'm just simply asking a question."

"It's okay. I know I'm one in many."

Simon reached over and touched her gently on the forearm. "Don't sell yourself short. You know you mean more to him than any of those girls. And yes, I think that in a way, you want to heal him. Love is the ultimate band aid, right?"

Rory's heart stuttered as if she was coming up on some big answer. "What's wrong in my feeling like I can help?"

"Nothing. I know you like to help. It's how you show that you care." Simon smiled softly and he heard the innocence in Rory's voice. "But being in a relationship with him with some altruistic goal in mind isn't healthy. Though what do I know about healthy relationships." He chuckled under his breath.

"More than Jess." Rory sipped at her coffee. "It wasn't all about the healing, you know. There's…chemistry between me and him."

"I'm sure there was." He glanced at Rory's face and reconsidered his words. "I'm sure there _is_?"

Rory's face heated all the way down to her neck. "Jess came to my house this morning."

"I see." He finished off his coffee and slipped his phone out of his pocket, thumbing his way through his Blackberry. "I've got to fax off some work to the office. I need to make some calls. Can you take Killer up to the apartment?"

"Yeah, sure." Rory knew what Simon was doing; he gave her the perfect opportunity to see Jess.

Simon stood up and bent down to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Listen, Rory, whatever happens, happens. If Jess is what you want, go for it. Don't think that it'll be a problem for me. You and I," he ran his hand through his hair, his gesture much like Jess, "weren't meant to be. And my friendship with Jess will survive this. Actually, it's gotten a lot better now that we've learned to live on our own."

Rory looked puzzled. "Live on your own? What happened to the apartment?"

"Jess didn't tell you that he moved out? It's been months."

"We didn't really have a chance to talk much this morning."

"Got it." Simon chuckled. "You know, I'll tell you, I've never seen Jess so torn up about a girl before. That honor goes solely to you. I think you're good for him. Shake up his world a bit. Teach him that women are supposed to be more than bed warmers. Things might not have come to pass as smoothly as everyone would have liked, but hell, it'd be a good story to tell your grandchildren."

"I didn't say I wanted to be with him."

Simon smiled. "And you didn't say you didn't."

* * *

Rory walked up the stairs with her back straight and a sleepy kitten in her arms. She raised Killer up to eye level and nuzzled her nose with her own. "Wish me luck?" Killer was startled awake and hissed, baring her tiny teeth in annoyance. Rory snorted. "You really picked the right guy to keep you."

She knocked lightly and waited for an answer. "Jess?" Rory knocked again and tried to lock. Finding it unlocked, she poked her head in and when Killer sprung out of her arms and skittered away into the bedroom, Rory hesitantly followed. She walked past the kitchen that had a few PopTart wrappers lying around on the table. Jess's clothes were haphazardly thrown in the vicinity of an open duffle bag. She braced herself for the image of a sprawled out Jess on a messy bed but found rumpled covers instead. Killer had curled up on the pillow and gone back to sleep.

The sound of the shower drew her gaze to a closed door and Rory contemplated just waiting him out on the bed but dismissed the idea as rude. She knocked on it instead. "Jess?"

She heard a clatter and a muttered four-letter word come out behind the door. "Rory?" He sounded surprised.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm returning Killer." Rory bit her lip. "I mean, Simon asked me to bring Killer back up here."

"Okay."

"And," Rory lifted her hand out to pick at a piece of peeling paint away from the door that stood between them, "I came to talk to you."

"Give me a moment."

She back away from the bathroom and sat on the bed, taking stock of his heavy silver watch on the nightstand and his keys and sunglasses next to the alarm clock. The door swung open to revel Jess clad in a pair of worn blue jeans and nothing else. "Hi."

Jess's face uncharacteristically softened at the sight of her and he didn't look in the mood for a fight. "Hey. Didn't think I'd see you for a while."

"Yes." Rory's gaze followed a few stray water drops make their way from his dripping hair down over his pecs and mingling in the ridges of his abdominals. "I know I have a habit of running away."

"Well, that makes two of us."

Rory liked how they were able to make fun of each other without a hint of malice between them. "I came to clear the air between us, I guess."

"There's air to clear?"

In the moment, while she looked up at Jess, Rory forgot about all the hurt between them. She just wanted to be truthful with him and receive the same from him in return. "Why is it always so hard between us, Jess?"

His bare shoulder shrugged. "I'm kinda screwed up."

"Yeah." Rory's smile bellied the statement. "But I'm not perfect either." Rory smiled ruefully. "I want to say that I'm sorry."

He looked shocked. "For what?"

"For expecting so much out of you. Out of the relationship."

"What do you mean?"

"It freaked me out that all we were doing was having sex. I was afraid that we were only compatiable in the bed and nowhere else. I wanted a connection with you that went beyond sex. But I expected things from you that I think you weren't ready to give me because maybe you just hadn't given them in the past to other women."

"I don't get it."

"I don't know exactly what your past with women have been about, but I gather it hasn't been all that great or serious, right?" At his nod, she continued. "And so I think I was expecting you to give me something that you didn't know how to give. And I hadn't shown you that I was worthy of your trust for you to give it back."

"No, that's not true. You don't have to earn anything with me."

She shrugged. "I know. I just meant that I guess since we started off so weird, we skipped the whole 'get to know you' phase. We went straight to the serious relationship phase."

Jess came close to her; close enough to feel the exchange of body heat. "That did kind of throw me off. For one thing, I've never had a serious relationship. And it was wrong of me to keep you at arm's distance. I knowingly did that and I was such an ass."

She smiled. "I think we can agree on that."

Jess chuckled.

"Simon mentioned that you moved out."

"Yeah." Jess sat down next to her on the bed and stared straight ahead. "I like it. Different, of course. It's weird not coming home to see Simon and going out for a beer or something, but I think the change has been good for us. I feel grown up. Funny, isn't it?" He smiled.

"What brought on the change?"

His reply was swift. "You."

"Me?" Her gaze swung around to his.

"I moved out right after we broke up. There was something really screwed up about me that I needed to fix on my own. I couldn't rely on Simon or anyone for that matter to make things better. I just needed to get my life into perspective."

"And have you?"

He shrugged. "More or less. It's been lonely, but good for me. Get my ducks in a row."

Rory giggled. "You've got ducks?"

"Yeah." Jess smiled and hesitated. He had a lot he wanted to say and felt that he might has well take the plunge, even though it was highly uncharacteristic for him. "I owe you an apology, Ror. For how I've used you, for how I treated you these past few days, and for coming to you this morning and jerking you around like that. I want to explain even though I know it doesn't excuse it, I still want to tell you."

"Okay."

"I," Jess started and faltered, unsure of his words. "I wasn't sure how to handle things. What happened with Simon was complicated and I wished that I hadn't taken his girlfriend. And then there you were. I wanted to stay away from you but I couldn't. I just couldn't resist. I just wanted you and I took it. Blame it on chemistry or on the fact that you and Simon weren't working out anyway, but it was wrong and I knew it. But when we were together, I tried not to let things get too serious. I thought that if I kept you in bed where I was used to things being that I could handle it all. But when you realized it and asked for more…well, we both know how that ended up."

Rory reached down for Jess's hand and held it, palm to palm. "I figured all of this. But thank you for saying it out loud."

Jess's head dipped down, ashamed for what he was going to say. "I'm no good for you Rory. If you had any sense at all, you'd keep away from me."

Shocked, she reached out to cup his cheek and brought up his gaze. "Maybe I don't want to keep away."

He sighed and brought his arm around her, banding around her waist and tucking her into his body. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that being with you isn't a walk in the park."

He chuckled. "I know."

"And I don't expect you to be perfect. As long as you get this notion of me being perfect out of your mind as well. I'm not some princess to put up on a pedestal. I'm just human. I'm going to make mistakes too and you've got to excuse them once in a while." She took a breath and settled her weight into the crook of his body. "And I'm saying that I can't resist you."

_That_ brought his head up. "What?"

"I'm saying that we had a lousy start. What with this whole mess with you, Simon, and me. I want to start again. Get to know each other for real this time. No insulting each other or you telling me to stay away from Simon and him telling me to not hurt you. I want to be normal this time. Date."

"Do I have to start all the way back at first base?"

Rory giggled. "Yes."

"Damn."

She sobered. "But I want some commitment this time Jess. I'm not talking about rings, but I want something from you. I want the possibility of a future together. I'm not expecting forever. If things don't work out in the end, then they don't and I won't regret my time with you. But I'm going into this a second time around constantly wondering if you're taking me seriously."

"You drive a hard bargain." Jess couldn't help but nuzzle the soft skin of Rory's neck.

"Are you agreeing?"

Jess laid a soft kiss to her jaw, unable to stop from stealing a taste of her. She tasted like peaches and sunshine. It reminded him of everything he craved because she tasted like something he wasn't. "Yes. I give up. Being without you sucks and I'm sick of pretending that I prefer to be alone. So if a commitment is what you need, then I'll do my best not to fuck it up. No promises, but I'll try."

"That's all I want." She turned her head and caught his lips with hers. Softly, as if it was their first kiss, she molded her lips to his. They fit nicely together. She caught his lower lip and teased it open with shy licks. When he opened for her, he angled their mouths strongly together. He took over the kiss, tasting like sex and sin. He was like a thundering storm and she, the sunlight after the rain.

Pulling back with his breathing ragged, he panted. "We can go back and do the dating thing later but I've got to touch you now." He pulled at her sweatshirt, unzipping it. His hand instantly went to cup her breast through her tank top and he groaned at the familiar but tantalizing weight. "I've got to be inside you."

"Yes." She moaned at the feel of his thumb teasing her nipple into a sharp point.

His mouth worked along her jaw and down towards her body as he levered himself over her and went to work removing her clothes. Rory attacked the button fly of his jeans and pushed them down with her hands and feet, desperate to feel some skin-to-skin contact. She caught a flash of movement and saw that Killer had jumped off the bed as soon as Jess started to push her down.

Jess sucked hard at the curve of her neck, feeling the primal need to mark her as his woman. But his hands were gentle on her, working the shallow curve of her breasts and the feminine dip of her waist. He reveled in the softness beneath him as he laid her naked body beneath him. Jess's arms were under her, supporting her shoulder blades as his mouth traveled down to her breasts. His hot breath teased her skin into goose bumps, her nipples tightened and darkened to a deep rose. Unable to resist the offering, Jess suckled one into his mouth, his cheeks hallowing with every deep pull.

Rory was feeling the desperate need for release as her hips pushed up against Jess's boxer-clad erection. She felt him harden and his hips responded to her movements, pushing down into her, seeking her warmth. "Jess."

"You taste so damn good." When his head dipped further down her body, Rory tightened in response. Jess coaxed her legs open as he sifted and gently petted her. "No, don't hide from me." Without an ounce of hesitance, Jess opened her to his gaze and lapped at the taste of her. It was dizzying to his senses and he nearly came when he felt her push her hips against his tongue. "That's it."

"Jess, it's too much."

"No it's not." He licked at her, alternating between soft laps and hard wet thrusts of his tongue. "Come for me."

When Rory felt Jess add two fingers into the mix, she squirmed for him to hit the right spot. And when Jess closed his lips around the throbbing knot of nerves and used his fingers to probe within her, she cried out and gripped fistfuls his hair tightly. Sparks went off behind her closed lids and she felt Jess stay with her, gentling her down from a startling climax with soft kisses. When she came back down and regained feeling in her limbs, she let go of Jess's hair and found him resting his cheek on her inner thigh. "Wow."

Jess chuckled and stole her breath away when he deliberately and sensually licked his upper lip and then sucked the bottom one into his mouth. "Hmm, yummy."

She couldn't control the full body blush that stole across her body, heating her already sparkling nerve endings. One could never accuse Jess Mariano of being a shy lover.

He came up onto the pillows and switched their positions, placing her on top. With a deep kiss, she tasted herself and found it be a slightly shocking but a bit sexy. He smiled up at her as he settled her on his hips, with his erection looking swollen and angry at being denied any action. Jess palmed himself and treated Rory's wide-eyed gaze to a few lazy strokes where his thumb circled the head and down again. "This is your show, sweetheart." Jess got up on his elbows. "Ride me."

Rory was breathless but also excited at being given free reign from a man that she knew from experienced liked to be in control. This was Jess's way of giving her something of his. "Condom?"

He jerked his head in the direction of the nightstand. "There's only two."

"Didn't pack much, huh?"

Jess got an embarrassed look and Rory marveled at the blush that appeared. "I didn't pack them."

"So how do you have condoms?"

Jess raised a brow in reply.

"Oh god!" Rory covered her face with her hands. "Don't tell me these are Luke's."

"Okay I won't tell you. But please hurry and put it on me."

She was embarrassed as hell at the thought of not only having sex up in Luke's apartment but using his birth control as well. Rory really didn't want to think too much about it. To distract herself from bad mental images, she tore open the wrapper and concentrated on him as she unrolled it onto Jess. He was hard and velvety soft in her palm. She gave him a sweet kiss on top when she finished the condom that had him growling at the sight.

"Next time." He smirked. "For now, I've got to be in you."

Rory took him into her body slowly, rocking them into a rhythm that had them panting from the sheer delicious feeling of it all. When it wasn't enough, she dug her fingers into his chest and told him in a breathless voice, "You finish us."

Jess quickly flipped them over and draped her knees over his shoulder as he dove into her faster and faster, seeking that elusive ending for them both. When his muscles tightened in signal that his orgasm was coming, he rubbed his thumb in tight circles where Rory needed it most. Her inner muscles clenched and as she went headlong into her own climax, she squeezed and milked him into his. Jess swallowed her cry into his kiss as his body tightened rhythmically. He continued to lazily thrust into her until the last of her tremors racked through their bodies. With a satisfied smile, he lay down and pulled her into his arms.

* * *

Rory woke to a bright room with sunlight steaming in through the open drapes. Though there was sun, the air was chilly and she snuggled back into Jess's warmth. He was curled tight behind her. One of his legs was wedged between hers and the arm at her waist tightened as she tried to turn around to face him.

He opened his eyes slowly and his sleepy smile matched his drowsy gaze. "Hey."

"Hi."

He pulled her in for a kiss, soft and sweet. He lingered close to her and rubbed their noses together for an Eskimo kiss. "That was amazing. It felt like the top of my head was coming off when I came."

"You're good at this dirty talk." Rory's face flushed.

Jess smirked and kissed her nose, inhaling the scent of peaches. "So what do we do now? Do I call you for a date?"

Rory laughed. "You could. Or we can get dressed and go down and have breakfast. Do you have plans for today? We could just hang out at my house and watch movies and veg."

"Sounds good."

They got up and showered together filled with wandering hands and sloppy wet kisses. It eventually led to slow shower sex where the heat of the water heightened their senses and even though things got messy, they got creative and it ended with Jess's hoarse shout of satisfaction as Rory tightened around him. They got dressed and laughed at their rumbling stomachs.

* * *

Sitting down at the corner booth, Rory didn't protest when Jess pulled her down to sit next to him, his arm tight around her waist as his chin on her shoulder as he perused the menu. Luke shot them a funny look but kept otherwise quiet when he took their orders. Jess fiddled with the napkin holder and spoke nonchalantly though he was burning to ask. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"That guy I saw you with the other day, is that anything I have to worry about?"

Rory pursed her lips, thinking about what he was talking about. "Dean, you mean."

"The giant, yeah."

She gave him a mild look of reproach. "We dated when we were kids back in high school. And we just hung out a couple of times since I've been here. Nothing serious. So no, nothing you have to worry about."

"Since I agreed to this commitment thing, I expect there to be no one but us. Three's a crowd you know."

She wisely kept silent on all the implications of their weird Jess-Simon-Rory trio and just smiled, tilting her head in flirtation. "I thought it was every guy's dream to have a threesome."

Jess shrugged and sipped at his orange juice. "They're not all they're cracked up to be."

Her mouth dropped open and she leaned closer as she whispered, "You've had a threesome before?"

He smiled. "It was a drunken thing back in college." Jess feathered a kiss over her eyelids and whispered back, "I much prefer you. Though if you want to get kinky, I'd be totally up for that."

Rory laughed. "Like what?"

"Like maybe using the convenient slats of my headboard to tie you up. All helpless but to enjoy what I do to you."

A flash of heat flew through her body and pooled between her legs. "Maybe."

Jess smirked at the clear signs of Rory being turned on. "Or maybe we're in a public setting like this and I tell you everything I wish I were doing to you. Like licking at those pretty pink nipples, or maybe—"

Rory slapped a hand over his mouth to stop him. "Not right now!" She was embarrassingly turned on just listening to his low voice.

Jess laughed and ducked to kiss her red cheek. "Another time then." When their food arrived, they dug in with gusto. Jess watched as Rory tucked into her plate stacked high with pancakes a few bacon strips and a sunny side up egg. "Sex sure works up an appetite, doesn't it?"

Even though a blush appeared on her cheeks, Rory took the teasing in stride and winked at Jess. "I'm gearing up for tonight."

Jess raised a brow. "I thought I was supposed to date you. Go back to the beginning."

She bit her lip. "_Well_…"

Jess chuckled at the sight of Rory trying to shoot him a sexy naughty look. With her innocent demeanor and features, it didn't come off as naughty as much as silly. But it turned him on nonetheless. "Come 'ere." Jess pulled her legs into his lap and hooked his arm tight around her waist.

Rory sighed at the feel of Jess's body. There was something so indescribably masculine about him. Whether it was the scent of sandalwood and Dial soap or the scratchy stubble that dotted his jaw, she didn't know. But for all the heartache they put each other through, all she knew was that Jess made her feel _alive_. He made her feel alive when they fought, when they laughed, and when he was doing things to her body that should (and probably was) outlawed in some Southern states.

She kissed him gently on the jaw, tongue peeking out to taste. "Let's just enjoy this weekend, okay? We have plenty of time to figure out the logistics of this relationship when we get back to the real world in the city."

Jess nodded and couldn't resist cuddling her closer. "Okay. I agree. Let's just have fun while we're here but I just want to make things clear. This isn't some vacation fling or some rebound sex. When I gave you my word about trying this, I meant it. So when we get back home, we'll do what we need to."

"Deal." Rory offered him her pinky to hook around his.

"What the hell is this?" Jess laughed when Rory chased his hand around the table.

"You're supposed to pinky swear. Here, give me your pinky."

Jess playfully pulled away. "How old are you?"

"Give me your pinky!"

"No." Jess grabbed her hand and pulled her into his chest for a kiss.

"Well, well, what have we here?"

Jess and Rory pulled away and looked up to see Simon with a shit-eating grin on his face. Jess waved his arm to the empty seat across them. "Like you're surprised." He scoffed. "You totally had your hands in this."

Simon sat and nodded. "I was sick of seeing the two of you moping around and drawing blood. If we were back in kindergarten, you would have been dumping glue on her clothes and pulling Rory's hair." Simon sat comfortably as he ordered his breakfast and spied his friend and Rory make eyes at one another and sneak what they thought were secret touches under the table. Simon felt his heart lighten at the sight of his friend easily smiling after so long. And being together again, all three of them, wasn't as weird as any of them had feared. It was just a meal among friends.

"How long are you staying, Jess?"

"I'm about done. Maybe a few more days or so. How about you?"

Simon shrugged. "Couple more days but definitely before Sunday night."

Jess frowned. "Why?"

"No, it's not what you're thinking." Simon hurried to assure them that he wasn't leaving because he was uncomfortable being with them. "I…kinda have a date."

"_What_?" Jess's eyes just about bugged out of his head.

"Hey, I date!" Simon replied, affronted.

Rory giggled at Simon's expression. "Of course you do."

"That's right. I dated you."

Jess rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I know you date, Si. But you didn't say anything about it."

Simon seemed to squirm in his seat. "Well, I didn't want to bring it up."

"Why? Is she ugly?"

"Jess!" Rory punched him in the shoulder. "How could you say that?"

Jess rolled his eyes again and placated her with a condescending pat on her hand. "Shh, baby, this is guy talk." He nuzzled her shoulder for a moment.

"No, she's very attractive. Cute little thing with big green eyes and light brown hair. Small but packs a punch."

"So why am I only hearing about her now?"

"She's uh…a little young."

Jess munched on Rory's last piece of bacon. "How young?"

"Twenty-three." Simon ducked his head down and sipped his coffee to cover up his embarrassment.

Jess didn't bat an eye. "You like her?"

"Yeah. I've seen her around the office for a few months now. She's new. Comes around once in a while to ask about things."

"So if you like her, what difference does it make that you're a few years older than her?"

Simon shrugged and got a wistful look on his face. "Not a bit when I talk to her. She has this funny little habit of twisting her hands together and she'll breathe with her mouth slightly open when I get near her, and—"

Rory, who had been watching the conversation like a tennis game, spoke up. "Enough! This is _way_ too much 'guy talk' for me."

"Aw baby, you kinda do the same thing when you're turned on. You breathe in deep as if you can't get enough air and when I do that thing you like with my tongue against your—"

"That's way more than I need to know!" It was Simon's turn to shut them up.

Jess laughed at their embarrassment. "You guys are so easy to embarrass."

Simon narrowed his eyes and nodded to Rory. She got the hint and spoke up with her best innocent face in place. "Jess, when you get close you do this grunting thing. Very animal. And sometimes you even whimper when I take you into my—"

Jess got a terrified look on his face and kissed Rory to stop her from talking. "Okay, got it. We all know each other's dirty secrets."

"Pun intended." Rory laughed.

Both guys rolled their eyes at the cheap shot. "All right, I'm leaving. I can't stand all this gushing between you two." Simon got up, smiling.

Jess narrowed his eyes. "You're going to call that girl, aren't you?"

Simon blushed. "Whatever."

After they watched him leave, Jess nuzzled Rory's cheek. "I'm glad he found someone."

"Feel less guilty?"

Jess shook his head. "No, it's not that. I'm just happy for him. He deserves someone who will want to be with him because he's a good guy."

Rory didn't take offense to that remark. "Yeah, he is a good guy." She elbowed him lightly. "Wanna go take a walk? I can show you the town. Tell you some stories of me growing up."

Jess smiled and it was genuine. "Yeah, I'd like that." He pulled some bills to leave on the table and averted his gaze while he said, "And maybe I'll tell you some of my stories."

He missed Rory's brilliant smile, but she was certain he felt it.

* * *

"So I guess I'll see you back in the city." Rory leaned her forehead up against Jess's, arms wrapped tight around each other.

Jess traced the curve of her neck and bent his lips to hers. "This is silly." He breathed in her scent. "We're going to the same city."

"But in different cars."

He laughed. "We're awful."

"Yeah, I think we are." Jess released Rory and opened the driver's door for her. "I'll call you." He paused for a second. "Promise."

Rory laughed. "Okay." She straightened and cupped his face in her hands, looking him dead in the eyes. "I'm glad we ran into each other here. And I'm happy about how things turned out."

"Oh yeah?" He cocked a brow.

"Yeah."

"I'm happy too. And I'll try not to be such a bastard."

"Well, we'll both make mistakes, but we'll work through them, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, I better get going. I have to be at work tomorrow." She got into the car. "When can I see you?"

"This weekend?"

"Sounds good."

He closed the door. "I'll call you for our first real date. And to just say goodnight."

She stuck her head out the rolled down window. "You don't have to be some Ken-doll boyfriend."

"Ken?" He looked insulted. "Sweetheart, I'm GI Joe all the way."

She laughed. "Yeah right."

"God you're so damaging to my ego."

"See you later."

He watched her drive away and as her headlights went around the corner, he pulled out his phone, knowing that she had set hers to silent so she wouldn't be able to hear the ringing. He waited for her voicemail to kick in. "Hey Rory, this is Jess Mariano. I just wanted to say that I had a great time getting to know you in Stars Hollow and to ask if you'd like to go out on a date with me. Saturday would be great. Dinner, a movie, and some ice cream? Call me back." He smirked as he hung up, a goofy smile growing as he imagined her listening to his message.

"What was that?" Simon walked up behind him, cradling a complacent Killer in his arms.

Jess turned. "Asking out Rory for a first date."

"Ookay." Simon smiled. "I'm glad things worked out for you guys."

"Thanks, Si. I really mean it." Jess gave Simon's shoulder a manly punch. "If it weren't for you I don't know what I'd do."

"Yeah, you'd be using your palm and five fingers."

Jess laughed but sobered a few seconds later. "No, I mean it." He glanced at Simon seriously. "Having you as a friend means a lot to me. And I know you put up with a lot of my shit, but I just want to say that you mean a lot to me. You're my best friend."

Simon smiled softly but joked nonetheless. "Your only friend."

Jess shook his head. "That's cause I'm the only person who can put up with you."

"Ditto." They walked back to the diner, shoulder to shoulder, friends.

"You okay?"

Simon glanced over at Jess and thought about it for a moment. It had been an emotional ride lately, but he honestly felt that they were better friends because of it. "Yeah, I think I am."

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**AN: That's it; the end. :) Please read and review. Come on, it doesn't take much to just drop a note to say what you thought of the story.**


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